Trader Joe's Five Seed Almond Bars

It's a pretty well established fact by now that the checkout displays at Trader Joe's sometimes giveth and sometimes taketh away. Generally, by that I mean they giveth something yummy for me to eat while they taketh my dollars. There's been a few tremendous finds, some fun combos, and very few duds. Nutritional value is occasionally very debatable at best.

But...what if something there could be healthy and taste good?

It was upon the checkout lane that I first discovered Trader Joe's Five Seed Almond Bars. Usually, they're nestled in some nether regions above frozen Asian food and below much flashier-looking cookies that I'd never really seen them around until they were a featured item. Indeed, I had to look around for a couple minutes to find them once more even after being told exactly where they were by an employee. Maybe if they wore a red-and-white beanie, goofy glasses, and a striped shirt they'd be easier to spot when only at their normal home.

Tell ya what: Regardless of where displayed, these almond bars should not be overlooked. They're that good. Each bar isn't that big - about an ounce, a little more than an inch wide, maybe three inches long, half an inch thick, maybe - but they pack a lot. Each bite is soft and inviting, yet chewy but still crumbly, with some seeds randomly interspersed that make the bars pretty fun to munch on. Indeed, I had to chomp on these a bit more than I usually chew my food. For taste, they're like an amazing hybrid between pumpkin pie and my grandmother's molasses cookies, even though there's no molasses in them. Must be the cinnamon and cloves, which really shine through. Each respective seed - flax, poppy, sunflower, sesame and pumpkin - adds even more flavor to the subtly nutty base. And yes, there's a fair amount of sugar, although it sure doesn't taste like it - these are more geared for grown-ups and not kids, it seems. Not a bad thing. If you're a morning yogurt person, I'd imagine some yogurt with a bar crumbled on top would be a fairly tasty treat.

Both Sandy and I are fans. They're soft, delicious, and surprisingly filling. One of these, an apple, and some coffee, and I'm set til lunch. As an added bonus the almond bars are pretty decently priced ($3.99 for a package of 8) and pack more nutrition than a regular ol' granola bar. It's just a good, honest bite that's pretty close to perfect for a busy, on-the-go day. Sandy gives them a four, I counter with a 4.5,

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Five Seed Almond Bars: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons   

Trader Joe's Spicy, Smoky, Peach Salsa

Neither spicy nor smoky in my humble opinion, this peach salsa doesn't live up to its name particularly well. But had its label proudly declared something about being "chunky" or "addictive," I'd go ahead and say, "mission accomplished."

The taste is great, especially if you like peaches. This salsa is full of huge chunks of actual fruit, plus tomatoes, peppers, and other more traditional salsa ingredients. The spice level is barely perceivable, with just the slightest hint of tongue-tingling heat creeping through the sweet peach and tangy tomato juices. And quite frankly, I was hoping there wasn't much in the way of "smokiness," because even just a little too much in that department is enough to make you feel like you're snacking on ashes. Fortunately, there's even less than I was expecting.

I'm a relative newcomer to the world of sweet salsas. For a long time, the idea of sweet fruit mixed with tomato sauce just weirded me out. Kinda like Hawaiian pizza—which I'm now a huge fan of. But so far Trader Joe's has offered us at least one other mostly successful sweet salsa, which we reviewed just last month. In the past, we saw Russ and Sandy muse over the strangely sweet Tomato-less Salsa, which Sonia and I tried shortly thereafter. Both houses were divided on that product: thumbs down from Russ, thumbs up from Sandy; thumbs down from Sonia, thumbs up from me.

I do have to mention at this point that two of the best sweet salsas I've ever had came from Target, surprisingly enough. And while this peach salsa and the aforementioned pineapple salsa are both great offerings from TJ's, they simply aren't quite as impressive as the Archer Farms Summer Fruits Salsa that I've come to adore. If given the choice between TJ's pineapple salsa and this, I think I'd take the pineapple since it's just a tad sweeter and its label makes no misleading claims about smokiness or spiciness, although I must say Sonia and I polished off this tiny jar in a single sitting—so there's plenty of good things going for this salsa. It has a great balance of sweet and savory flavors, it's extremely chunktastic, it goes well with white corn tortilla chips, and it's reasonably priced at $2.29. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Ming's Five Spice Chicken and Asian Style Rice Noodle Salad

Another day, another dollar. Another day of uninspiring leftovers in a sparsely-filled refrigerator (we keep low stock when we're out of town often like we have been). Another day of TPS reports at the cubicle farm. Another day of being too cheap to order delivery from the cruddy area Chinese restaurants. So, to liven things up a bit...yep, another early morning TJ's run to try another salad and figure out if it's lunch-rotation worthy or not. Yeeeeeeeeehaw.

In the line-up this week: Trader Ming's Five Spice Chicken and Asian Style Rice Noodle Salad. Now that's a mouthful of a name. Know what there's not a mouthful of? The chicken. Okay, there's probably technically a literal full mouth's worth of grilled chicken strips, but once again, the infamous TJ chicken cheater strikes again. One respectable sized strip and few small munches (maybe adding up to another respectable sized strip) just isn't enough, no matter how tasty it is....which is too bad, because it is pretty darn good poultry.

Fresh, firm, gently spiced with some five spice (definite emphasis on the black pepper, but not offensively so) - it's some good bird. Too bad TJ's decided to flip a bird at us while doling it out.

Other than that, it's a decent enough bite. All the veggies  - cabbage, carrots, etc - kinda make a dry coleslaw to go on top the rice noodles. Now, I'm not sure if I'm just really used to fried rice noodles, or overly cooked wimpy ones, because to describe these noodles as al dente is a bit of an understatement. They can probably double as fiber optic replacement strands. That's not necessarily a bad thing just...unexpected. I doubt I've had noodles as firm and vigorous as these fellas before, and like about that thing my wife mentioned the over night, if I don't remember it, it doesn't count. The chili lime dressing isn't too exciting one way or another, and one of the nice things is, there's more than enough that if you don't use all of it, you can save yourself some fat and calories without sacrificing too terribly much. It does strike me as an odd choice for an Asian-inspired salad (something sesame seems more appropriate to me), but, well, what do I know?

Sandy had one of these too a few weeks back, and while she doesn't distinctly remember too many details about it, she did recall that she liked it enough to get it again sometime if the need/opportunity arises. That's worthy of a four for her. For me...for the $4.49 I spent on it, I could have instead opted for a grilled chicken salad here from the work cafe which would have probably three times as much chicken on it. But then I'd want to get fries and cookies which then defeats the whole purpose of a salad. Consider the price point a draw, then. I too would get again, but I'll probably keep scoping out the salad options - anybody got a solid suggestion? Comment below!

Bottom line: Trader Ming's Five Spice Chicken and Asian Style Rice Noodle Salad: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons.