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Thursday, July 6, 2017

Trader Joe's Organic Cold Brew Mocha Nut Latte

July. Hot hot hot. Or, if in Pennsylvania like me, it's beginning to get humid too. Real humid. Granted, it's not the sweltering unrelenting steam of late July-to-mid-September that feels like a homicidal dishwasher going full tilt with the door cracked open quite yet, but it's coming. You desert people with your dry heat - you're lucky. I've been in 115 degree heat that's been dry and more comfortable than mid-80's and 10000% humidity.

Still need coffee. We've been over this. I don't need to sell you on the idea that cold brew coffee is a great idea for summer months.

So if TJ's comes out with one, I'm gonna try it. So here's Trader Joe's Organic Cold Brew Mocha Nut Latte. Seems to be a break from my normal black brew - not the worst thing in the world, can use some flavor every once in a while, so here's a swig....

....uhhh, what the H-E-double bendi straw is THAT? This isn't coffee. it's not even close. "Brown chalky liquid somewhat resembling coffee" may be a more apt description.

First of all, I didn't see this before sipping, there's liquefied dates in here. As a predominant ingredient, as in, like, right after water. Ugh. Don't get me wrong, I like dates. I've had coffee and dates for breakfast. I like dates with my coffee. I like coffee with my dates. I like going on dates to get coffee. I like drinking coffee to get along with my date, err, I mean, wife. All that being said, I do not need dates in my coffee, especially when it adds this weird chunky pulpy complexion....

...which is only added to by both almond and cashew milk. I have no problem with either individually or mixed together, and prefer over regular cow juice, to be honest, but by themselves they push beverage texture to about its max for me. Inclusion of said dates pushes it over.

There's so much earthy groundlike flavor going on that it's almost easy to overlook the actual coffee aspect. it's there, but not nearly strong enough for my liking. Disclaimer: Usually I drink unadulterated black, so take it for what its worth. There's some vanilla and cinnamon, I guess, and obviously a nutty flavor, but mocha? Not to me. Just weird nutty creamy datey coffeesque stew. Yum. Not.

Not a fan, as you've guessed by now. Sandy enjoys more than I do, but also notes that the chalkchunkpulp issue is a major putoff, enough that despite liking the flavor she stated she will not purchase again. Somehow this warrants a three in her book. Me? Nowhere close to that, and it's not the heat getting to me. It's just not that good, at all. Blah.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Cold Brew Mocha Nut Latte: 4 out of 10 Golden Spoons


  1. I just had this, it's weird, but as a post workout drink, it worked for me. You need to sip it, then shake it, then sip, shake.....

    1. That's too much work, especially AFTER a workout.

    2. And the fact that you should really be having your caffeine PRIOR to your workout, not after.

    3. Actually coffee is good for post work out recovery.

  2. Oh yikes! The texture sounds like a total deal breaker for me. Too bad, the vanilla chai smoothie from last summer- which i think is still in stores now- is delicious but obviously not coffee flavored.

  3. i bought it last night with high hopes. Just gave it a taste and no thank you. I thought it was a bit watered down and in my opinion thought it barely had any coffee taste. i ended up adding a banana and peanut butter to it and turned it more into a shake

  4. Yes, thank you! I thought it sounded promising, so I bought one on a recent trip to TJ's a few months ago. The cashier was intrigued as she hadn't tried it either so I grabbed a couple sample cups from their sample desk and poured us each a bit. She took one sip, shook her head "no, no, no!" and threw the rest in the garbage. Honestly I thought it was pretty disgusting. But doing a search on the internet, many people seem to think it's great. Go figure.


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