Trader Joe's Garlic Shrimp Chips

Imported from Denmark, Trader Joe's Shrimp Chips are light, airy, crispy, and full of shrimp and garlic flavor. Parsley, dill, and chives round out the impressive seasoning blend. They're made with tapioca flour, but they have a look and feel not unlike that of puffed rice—like rice crisps or even rice cakes.

They're a tad sweeter than I might have guessed, but the savory and salty flavors balance it out nicely. The taste is honestly quite addicting. Sonia and I polished off the entire three and a half serving bag in well under a day, but it's well within the realm of possibility that two adults could demolish the bag in a single sitting.

The nutrition info is satisfactory, considering the relatively indulgent taste and texture of this snack and the fact that you can have 30 chips per serving. These would go great with an American lager or pilsner if you're looking to pair them with a cold one. I think one of Trader Joe's Sparkling Fruit Beverages would work nicely, too, if you're going the non-alcoholic route.

The spiel on the back of the bag says you can pair them with a spicy, creamy dip. I think I'd like to try them with a sweet chili hummus or something along those lines. Sonia insists they should stay unsullied by condiments of any kind. I must admit, they're pretty amazing just straight out of the bag.

Snacktacular. It's conceivable you won't like these if you don't like the taste of shrimp or garlic...or if you're averse to the puffed tapioca texture. But Sonia and I would both absolutely buy Trader Joe's Shrimp Chips again. I hope they stick around at TJ's. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight and a half out of ten stars from me.

Tapioca is naturally gluten free, so I would think this whole product would be gluten free, but it is not labeled as such. Maybe someone can enlighten us in the comments.

Bottom line: 8.75 out of 10.

In the Haulway, May 2026

Our first Trader Joe's haul video did pretty well on YouTube—far better than our average food review—so it looks like we'll be recording the goodies from our grocery runs as we unpack them for the foreseeable future. There's a bunch of interesting stuff at TJ right now. We picked up dozens of brand new items on this go-around, as well as some classics that we haven't revisited for a while, such as the Gone Berry Crazy! We grabbed all kinds of stuff from cookies to shrimp chips, the latest mini sheet cake to key lime pie wine.

Just like last time, let us know if you have any requests in terms of what we review first. Please subscribe to our YouTube channel if you haven't already and drop us a comment if you have any strong feelings about these products. Thanks for watching!

Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Sonia is definitely more the coffee person in our house, and she most definitely appreciated Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate more than I did. I don't have any major problems with it other than I think it's a bit stingy with the vanilla flavor. The beautiful wifey thinks it's just about right in terms of the boldness of the coffee and the balance of vanilla.

Of course, you have to dilute the coffee. It wants two parts water or milk or milk alternative and just one part concentrate. And most folks will want to add sweetener of some kind. We used Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Foam (review upcoming) and we also tried it with plain old brown sugar. It worked either way.

The concentrate itself was smooth and surprisingly mellow for such a dark-looking brew. No weird aftertaste, no burnt bitterness, just a solid cup of cold coffee that tasted decent and perked us right up. Sonia especially liked how easy it was to customize depending on her mood and caffeine needs.

See also Trader Joe's Maple Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's French Roast Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

Trader Joe's Coconut Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

and Trader Joe's Original Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate

$8.99 for the bottle. It's kosher, shelf-stable until opened, refrigerate afterwards. Makes eight 12 oz cups of coffee. Sonia would definitely buy it again. I'll throw out seven out of ten stars for Trader Joe's Vanilla Cold Brew Coffee Concentrate. Sonia gives it eight and a half out of ten. You should pay more attention to her score since she's way more into java.

Sonia's score: 8.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 7 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio

Ten bucks gets you three tomato-based pasta sauces imported from Italy. Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio is a limited-time release made with Pugliese tomatoes, and it features 1) a puttanesca sauce with olives, capers, and anchovies 2) a datterino cherry tomato sauce and 3) a tomato and roasted vegetable pasta sauce. Both Sonia and I liked the puttanesca sauce best, but we'll break down our observations of all three tomatoey toppings.

So...puttanesca is a funny word. The first part of it is quite similar to a not-so-nice word in Spanish that Sonia and I are familiar with, but the root word is also used in Italian. Apparently, the sauce is, in fact, referring to a style of cooking associated with women of ill repute. There are many theories floating about that attempt to explain the sauce's origins and its scandalous name, but both the beautiful wifey and I found it to have the most pleasant and interesting texture and flavor.

