Trader Joe's Bananas Bananas! Candy

It's been a hot minute since we reviewed the classic Trader Joe's Gone Bananas! on this blog, but Sonia and I have purchased them many times since. They're still one of my personal favorite Trader Joe's items of all time. So naturally, I had to try this similarly named, similarly packaged candy featuring chocolate and banana flavors.

This one's shelf stable instead of frozen. There's plenty of chocolate here, but no real bananas. The only fruit presence is in the form of "banana powder." Doesn't sound super appetizing, but let's dig in anyway, shall we?

First impression: yum! There's a definite surge of banana flavor in the center of these candies. It's not quite like real banana, but it's close enough that you wouldn't mistake it for any other fruit. It's enough to balance out the abundant milk chocolate taste but doesn't dampen its potency.

The outer chocolate shell is firm but not too hard. The filling is only slightly softer. It's called "creme" but it's more al dente than a typical cream filling. Can I use "al dente" in a context unrelated to pasta? It just means "firm when bitten," right? I'm going with it either way. Al dente candy is a thing now...just because I said so.

There are also little crunchy things in the center of the mini-bananas. I might have guessed it was crispy rice, but I'm thinking now it's the cocoa nibs. I like 'em, although I think crisp, toasted rice would have worked at least as well. The nibs just get lost in the sea of chocolate, cocoa, and more chocolate.

The verdict? Worth a purchase or two for sure. Not as good as the original Gone Bananas! but few things are, at Trader Joe's or anywhere for that matter. $3.29 for 5 oz of banana flavored candy. No need for refrigeration or freezing. Might be a nice treat for school lunches or a hike in cool weather. I wouldn't think of these as a summer snack as much since the chocolate would no doubt get messy. The bag is resealable and the artwork on the packaging is fun. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spring Cupcake Mix

I have no idea if this product is back on Trader Joe's shelves again this year. They discontinue good stuff at the drop of a hat. Even if it's not back this spring, there's always a chance they'll bring it back in the future at some point, so just go ahead and read the review anyway and pretend it's relevant now. Mmkay? Thanks.

I procured my box by traveling back in time to Spring 2022. You didn't know I had a time machine? I've mentioned it before. I call it the magical DeLorean TARDIS time sled hot tub. Super original, right? I decided to pick up a box of this mix this year because I was unable to get my hands on one last spring.

And I'm glad I did. It's a tasty product. Some assembly required, of course. Also eggs, water, butter, and milk. Twenty-two minutes in the oven at 350° and we're in business.

Trader Joe's Spring Cupcakes came out super moist, sweet, and vanilla-y. The green frosting was a little runny at first, but after congealing in the fridge for a half hour or so, it got nice and spreadable. Oh—that's another thing: the frosting mix is white, but when you mix it with butter, it turns green. It's like a far-out science experiment. I can't even explain it...and I built a time machine.

There's nothing oily or cheap or sub-par about these cupcakes. Nothing that tastes off. Well, now that I say that, those little egg candies didn't blend so well with the other elements, texture or flavor-wise. They have a candy shell with dark chocolate and caramel within. There's nothing wrong with them, really. They just feel like an unnecessary gimmick that got thrown in at the last second to make the product feel more Eastery or springy or something.

$4.99 for the box of cake mix, frosting mix, and little dark chocolate caramel egg candies. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Spring Cupcake Mix. And for those of you who wonder why I can't use my time machine to go forward to see whether TJ's brings this product back or not—well, of course I can. But there's no telling whether the timeline we wind up on as a collective is the same one I'll travel to in order to do product recon. I have seen at least one tangent universe where this product is back. But I've seen a bunch where it's not. In essence, the future isn't set in stone. Anyway, Sonia gives this product four out of five stars. I, John Titor, er...I mean Nathan, give this product four stars as well.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Bark

I like my chocolate like I like my women: dark and chunky. 

Ha, no. I can't even right now. I like my women petite, like my Sonia. And I actually prefer white chocolate. I just always wanted to say "I like my women like I like some food or beverage." I tried it once long ago, and it didn't work then either.

Seriously, though: a quick internet search will reveal that dark chocolate is the best kind of chocolate for raising serotonin levels in the body. Among other things, it's the chemical that regulates emotions, appetite, and sleep cycles. So despite a preference for the taste of white or milk chocolate, there are other reasons why I might reach for the dark variety once in a while.

And there's plenty of dark chocolate in this little bag of bark. There are big slabs of the stuff—mostly quadrilateral shapes. I'd say each chunk is at least four bites a piece, and I'd say the vast majority of the product is nothing but chocolate.

There are definitely almond and pretzel bits in every hunk, but the average bite only contains a teensy crumb of either almond or pretzel. It's rare if you get a detectable piece of nut and pretzel in the same bite.

That's my biggest complaint. I like the almond and pretzel presence here. I wish there were a bit more of it.

There's plenty of sea salt, though, in Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Bark. Just a slab or two will make you plenty thirsty. If anything, I think the salt could be toned down some.

I expected Sonia to enjoy this product a lot more than me since she's way more into dark chocolate, but she too wished there were more of the mix-ins throughout the bark and a lot less salt. She gives it three out of five stars.

I give Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Bark three out of five stars, as well. Dark chocolate lovers might like this product more than I did by virtue of the dark chocolate content, but this product could use a little more pizzazz if you ask us. We'll finish the bag easily enough, but it's probably not a repeat purchase. $3.99 for 10 oz of kosher dark chocolate in a resealable bag.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.