Trader Joe's Orange Peach Mango 100% Juice

I have a confession to make to you, dear readers. I have an addiction that I don't think I can stop. This isn't so different from you. We all have our little addictions (or perhaps, for the lighter stuff, "bad habits") ranging from pretty tame (say, like fingernail biting) to weird (teeth whitening) to just plain scary (plastic surgery, anyone?*). Way I look at it is, I'm not one to judge that much, especially because I got my own: juice. I freakin' love juice, especially the citrusy kinds. I've been known to drink a gallon of OJ by myself in a day and a half. I don't know if it's all the sugar or some deeply yet subliminally implanted fear of scurvy (probably both), but juice and me, we're good buddies. Ask Sandy. All too often, after shopping for the week and finding some alternative to water, milk or beer for our shelves, I guzzle down the entire jug with my poor wife getting nary a sprinkle of her own. Poor gal. Of course, though, we have slightly different tastes in juice. She's more a fan of different juicy blends so while I could absorb OJ on a constant drip, for her, it has to be mixed with something to make it drinkable. Otherwise, it's just too acidic and bitter for her. And oh, if it has pulp, forget about it.

Fortunately, Trader Joe's has a pretty decent juice selection ranging from sugary sweet to super healthy to, well, let's say unusual yet good. There's a lot of space for middle ground here. When Sandy and I shop, we don't always have to go the citrus route to satisfy my cravings, but when I'm really getting the DTs for a good liquid Vitamin C system shock, I know exactly what to reach for.

I love love love the Trader Joe's Orange Peach Mango 100% Juice. Love it, despite the weird placement of "100%" in its name. Love it, even though from a pure citrus standpoint it's not a be-all-end-all. Love it, even as I just polished off the carton moments before typing this, as I'm ready for more. It's really a blend of six juices from concentrate - besides the aforementioned orange, peach, and mango it also has apple (of course), grape (what doesn't have grape juice these days?) and pineapple. Altogether they form a nice orangey colored, thick, kinda cloudy free-flowing river of taste from my glass down into my belly. And the more I drink, the better it tastes. I love it. At first, the three citrus amigos are the prevalent flavor before smoothing into the peach and mango finish that erases any bitterness or acidic aftertones. I'm guessing it's grape's and apple's job to provide a good platform to make all this possible, and they do it well. The taste lingers for a while, too, if you allow it. It's good enough for me to enjoy it whether early in the morning or later in the evening. And for something like $3, definitely a good choice.

Sandy's not as big a fan as I am, but that's alright. She's enjoyed some glasses of it here and there, but I'm definitely the primary partaker of this preservative-free pasteurized potion at our homestead. In fact, I may or may not have drank the entire last carton without any spousal assistance...hrmmm...well, hopefully she won't be *too* mad. She at least recalled drinking enough of it at some point to go ahead and give it a 3, mostly because she wasn't nearly as much a fan of the citrusy aspects as I was. Other types of blends are much more to her liking. Me? I'm going with a 4.5. It doesn't completely satisfy my pure citrus cravings, but dang, it's good.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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* I bet you thought that was gonna be Michael Jackson. Oh no. It gets a lot worse than him. Gadzooks!!!

Trader Joe's Beer Battered Vidalia Sweet Onion Rings

I'm not sure who came up with the idea of onion rings. Why not fried carrots or broccoli? In Asian restaurants, you'll find vegetable tempura, which is, I guess, as close as you'll get unless you want to buy a deep fat fryer and do it yourself. The fried potato has done very well in the form of French fries, tater tots and hash browns. And I guess fried zucchini has fairly widespread acceptance as a home-cooked food.

The thing about onion rings that really frustrates me is that since the onion has a smooth skin on it, it never really absorbs the fried-ness. The batter simply coats the onion slices and doesn't penetrate the skin of the onion, which in and of itself is not a bad thing. But when I try to eat the onion ring, I always have the problem of the piece of onion slipping right out of its "sleeve" of crispiness, and I find myself with a mouthful of nothing but warm onion. These rings were no exception.

We followed the cooking instructions on the bag, heated them in the oven, and still, we felt they weren't particularly crispy. They seemed to have larger slices of onion than most varieties I've tried. These Trader Joe's Onion Rings are like the steak fries of the onion ring world. They're thick and bulky. It really bothered Sonia, because she's used to onion rings being thin and crispy. That's certainly one way to have them, but I'm always open for something new. I thought the thickness made them heartier in a way. Not only were the onion slices bigger, but there seemed to be a thicker layer of batter on the outside, too, making them kind of doughy. They were more like a meal by themselves this way, as opposed to just a side dish. I think in part due to their size, they retained a greater amount of moisture than most onion rings. Not quite to the point of sogginess, but certainly to the point where it detracted from their crunch-factor.

