Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew

I realize I may be placing myself into a somewhat narrow age bracket here, but do any of you remember Trogdor from Strong Bad's emails on Homestar Runner? Anyone? You know, "burninating the countryside" and all that? If you're not familiar or just feeling a little nostalgic, just go ahead and click that link. You can always come back to see my skills of a blogger here.

Now, see, when not burninating the countryside and/or the peasants, a dragon has to drink something, right? Running around breathing fire seems like a thirsty business. But I can't picture Trogdor drinking just some milk or water or some random juice. Nah. Maybe Mountain Dew. But I'd like to think it'd be a drink that offers a little refreshment while still giving a little bit of a burn on the way down, deep in the back of the throat, where your fire glands or whatever are, because you last thing you want is for those to get extinguished.

It's for this reason I picture Trogdor drinking something much like Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew. This isn't grandad's ol' ginger ale in a fancy lookin' swingcap bottle. It's much more fierce, and to me, requires some easy sippin'. Each sip starts out pleasant enough for most anyone - a little ginger, a little honey, a little sweetness, a little carbonation, all fairly well balanced. But then it descends. All those sweet little niceties give away to dropping a ginger bomb on the tastebuds that's full and rich (like most of TJ's triple ginger products) that leaves a burn on the way down. Sandy likened it to liquefied ginger candy (which, as much as I like ginger, I despised TJ's version) and initially she didn't like it. We're currently hosting a Chinese high school student, Jack, and when he tried it, he kinda shook his head and slowly backed away. The ginger shock was a bit much for me at first, too, but as I continued my glass, my appreciation for it grew. After a while, not that there's cinnamon in it, but there seemed to be a cinnamon-esque quality to it, though admittedly on the stronger side (not quite this strong though). I'd say the purchase of this ($3) comes with an obvious caveat: If you don't really like ginger, stay away. It's kind a deep-cut B side of a band like say the Doors - if you love the Doors, you'll probably love it; if not, then you don't stand a chance.

I actually have come to like it quite a bit. One suggestion to soften the blow: have it with dessert. One night we had it for a drink alongside some strawberry cheesecake, and the ginger brew seemed to be more of a good, crisp palette cleanser than fire liquid.

Plus, this sounds silly, but the bottle's pretty cool, too. Trogdor probably agrees. I feel kinda bad just recycling it, so I'm hoping to figure out a spouse-approvable second use. Not sure if it could be used for home brew or not, but maybe. Maybe some of you have an ideas. Feel free to share at will. 

I naturally forgot to ask the wife for her input, but I can tell she likes it well enough, but not quite as much as I do. Take our score from below and split as you see fit. And oh, no dumping the ginger brew on your keyboards.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Triple Ginger Brew: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Giotto's Panettone Classico

Since panettones were originally holiday treats from Milan, Italy, I decided to write my praises for them in the Italian terza rima poetic style. It's in near-perfect iambic pentameter, too, just FYI. Wanna hear it? Here it goes:

This single panettone looked really great, 

And though the box suggested "eat alone," 

The look on my wife's face said "Heck no, Nate."

I'd suffer wrath from Sonia's shrieks and moans.

We shared this yummy treat from Italy. 

I like it more than all of TJ's scones. 

Its soft and flaky crust was buttery. 

The candied orange peels and raisins did 

Bring such great joy to us, my wife and me. 

Inside the bread the dried fruits deeply hid, 

But plentiful they were, not one alone. 

A grown-up taste, yet sweet enough for kids. 

I recommend this scrumptious panettone 

That comes from off the shelves at Trader Joe's. 

Sonia was actually not as impressed as I was, mostly because she's had panettones before. Kind of like Russ and the poutine I guess. It's much easier to impress us when we don't have anything to compare TJ's product to. Sometimes ignorance is bliss. Sonia thought the orange peels made it taste too citrusy. I'm usually not big on eating orange rinds, but I thought they worked in this instance. 

So yeah, the last two lines in that third stanza aren't entirely true. Ever heard of poetic license? I give the panettone a 4. Sonia gives it a 3.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Poutine

If you're not familiar with poutine, Canada's most popular contribution to gluttonous cuisine, it's simply fries and cheese curds topped with gravy, and occasionally some other stuff. Apparently, with its status as a cult favorite of sorts in Quebec, it's growing in popularity as McDonald's just recently announced they will start selling it Canada-wide. I'm certainly not doggy-paddling across Lake Erie or driving up to Niagara Falls (about four or five hours from the 'burgh) just to try a big ol' McMess, but I've had poutine a few other times, most notably at a pretty sweet little neighborhood restaurant. Although I'm not the biggest fan, I'd like to think that I have some sort of idea of what poutine ought to taste like, so when Sandy spotted a freezer bag full of Trader Joe's Poutine and put on her "OOOOOOOO PLEEEEEASE" face, well, I guess we just had to try.

Not gonna lie: We're both a little disappointed. The disappointment certainly isn't on the scale of something like, say those silly Chicken Parmypops or whatever they were called, but still. Each individual component kinda underwhelms. There's nothing too special about the fries, but to us they were the standout. They're the big, soft inside, slightly crispy outside type, though I wish they got crispier on the outside to withstand the gravy and cheese curds a little better. The gravy? Meh, which seems to be the norm for TJ's gravy. Those cheese curds though...listen, I may not know any better, so if I offend some cheese curd superfans out there, I apologize in advance. But these were not good. The bag kinda touts them as a "mild cheddar" but the curds are much closer in taste to a fresh mozzarella. That part's okay. The part that isn't is, these are big, rubbery, chewy chunks. The size doesn't bother me as much as the texture. If they were a little softer and creamier, the curds would stand a chance of being fantastic. Instead they just seem like cheese blubber, with emphasis on the blubber. Even my cheese-lovin' toddler tried to eat a little teeny piece, made a face, and spit it out. I wouldn't go that far, but I don't blame her either.

Plus, the part that gets me a little is the preparation. It's pretty standard oven-heating for the fries. But the cheese curds and gravy? You're supposed to keep them in the bag, heat a small pot of water, put them in the pot on the stove while continuing to heat. Most other TJ's dishes that come with a frozen packet of sauce or whatever don't have you actually "cook" the packet, and there's something about doing so that gives me the skeevy-jeevies a little bit. I'll trust that they're BPA-free, so that's not quite it. But there is something there.

Anyways, as I've stated, although we're not poutine experts, we're underwhelmed. I'd go as far to say that if this were my first experience with poutine ever, I'd be fairly unlikely to try again. That's the blessing and curse of TJ's - they make so many "exotic" dishes so well that when one misses the mark, it seems overly disappointing. If you really want to try poutine, scrounge up a couple extra bucks (TJ's version cost $4, we got "fancy poutine" for $8) and find some on a local menu somewhere, and probably skip the McD's too. Sandy kinda agrees and gave 'em a two, maybe more out of pity than much else. I'll go one and a half.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Poutine: 3.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons