Trader Joe's Organic Granny's Apple Granola Cereal

When I hear the words "granny" and "apple" in the same phrase, I naturally think of Granny Smith apples—especially when I see that lovely shade of light green. And although the ingredients don't specify what type of apples are used in this product (just says "organic dried apples") I'm pretty sure they're not Granny Smith. But that's not a bad thing in this case. I'm thinking Granny Smiths would have been too sour. The apples we find here are nice and sweet, and they mix very well with the organic oats sweetened with organic milled cane sugar. I was actually pretty pleased with the amount of apple bits throughout the cereal. There were walnuts, too, but those were fairly sparse in our box.

Apparently Sonia wishes there were more pieces of apple. Her comment: "I wish it had little pieces of apple in it." My reply: "It does." Her next comment: "Hmm funny I don't remember eating them. But then again I am a little weird." Oh, Sonia. In her defense, though, they do blend in pretty well with the rolled oats and other granola ingredients—visually, as well as flavor-wise. Strangely, she still liked it enough to give it four out of five stars.

It's a solid, hearty, granola-based cereal. Just think of any other granola cereal you've had from Trader Joe's or anywhere else for that matter, and throw in some dried apple bits, and that's pretty much what you have here in terms of taste and texture. Considering it's completely organic and naturally-flavored, I can't go lower than four stars either. Like Russ's last post, this product has been a mainstay on that TJ's cereal shelf for at least four or five years now—but we just tried it for the first time this past week and we're here to tell you that it's worth a purchase. It just might wind up on your grocery list week after week.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Triple Berry-O's

Sigh.

I had this completely, totally, fun, cute idea for this review of Trader Joe's Triple Berry-O's. Basically, it was going to a review from the standpoint of my three ("an' a haff!", as she proudly exclaims) year old of what I thought was her favorite cereal. I'm talking in-depth review and analysis, complete with bite-by-bite play-by-play, with telestrator and all. Might have even called Madden out of retirement for it.

But...M, in typical three an' a haff year old attitude, completely refused. Come to find out, she's more intrigued these days by "grandma crunchers wif brown sugar an' milk on dem" (i.e., Corn Chex) or "Corn Chex, cuz dey have corn on dem" (i.e., Kix - see the box) or Rice Krispies (no cute name for those) these days. When we ran out of all of those and had only Berry-O's left was she reluctantly willing to have them for breakfast once more. It helped that I fibbed that we were out of waffles and bread for toast. I swear, she used to eat an entire box, by herself, every week or so, not all that long ago.

Might be a good thing, though, because her food critic skills are AWFUL. I gave her a simple test, like Chef Ramsay's "Chicken, beef or pork?" taste test, only it was "blueberry, strawberry, or raspberry." I gave her a bite with one of each berry in it with her eyes closed, and asked her what berry she tasted. After the blueberry bite: "Nothin'!" This is after she said blueberry was her favorite. After raspberry: "Blueberry!" She did manage to get the strawberry, right, though, probably because of shape more than anything else.

Anyways, the TJ triple berry O's are pretty straightforward. I like the O's part - simple, basic honey oat munchers, like any other store brand. It's one of my favorite cereals, non-Cocoa Pebbles division. But, to be honest, I hate the berries part. Like any freeze dried fruit, they're too strong, too sweet, too acidic almost, too sugary, too jarring with the rest. If there's going to be fruit in my cereal, it's got to be fresh, because at least then I'll get that from an actual piece of fruit, not the dried up remaining shell of one. At least I'd say the box is 90% O's, 10% fruit (at most) so it's not anything to make too big a fuss out of.

Naturally, the berries are my kids' favorite part, so I can pick them out of my cereal, give the berries to them, win Best Daddy Ever award, not miss out on anything I like, and be left with a bowl of cereal I'm perfectly content with. Seriously, the look on their eyes when I give them a berry would look just like mine if you gave me a hundred dollar bill.