It's the heartiest of the three if only by virtue of the chunks of veggies floating through the mixture. There are plenty of green Chalkidiki olive slices and Kalamata olive slices, along with tiny bits of anchovies. I didn't notice any capers in our jar, but they are listed in the ingredients. The flavor is very salty and pungent. Like the other two, it's got plenty of tomato flavor, but it's the richest, earthiest, most complex flavor by a good margin.

Next up, we've got a sauce that's highlighting a particular species of cherry tomato known as the datterino. I thought for sure the beautiful wifey would enjoy this one the best since she's an outspoken tomatophile. I felt like this had the most pure, bright tomato flavor of the three sauces, but since I'm not really a fan of raw tomato, I didn't really gravitate towards it. Surprisingly this is also Sonia's least favorite of the trio, citing a one-dimensional flavor profile as its weakness. "It feels too plain," she stated. I don't disagree.

Finally, the Italian Tomato and Roasted Vegetable Pasta Sauce. This one actually tasted like roasted veggies and had a nice garlicky essence underneath everything. The zucchini, eggplant, and peppers definitely added to the flavor and the texture of the sauce, though we both think it could have benefited by doubling or tripling the amount. For both of us, this was the second best sauce in the pack.

None of the sauces were particularly thick in terms of the density of the liquid, but each had a nice natural tomato flavor and an authentic Italian spice blend. We'd pick this product up again just for the variety and the value. $3.33 per jar is a decent price point for a true European import and the presentation is nice. It'd make a decent gift. Let's get to our final scores for Trader Joe's Italian Tomato Pasta Sauce Trio.

Trader Giotto's Tomato Puttanesca Sauce with Olives, Anchovies & Capers: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Datterino Cherry Tomato & Roasted Garlic Pasta Sauce: 7 out of 10.

Trader Giotto's Italian Tomato & Roasted Vegetable Pasta Sauce: 7.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon

It's important to note that this crispy dried watermelon is, indeed, an entirely different product than Trader Joe's Organic Watermelon Jerky. It is also worth mentioning that, while the review posted of the watermelon jerky on this particular blog is a fairly positive take on the offering, that it was penned by former contributor Russ. My own personal sentiments of that product were not nearly as favorable. I found that stuff to be revolting in both flavor and texture.

While the jerky was fibrous and leathery, Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon is brittle and snaps apart with a satisfying click. It is indeed crispy and crunchy. The little pieces, when strewn about upon a plate, make a sound not unlike tiny plastic toys or the building elements of a model airplane. It's a unique texture, for sure, but it's far more pleasant than the frustratingly chewy mouthfeel of the watermelon jerky.

The taste is surprisingly close to that of real watermelon. It's shockingly sweet. And while there is a good bit of sugar in the single serving bag, 100% of it is natural sugar. It's literally just the sweetness of the watermelon magically transformed into a crystalline candy format.

It tastes like real fruit, but it also tastes like candy. Moreover, it feels like candy. At 150 calories for the entire bag, it's such a perfect snack for summer and warm weather. If you like this product as much as we do, we also recommend checking out Trader Joe's Watermelon Freeze Dried Candies.

$2.99 for 1.41 oz of Trader Joe's Crispy Dried Watermelon in a resealable bag. Product of Thailand. One and a half pounds of watermelon were used in each bag. Sonia has experimented with adding it to yogurt and ice cream and even rimming her cocktail glass with crumbled crispy watermelon, but we both agree it's best straight out of the bag as a light, sweet summertime snack. We'd both buy it again. Eight out of ten stars from me. Eight and a half stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burgers

Nate's Notes: This review was originally posted eleven years ago this month. Sonia and I decided we'd gone too long without a Quinoa Cowboy Veggie Burger and decided to revisit the product, make a video review of it, and bump this old post. Turns out the quality is still there, the product is still great, and the price has only increased by 30¢ in more than a decade! It's gone from $3.69 for four veggie patties to $3.99. Our score from May 2015 still stands: 8.5/10 really darn good. And finally, I'll drop these air fryer instructions which are not included on the packaging: 400°F for 10-12 minutes, flip halfway. 

Thanks to the Hawaiian-themed grocery store called Trader Joe's, vegetarian cowboys are now a thing. What vegetarianism and cowboys have to do with the overall tropical island theme of the store, I'm not quite certain. But we've seen at least one other vegetarian cowboy-themed product, not to mention candy fit for cowboys and cowgirls, too.