Flavor-wise, what more could you want from onion rings? Big, sweet vidalia onions, covered in a really nice beer batter. They tasted great to both of us. We dipped them in some ranch dressing, which added a little bit of tang. Personally, I think the crème de la crème of the fried onion world is Outback Steakhouse's Bloomin' Onion. So good, it has its own Wikipedia page, yet so bad for you, it has an entire day's worth of calories. I've never been huge on Funyuns or really cheap onion rings. And I've been meaning to try White Castle's, after hearing some good things about them. But there again, they get a nutrition grade of D+. Trader Joe's Onion Rings have only 130 calories and 60 fat-cals per serving...oh, but wait, there are five servings in the bag. Hmmm, I would have guessed there were only about two and a half servings in the bag. That's tricky. Still not good for you, but maybe not quite as fattening as other brands.

Sonia gives these circular snacks 2.5 stars. I think that's a bit too low. I've gotta give 'em at least a 4. They tasted great to me, even if they were a little over-sized and lacking in the crispiness department. That'll earn them a final status of "not bad."

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Caramelized Nut Trio

You probably don't need me to tell you that life doesn't always go as planned. Same holds true even when you go on vacation. Last Thursday, Sandy and I were in San Diego, hanging out with our friend Ashley downtown at Seaport Village, and planning to attend a "Taste of Downtown" event where we would get to sample tasty dishes from something like 50 different restaurants while touring different neighborhoods. Sounds like a great night, right? Well...you might've heard about it, but an Arizona utility worker had a different idea and set off a massive blackout at around 3:30, which pretty much cancelled everything in the city that night, our dinner plans included.* Well, what can you do, right? The three of us made our back to Ashley's apartment, rummaged out all the candles we could, got out the board games (three rounds of Life, anyone?) and gathered together all sorts of snacky foods. It turned out to be a fantastically fun night, though we were all a little bit relieved when the lights flickered back on at about 11 p.m.

It's kinda like that old saying: When life you gives you nuts, you might as well caramelize them. Or something like that. In the early parts of the blackout, we decided to break out the TJ's Caramelized Nut Trio, even though they were one of the very few readily accessible protein sources for God knew how long. Without power, you (or at least *I*) think about such things. It's survival, dangit.

As for the caramelly nuts - man, they're a great snack food. Very munchy and tasty, and kinda hard to stop grazing on. We were all dipping our paws into the bowl pretty often, though me perhaps a little more often than the two chicas. I loved the mix of walnuts, almonds, and cashews all covered in crunchy caramel coating - salty and sweet in a near perfect blend. To me, they definitely had a good solid crunch to them, though perhaps more due to the candy coating then the nuts themselves. I have no major complaints about them, but just a minor quibble - it'd be nice if a few peanuts were mixed in, too, but I'm glad it wasn't predominantly those nuts as other mixes usually are. I firmly approve, and think they'd be great by themselves or mixed with or put on top of something else.

Las chicas, though? Since there were three nuts in the mix (literally in the TJ trio and figuratively that night in San Diego), I'm soliciting not just Sandy but also, for our first ever celebrity guest judge, Ashley's opinion on the matter. Sandy liked munching on them some, too, but mentioned she wished the nuts themselves were a little harder and crunchier, kinda like the raw almonds we also had that night. Ashley sided a little bit more with me and enjoyed the Nut Trio quite a bit. "I just wish there were some other tastes or bits of something else in there so it's not the same taste over and over, though," she said. Not a bad idea, but not necessary to me, at least.

Okay, three of us, three scores to juggle. Let's be fair and give each of us 3.33 spoons to deal with, and kinda forget about that pesky .01 spoon leftover. For me, 3 out of 3.33 Golden Spoons for another nutty, tasty, irresistible TJ snack. Sandy went with 1.5, and Ashley chimed in with a solid 2.5. If I'm carrying the 1 and counting my toes right that's...let's see...a 7 out of 10. Not bad at all.

You stay classy, San Diego.**
Bottom line: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons
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*Fortunately, we went out the next night to Mama Testa Taqueria in Hillcrest...amazing. Check out their fresh salsa bar with like ten different homemade salsas, each one unique and delicious, and their "mividita" (fish tacos), simply put, were outstanding.
**Especially you, whoever smashed the window of our rental car that night. Fortunately, you made my day for two reasons: signed up for the damage waiver when I rented so it cost me nothing (actually got money back for returning the car a day early then). Also: you managed to somehow ignore the GPS, iPod, and camera flash that were in the glovebox and run off only with a bag with some of our, let's say, less desirable dirty laundry in it. Hope you enjoy that.