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Monday, June 15, 2020

Trader Joe's Pecan Pralines

Man, 2020 has been quite a year so far, and we're not even halfway through it yet. Has the whole world gone nuts?

Apparently, everything is happening on schedule. Earlier this year, I finished reading a book called The Fourth Turning, written the year I graduated high school: 1997, over two decades ago. This book specified that the "climax of the crisis era" would begin "around the year 2020" and would be marked by "new diseases," "cultural distress," "social distress," "political distress," "economic distress," and "military distress." These predictions were made based on the simple theory that history repeats itself roughly every 80 years. 

Look at 1940: WWII raged around the world and the U.S. got pulled into it the following year. 80 years prior: 1860, the American Civil War. 80 years prior to that: 1780, right in the middle of the American Revolution. The pattern actually goes back well before the formation of this country, and it can be observed in almost any civilization throughout history. It's an incredibly insightful read and I could go on and on for pages, so to prevent this snack review from becoming a book report, I'll try to wrap things up. My point? It's going to be a bumpy ride for a while, but stuff is cyclical, and no, the world is not nuts—or more accurately, it's no more or less nuts than it's ever been.

What is nuts? Trader Joe's Pecan Pralines. In times like these, it's nice to have an old familiar snack that you can count on to curb the munchies, satisfy a sweet tooth, and keep your blood sugar up without too much fanfare.

The pecans are a good mixture of pecan halves and smaller pecan bits, generously coated in a praline confection consisting of sugar, butter, corn syrup, vanilla, and salt. They're very sweet, moderately salty, and surprisingly buttery. Texture-wise, for a fraction of a second, they feel almost breaded when they're in my mouth. I guess that's a testament to the amount of sugar, butter, and salt that's on there.

The flavor is so potent that I'm usually pretty satisfied after just two or three pecans. Beyond that, I feel like I'm teetering on the brink of hyperglycemic shock. That sweet butter just builds up on my tongue and I need to chug a half gallon of water to reclaim equilibrium in my mouth. In light of that, I think this single tub would last me quite a while if it were just me. Sonia's quite happy to eat them all day long, however. She finds them supremely addictive.

These have been around there on TJ's candy shelf for a number of years now, at least. Once again, this is the first opportunity we've had to try them. If you already like pecans and enjoy them in a buttery candy form, then this snack is for you. I'd be okay going quite a while before we purchase them again, but I think Sonia will grab them sooner. 

A plastic tub will run you just under $6 at Trader Joe's, or....what the WHAT? You can pick them up on eBay for about $40 plus shipping?

Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.


  1. love these things but i don't buy them. They're crack to me

    1. I agree! They are sooo addicting and the price is cheap!


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