In M's words, "I used to like them, but now I only like dem a lil' bit." That's because "dey make me sticky." I'm not sure what she means either. When I asked her how many spoons she wanted to give them, she just grunted then asked if she could wear her jammies all day and when she could watch Daniel Tiger. Eh well. For $3.29, the O's were quite a regular pick up for us, and I get the appeal of them. Bonus points for being fairly nutritious and no silly cartoon characters or movie tie-ins. I recommend giving 'em a try.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Triple Berry O's: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Espresso Dark Chocolate Baton

Two of these happy little bars ensnared Sonia at the checkout counter on her last TJ's run. She enthusiastically devoured hers before she even got it home. She suggested that I try mine immediately. She even mentioned it on our last podcast episode and gave me an ultimatum to eat my bar by the following day.

But my bar sat on the counter for the better part of a week. That's not a testament to my willpower, believe me. That's a testament to the fact that dark chocolate and espresso doesn't really excite me that much. I finally tried one of the detachable sections and thought, "Yeah I can totally see how Sonia is into this." The remainder of the bar lay dormant on the counter for the next few days. I offered it to Sonia and she politely declined and said she might eat it later. That probably IS a testament to her willpower in that, apparently, she has some.

I ate about a section per day for the next three or four days. I don't remember how many sections the bar had exactly...somewhere between four and six I'm pretty sure. But I found that for me, it hit the spot most when I was getting into my post-lunch afternoon coma and needed a little shot of caffeine and sugar. If you're into chocolate-covered espresso beans, you'll surely enjoy this firm, crispy candy bar. There's plenty of dark chocolate flavor and there are tiny, crunchy espresso bean bits all through it. Sonia gives it four and a half stars and I'm torn between three and three and a half. I'll go with the higher score since the product is only 99 cents and I'm sure most of our readers will appreciate it much more than I did.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Pour-Over Coffee Brewer

I'm wiling to be shortsighted and/or wrong here, but I have a hard time seeing the practicality of the new Trader Joe's Pour-Over Coffee Brewer. Not that I'm entirely sure how it works...seems to be some sort of disposable filtered plunger-less French press-esque contraption. But, for a single serving, look, it's silly. "Backpacking!" you may say. I had that thought as well...but then thought of all the excess material to pack in/pack out, along with the cost (somewhere between $1.50 and $2 each), you'd be better off with a French press mug if you're a serious hiker, or something like Starbucks Via for the occasional hiker. Maybe if you're car camping for the night...maybe. I wouldn't pull this out at the office, and I have at least four coffee makers at home that I can think of...this seems silly.

Although, it's decent coffee. Just straight up black, doctor however you wish (if at all). It's better than Starbucks Via/any other instant coffee that comes to mind...since this is actual brewed coffee. And I don't mind Via, not because it's great, but because anything tastes better in the Great Outdoors (as opposed to the Typical Corporate Cubicle, the Reliable PreOwned Hyundai, or the Kitchen In Desperate Need of Remodeling). Nothing fancy, not all that much character to it that's absolutely distinctive. Just plain ol' coffee, better than gas station coffee (though in the same price ballpark) and much better than Wendy's (worst coffee I've ever had!), but more of a fuss to make between pouring in hot water, etc. It'll get you warm and caffeinated on some fairly reasonable terms, which as good as it gets sometimes with ultra-mobile coffee.

Solid but unspectacular. But there may be something to this particular set-up that I'm whiffing on, so if I am, please fill me in!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Pour-Over Coffee Brewer: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Joe's Convivial Cookie Collection

Someone in TJ's marketing department was paying attention during vocab. The word "convivial" just means friendly, agreeable, or enjoyable. I've only heard it used once or twice in my whole life during casual conversation, but hey, it adds to the alliteration in the title of the product. And alliteration is clearly convivial to the cochlea, don't you concur?

Leave it to Trader Joe's to combine trains, friendliness, and random cookies from Germany with very European-sounding names in a way that doesn't make any sense...and yet still there's this inexplicable impression that they know what they're doing. It worked on us, right? And we've no major complaints about this product, either. When they say 24 cookies in the box, it's not a trick in this case—unlike their five-ounce tuna cans and bags of "about" 40 churros.

Each type of cookie is pretty good, although there were definitely some I liked better than others. I liked the crispy cylindrical cookies the best. It might have been my overactive imagination, but they had an almost citrusy, lemony essence about them. A close second for me were the Kit Kat-esque wafers covered in dark chocolate. I might have liked them even more if they were covered in white chocolate, but the dark kind worked just fine in this case. I'd also say the same about those butter cookies with choco-fied edges. Those were my third favorite. In fact, if you look at the picture, Trader Joe's conveniently laid out the cookies from left to right in the order that I like them.

Overall, Sonia liked the cookies even more than I did. Plus, she was a huge fan of the nonsensical train-themed packaging and clever quips spoken by the cookies, like when the circular coconut cookie says, "I'm always around" on the back of the box. Her favorite cookie is the one with the knight from a chess set on it. Sure, the knight is made of white chocolate, but there's barely enough to taste it at all, especially considering it's surrounded on all sides by dark chocolate. She liked that there were seven different cookies to choose from, and that when you tired of one kind, there were still others to try. She gives this product four stars.

I can't get super excited about the packaging in this case, and I'm not really the biggest dark chocolate-covered cookie guy in the world, but I must admit that for $3, these are high-quality selections of confections. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Episode 16: New Dec 2015 - Jan 2016 Products

Listen to us chat about some brand new stuff coming out on Trader Joe's shelves!

MP3!

Show notes!

Trader Joe's Oakwood Cold Smoked English Cheddar Cheese

So....how do you smoke a block of cheese so it doesn't melt? I mean, where's there's smoke, there's fire, right? I had no idea until Googling it, so if you're interested, here ya go.

We've had a somewhat spotty history with Trader Joe's Spotlight Cheeses of the Month. See Exhibit A and Exhibit B. But Trader Joe's Oakwood Cold Smoked English Cheddar Cheese is a winner. Unlike other English cheddars from TJ's I've had, this isn't of the cold and clammy variety. No, it's more of the traditional waxy/creamy hybrid of most other cheddars, and it's strong, too. It's not the sharpness itself that really sticks out - I'd say it's midrange at most - but the smoke. And it's definitely oak too...my dad smokes meats quite a bit, experimenting with different wood chips, so I can discern between oak and maple and cherry and whatnot. Very oaky, very smoky. It's almost a little too uniform, though, making me question a little if this cheese were truly smoked or just add smoke flavoring added - I'm giving TJ's the benefit of the doubt and saying the first.

Regardless, this is an excellent cheddar, and a good deal at $7.99 a pound. Pair with a pour of bourbon, some slices of pastrami or roast beef, make a killer mac 'n cheese - lotsa possibilities here. Go at it! Bonus points for the Flanders-esque "Oakely Doakely" on the label as well.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Oakwood Cold Smoked English Cheddar Cheese: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Trader Jacques' Tarte à l'Oignon Alsatian Style Onion Tart

If you like onions, you'll undoubtedly like this onion tart. Why? Because it's nothing but a boatload of caramelized onions on a bed of buttery bread. Is that a good thing? Yes...if you like onions.

From the moment we peeled back the plastic wrapping, that pungent, oniony fragrance filled our entire kitchen. Even standing five or 10 feet away from the product, it was still noticeable—and possibly even overwhelming, particularly for onionophobes. Good thing both Sonia and I like onions.

We've noticed that the scent of onions on one's breath is vaguely offensive only if you have abstained from the consumption of onions. If you've been eating them too, then it's not so bad. Who wants to kiss someone with onion-breath, except perhaps someone else with onion-breath? Garlic possesses similar qualities.

We heated the product per the instructions, but felt that it came out a little underdone. We were both quite hungry at the time, so we bypassed the option of putting it back in the oven and ate it as it was. It was still delicious, if perhaps a little doughy. We both agreed that the more thoroughly cooked parts were superior in taste and texture. The little bit of browning and crisping we had around the edges and corners was very welcome. So, if anything, I'd say err on the side of overcooking this product just a tad.

The crust is very similar to a pizza crust. There aren't many surprises there. As mentioned before, the onions are caramelized and also fairly creamy. I'm not sure if this would make a great stand-alone dinner just by itself, but as a side dish, it adds a nice, classy international element for under $4 (although TJ's official web page says something about zombies and clowns potentially changing the official price tag). This product is actually imported from France. Sonia and I have both been there, although never together. On our next visit, we will most definitely make a stop in Alsace Lorraine. 

Sonia liked it even more than I did. Four and a half stars from her. I think it deserves a four.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.