Trader Joe's Organic Peach Fruit Spread

Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery.

That's what they say, anyway. I always assume that's what's going on when someone does something I'm doing. As a school kid, back when I had a full head of blond hair, I got a spike. A week later, half my class showed up at homeroom with pointy Bart Simpson haircuts and tubes of hair gel in hand. What a trendsetter I am, I thought to myself.

Or a slightly more recent example: one day I brought a Trader Joe's brand beverage to work. And two days later, some co-workers followed suit and brought TJ's drinks along, too. Same thing happened with cookies, sauces, pastries... Cheers, friends. Great minds think alike.

I mean, they might have been making fun of me in some underhanded, passive-aggressive way. But I had no reason to think that, nor would I have cared even if it were the case. I'll always just assume the best, refer to the first line of this post, and carry on with business as usual.

But what about when somebody imitates themself? I mean, isn't that what we have here? Trader Joe's already offered us a pretty stellar fruit spread made with real peaches. If it ain't broke, then why try to fix it?

Could be a 3rd party supplier issue. Could be people were scared off by the "Bellini" part of the product. I mean, it did contain real white wine, but not even enough to make mention of an alcohol content. Whatever the reason, I say, if you're going to imitate yourself, keep the product at least as good as it was and hopefully make a few improvements.

Organic peaches. Organic cane sugar. I guess those are upgrades. No Prosecco. Whether that's an improvement or not depends upon your perspective, I suppose.

One thing some people might like that I wasn't particularly thrilled with: bigger peach chunks. The peaches in the previous iteration were pureed. There are big wads of pure peach here that simply don't want to spread onto toast smoothly. Again, some people might not mind that. I guess it works for pie filling or smoothie ingredients.

Flavor-wise, the two products are very similar. You could taste the white wine before, which I liked. This flavor is more purely peach. Neither product was overly sweet, but this one might even be a smidge less sugary. I'd probably settle on the same score for both if it weren't for those large, slightly stringy peach masses scattered throughout this jar. I'll go half a star lower. Sonia will keep her score the same, stating that she likes it just as much and at $2.49 for the jar, it's significantly less expensive.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Instant Cold Brew Coffee

Coffee demands honesty, so let's just get right to it:

Is there any truthful way I can persuade you that Trader Joe's Instant Cold Brew Coffee is, somehow, miraculously, an an actual legitimately good coffee option that'd make you want to either skip the drive thru, walk by the neighborhood shop or stash away your Mason jars and clear that shelf in your fridge?

HAHAHAHAHAHA. No way. 

It's not great coffee, by any stretch. To complicate things, it's not like there's an actual, tried and true recipe for success here. It's: grab a spoon, throw a scoopful-ish into 12oz of cold water, stir, sip. Too weak? Add more coffee. Too strong? Add more water. Sip. Repeat as necessary. I mean, sure, that's a way to do things, but when I'm tired and in a rush that necessitates resorting to instant friggerin' coffee, I have neither the time no the mental facilities to go full out Bill Nye and experiment my way into something resembling a passable cuppa joe. And pardon me for assuming, but that's likely a statement we'd share. Reliable, decent coffee is what we want and demand, and while there's probably a way to figure out how to make one with this particular cannister of powder, is it really worth the effort? 

I will give it this, though. I am somewhat of a cold brew snob. Why add to these hot, humid summer by swallowing down a steaming cup of coffee? Ugh. Many cold brews I have tasted, whether from a shop, a chain, or a prepackaged type deal, have had this unnecessarily bittersweet bite. Some even taste like tin. Yuck. The TJ's instant cold brew possesses none of that. It's just plain ol' boring coffee, kinda earthy and flat. But not flat earthy cuz that's just weird.  It lacks much of any description and is neither bold nor weak, neither sweet nor overly bitter, neither here nor there. I mean, it's not like that great cup of nitro cold brew from the neighborhood coffee shop, but it's not dirt and water either. It's just coffee, admittedly closer to Sanka than Starbucks, but still. Doctoring it up with cream and sweeteners may help if you're into that kinda thing. I'm not, so your mileage may vary. 

I'll keep it stashed away at my work desk, because if there's a true affront to coffee here, it's the work pot. Yikes. Need a change up every once in a while and this, not entirely unfortunately, will have to do. My lovely bride isn't going to bother with it and I don't blame her. I'll be nice and not completely trash the coffee - I mean, it is instant coffee, it's not like those Arabica beans chose this destiny for themselves, I'm not gonna hate on their existence, and at the end they still give me caffeine. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Instant Cold Brew Coffee: 4 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Sparkling Lemonade

Few things are as refreshing as lemonade on a hot summer day, especially after a strenuous activity like mowing the lawn. You wipe the sweat off your brow, walk into the air conditioning, and fire up the kettle to boil a nice piping hot cup of lemonade, or in this case, sparkling lemonade.

Oh, but wait... This particular product is subtly recommending that you consume it cold. Isn't that odd? The box plainly reads "Best Enjoyed CHILLED." Remove one of the slim cans from outer packaging and it too reads "Best Enjoyed CHILLED." Glance at the spiel on the reverse side of the can, and there's another line reminding consumers to "Keep it cold..." Even the website says "We recommend serving Trader Joe's Sparkling Lemonade ice cold..."

Does this stuff spontaneously combust if you heat it up like a normal mug of summer time lemonade? If consumed at room temperature, will it cause internal hemorrhaging or something like that?

Alright, alright. Fine, I'll take the advice of the experts and put these in the fridge for a while. Maybe I'll even throw in an ice cube or two. It's apparently vitally important that this product remain absolutely frigid.

And you know what, it's not bad that way. It's almost as if I've been drinking lemonade wrong all these years. Cold lemonade. You heard it here first, folks. Way better than hot lemonade, even with marshmallows on top.

Okay, I'll tone down the sarcasm for the rest of this post. Promise. With only three ingredients, it's not hard to imagine what this product tastes like. There's carbonated water, sugar, and concentrated lemon juice. It errs on the side of "not too sweet" at least compared to most other lemonade beverages I've tried.

It's mildly tart and lemony, as you'd expect. It tastes very natural. The carbonation is a nice touch. I wouldn't have minded it with a tad more of the sweet and tart elements. The flavor's not particularly intense. It's more in the direction of "light and refreshing," which isn't a bad thing at all.

I think it was $3.99 for four cans. Might be a repeat purchase. Four stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.