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Monday, March 23, 2020

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Yerba Mate Beverage

Yerba mate. Ginkgo biloba. Myocardial infarction. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

There are some words and phrases I don't get to say on a daily basis, but I wish I did. Dispensational premillennialism, for example.

I guess I should have been a theologian, herbalist, or doctor if I really wanted to say those words. 

Wait. Does anyone really get to say "antidisestablishmentarianism" on a regular basis? Pretty sure they just made up that word for the purposes of fun facts and spelling bees. Anyway, I wish I had occasion to say it more often. 

On the other hand, meh. The grass is always greener, methinks. I should just be grateful I get to say "yerba mate" a few times on this glorious day...another day of social distancing and elbow bumps instead of handshakes. A day full of other wonderful phrases like "shelter in place," "toilet paper hoarders," "hydroxychloroquine," and "cytokine storm" --things I never imagined I'd come to say on the regular. Yet here we are. It's a brave new world of weird new phrases.

Can't say I know much about yerba mate. I've had a yerba mate hot tea or two, thanks to the lovely Sonia, a veritable tea aficionado. It has an earthy and faintly bitter tea-ish flavor. I guess it has antioxidants or something like that, too. Sounds good. I like antioxidants. I'm quite certain it's a placebo effect, but I always feel better when I eat and drink stuff that's rich in antioxidants.

This tea is no exception. Maybe it's the caffeine, but it's invigorating somehow. It's super refreshing and the flavor is light, flowery, and faintly citrusy. It's a very interesting flavor, especially considering there's no sugar and zero calories. The carbonation is a nice touch. It's bubbly, but not overly so. And I love me some carbonation. It makes everything that much fancier. Take water, for example. It comes out of your tap, basically for free. Add carbonation, some weak flavoring, and stick it in a can? Suddenly you can sell an 8 pack for $3.38 at the local Walmart.

I think carbonated iced teas are the future. I hope to see more drinks like Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Yerba Mate Beverage. $1.49 per bottle. I give it four stars. I was quite certain Sonia would like it even more than I did, but she wasn't blown away by the taste. She expressed a desire for a stronger flavor—more hibiscus in particular. Three stars from her.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.


  1. I get to say myocardial infarction ALL THE TIME. Pairs well with anterolateral or inferolateral.


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