I guess there's something earthy about cowboys—and there's something earthy about vegetarians and vegans as well. TJ's is just tying that all together for us. Or maybe they're aiming to challenge that stereotype of vegetarians being weaker than meat-eaters (I don't subscribe to that notion, by the way) by uniting it with the rugged machismo of the old western frontier. Regardless of all that, I'm fairly certain that more urban-dwelling hipsters will wind up eating this product than actual cattle-ropin' cowboys, if only because there aren't many Trader Joe's in the middle of cattle country.

Yet still, it's an amazing product. It's like a spicy black bean burger with chunky salsa cooked right into the "meat." It's not really one of those fake meat burgers that's desperately trying to taste like beef, so if it's a true burger you're craving, I say look elsewhere. But if you're adventurous and wanting something new, I'd encourage you to check this out. It takes the whole veggie burger thing one step further in terms of taste and texture. Not only is there quinoa mixed in with the black bean base, but there are chunks of peppers, corn, and whole black beans in the mix. It's a complex, hearty flavor with a slightly spicy southwestern vibe. I ate mine with a slice of asiago cheese and it blended perfectly. I mused about which condiments, if any, to throw on, and decided to eat it plain in the end. I'm a big fan of ketchup and mustard on almost anything that calls itself a burger, but in this case, I'd add a bit of extra hot salsa, if anything—but that's just my opinion.

We cooked ours on the stovetop in a tiny pool of olive oil. It came out firmer and crispier on the outside than on the inside, and overall, the product was a bit soft. If not held together by a bun, it might have fallen apart very easily. There's more substance in the peppers, corn, and beans than in the base of the burger itself—but still, I can't complain, since the aforementioned chunky ingredients were plentiful throughout.

All in all, it's not a great approximation of an actual beef hamburger, particularly in the texture department, but a delicious vegetarian lunch or dinner nonetheless. At $3.69 for four patties, it's a good value also. I'm always on the lookout for something unique and new, and this burger didn't disappoint. All you rugged vegetarian cowboys, saddle up!

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites and Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites

So a brand called Bobo's makes little oat bites very similar to these, and for some reason both Sonia and I remembered Bobo's being bigger, but apparently they're the same size. We must have been thinking of Bobo's Oat Bars. At any rate, these whole grain oat-based bites from Trader Joe's are about the size of a golf ball and they come in two different flavors: PB&J and raspberry.

Weirdly, the raspberry one had a nicer texture than the PB&J version. It was a tad softer. While the PB&J one does indeed show peanut butter in the ingredients, there is no actual cache of peanut butter in the center of the oat bite. It appears the peanut butter is commingled with the rolled oats throughout the tiny snack. There is, however, a dollop of fruit filling in the center of both flavors. It's strawberry jelly in the PB&J kind. Both Sonia and I think it would have been stronger with a glob of peanut butter in the center along with the fruity jam.

Furthermore, the raspberry filling tasted better than the strawberry filling to both of us. It reminded me of the raspberry dip that comes with Trader Joe's PB&J Snack Duo. The flavor of the raspberry confection "popped" a lot more than its strawberry counterpart.

Sonia, ever the culinary visionary, immediately suggested crumbling these little oat orbs over a bowl of Greek yogurt, which honestly might be their highest calling. As is, they straddle that line between snack and dessert, but broken up into something creamy and tangy? Now we’re talking about unlocking their full potential. I could totally see them moonlighting as a lazy man’s parfait situation: minimal effort, maximum perceived sophistication.

At the end of the day, they’re a decent grab if you’re already cruising the aisles and feeling oat-curious, but they don’t quite ascend into must-have territory. The raspberry ones flirt with greatness, the PB&J ones just kind of linger in the background. Not a bad snack by any stretch—just one that leaves you thinking about how it could’ve been a little bolder, a little gooier, a little more memorable.

$3.99 for six little oat bites. Would probably buy the raspberry version again. The PB&J one isn't awful by any means, but Sonia and I both preferred the razzle dazzle—and I'm a huge fan of peanut butter. We both give seven and a half stars to Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites. I give Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites six and a half stars and the beautiful wifey will go a half star lower.

Trader Joe's Raspberry Oat Bites: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's PB&J Oat Bites: 6.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Korean Bugak Sticky Rice and Seaweed Crisps

Never had bugak before. Apparently, it's pretty popular in Korea. Speaking of Korea, this product is a bona fide South Korean import. $3.29 gets you 1.76 oz of the crispy, crunchy snack in a non-resealable bag.

We lost our minds over the fact the bag wasn't resealable. Fortunately, Trader Joe's Sticky Rice & Seaweed Crisps didn't last long enough to get stale. I really enjoyed them and the beautiful wifey admitted they grew on her by the end of the bag.

The product is sweeter than you might expect. Sticky rice can be sweet, so I'm not sure why we were so surprised about the sweetness. I mean, it's not candy sweet by any means, but it's sweeter than most other seaweed snacks we've tried. See: Trader Joe's Spicy Tempura Seaweed Snack and Trader Joe's Wasabi Roasted Seaweed Snack, among others.

You can also taste sesame seeds, onion powder, and the titular seaweed, though no single flavor dominates. There's a really great umami essence to these snacks. The bag suggests using them as scoops for tuna, so we whipped up some tuna salad and did just that. The pairing was absolutely perfect. You can also add them to rice bowls. Sonia wanted to toss them in soup. And they're perfectly snackable right out of the bag.

As nice as the flavor is, the texture is even better. It's so perfectly crunchable and crisp, yet not hard at all. It's got a very satisfying consistency.

I'd definitely buy it again, and I think Sonia would be on board for a repurchase as well. I'm gonna throw out eight out of ten stars on Trader Joe's Korean Bugak Sticky Rice and Seaweed Crisps with Sesame Seeds and Sea Salt, but I will say that I doubt the average American palate will appreciate this quite as much as I do. If you know you enjoy seaweed, then give it a whirl. The beautiful wifey is down for seven and a half stars.

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Spicy Spuds

$4.49 gets you 20 oz of frozen taters imported from France. Nothing says French cuisine like spicy potatoes, amirite? At any rate, they're pretty good. Salty, savory, and spicy, they're decent as a standalone side, or you can toss 'em into stuff like taco bowls.

That's what we did. Along with bison, avocado, cheese, and Trader Joe's Corn & Chile Tomato-Less Salsa, these potent potatoes served as the main heat source for our Tex-Mex inspired taco bowls. They're crispy on the outside, fluffy and tender on the inside, and they're perfectly bite-sized.

You can taste the spicy stuff like cayenne pepper and paprika, but it's all balanced out with parmesan cheese, lime, and onion—along with the natural flavor of potato, as well. Like I mentioned above, they're perfectly satisfying on their own. If you're vegetarian or doing Meatless Monday or something like that, these would make a great filling for potato tacos. Just add some greens, cheese, and salsa to tortillas and you'd be in business.

Breakfast hash? Done. Tateriffic nachos? Absolutely. Toss ‘em alongside some scrambled eggs and you've got a hearty breakfast for the whole family. They crisp up beautifully in the oven or air fryer, and unlike some frozen potato situations, they don’t go from golden to sad in a blink.

If I had one nitpick—and you know I always do—it’s that the spice level plays things a bit safe. There’s flavor, no doubt, but heat-seekers might find themselves reaching for a backup plan in the form of hot sauce or chili flakes. Not a dealbreaker by any stretch, just something to note if you were expecting these to melt your face off like a dare gone wrong. Still, for a freezer aisle find, they punch above their weight class and they're the perfect timesaver if you're meal prepping and need some fried potatoes that are already seasoned and ready to go.

In the end, I'll give Trader Joe's Spicy Spuds seven and a half out of ten stars. The beautiful wifey will throw out eight out of ten. We'd both buy this again. May the Fourth be with you and happy Cinco de Mayo!

Bottom line: 7.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Ink & Thistle 12 Year Highland Single Malt Scotch Whisky

Imported from the Scottish Highlands, where some of my ancestors lived many generations ago, this 12 year old single malt Scotch will run you about $35 at Trader Joe's. They also released an 18 year old Scotch by the same name—Ink & Thistle—around the same time this product appeared on shelves, though I'm a bit foggy as to whether they're both supplied by the same distillery. This product was bottled by Hamish Robertson & Co.

Wish I could say I'm familiar with that name. I'm not really a whisky guy when it comes right down to it, but I still like to see what's out there without shelling out too much coin. I feel like eventually I'll find something that's truly transcendent...or at least worthy of a repurchase.

So what does this stuff actually taste like? I’ll do my best impression of someone who owns a Glencairn glass and uses phrases like “peat levels” unironically. It’s pretty approachable overall—some light honey and vanilla vibes, a little caramel, maybe a hint of fruit if you go looking for it. Nothing too aggressive, nothing too weird. It tastes like it’s trying to be a good introduction to Scotch without scaring anyone off.

You also get a bit of that classic Highland thing going on: slightly floral, a touch earthy, and just the faintest suggestion of smoke, like a campfire that already went out and now you’re just smelling someone’s jacket the next day. The finish is smooth enough, a little sweet, maybe a tiny bit of spice, and then it politely exits without making a big scene.

Sonia and I both give Trader Joe's Ink & Thistle 12 Year Single Malt Scotch Whisky seven and a half out of ten. It’s not completely blowing my mind, but it also doesn’t make me regret my life choices. For ~$35, it’s a solid way to dip your toe into Scotch without committing to a whole personality change. Also, I have no idea if it's still available anymore. This bottle'd been sitting in our whisky cellar (read: basement) for some time until this past weekend. Thanks for reading.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Organic Guava Fruit Spread

There are more recipes using this fruit spread on the internet than you can shake a stick at. They're doing everything from cocktails to mocktails to milkshakes, cookies, and cakes using Trader Joe's Guava Spread. Here's what we did with it:

First up, we ate it straight from the jar like savages. It's quite a bit better than I was expecting it to be on its own: very sweet, very tart and tangy. It's smooth and fairly thick—fruity, floral, and exotic.

Next, Sonia made overnight oats with Trader Joe's Organic Guava Fruit Spread and Trader Joe's Organic Chia Seeds, among other things. Jump to 2:21 in our video review to hear the recipe in full, and how she made her culinary magic happen. This puddingy oatmeal was wholesome, hearty, creamy, and surprisingly delicious.

After that, we made a very simple smoothie from a single 6 oz can of Dole pineapple juice, two tablespoons of this guava spread, and a few ice cubes. We blended it until the fruit juice whipped up nicely and the ice cubes turned to slush. That combo was shockingly good. We'll definitely make it again once it gets hot. We're thinking some added rum might turn it into a decent pineapple guava daiquiri.

Finally, we had some sourdough English muffins with a bit of butter and this fruit spread. It's very similar to the vibe you get when you slather a piece of toast with strawberry jam. It's sweet and a bit tart. Yet this selection adds an unexpected tropical twist to the taste. It's good, but then I expected it to be good on toast. Those other experiments were bigger pleasant surprises to me.

We'd absolutely repurchase this product. We'd love to try some shortbread thumbprint cookies or turnovers using Trader Joe's Organic Guava Spread as the filling. I don't think this jar will last us long enough to attempt either of those on this go-around.

Certified organic. Found with the other condiments and spreads. $2.99 for the 10.5 oz jar. This exotic treat is imported from the tropical island nation of...Canada. Don't ask me. Eight and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. I'll throw out eight out of ten on Trader Joe's Guava Spread.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Meyer Lemon & Cream Yogurt

Trader Joe’s Meyer Lemon & Cream Yogurt sounds like it should taste like sunshine in a cup: bright, creamy, maybe a little indulgent. Instead, it's tart yogurt paired with sour lemon. Sure, there's a good bit of sugar in it, but I didn't feel like it showed up in the flavor profile.

Look, I love lemon. Lemon bars? Elite. Lemon curd? Dangerous. Lemon cake? I'm there. Lemon in snacks and desserts is usually a cheat code for deliciousness. But this yogurt forgets one crucial thing: balance. Yogurt is already tangy. Lemon is aggressively tangy. Put them together without enough sweetness to rein things in, and you’ve got a bit of a tartness overload.

The texture, to be fair, is perfectly fine—creamy, smooth, no weird chalkiness or separation. Structurally sound yogurt. For me, this lands squarely in the “I’ll finish it because I bought it” category, not the “I need six more immediately” tier. Not offensive, just not the lemony dream I was hoping for. It's like it wants to be lemon meringue, but it's simply not sweet enough to be considered a treat. I know, yogurt is supposed to be healthy. But I've had plenty of flavors of yogurt with less added sugar that tasted much better than this offering. Just off the top of my head, Trader Joe's Honey Crisp Apple Cinnamon Greek Yogurt would fall into that class.

Now Sonia, clearly the more optimistic member of this household, came in with a completely different vibe. She liked the lemon and cream combo, saying it struck a nice balance (we may need to recalibrate our taste buds). She did make a strong point: this would probably shine even more as a Greek yogurt, where the natural tartness would actually complement the lemon instead of competing with it.

She also had some genuinely great upgrade ideas: throw in diced walnuts or crushed gluten-free graham crackers and suddenly you’ve got a legit dessert situation. Or use it as a base for chia pudding or overnight oats—honestly, that’s a power move. Yes, it’s lower in protein than Greek yogurt, but that’s fixable with a scoop of protein powder if that's your thing.

If you like your yogurt very lemon-forward and don’t mind a heavy dose of tang, this might be more your speed than it was for me. If you’re expecting a creamy, sweet, lemon-dessert vibe…proceed with caution. $2.99 for four cups. Kosher. Sonia would buy again, while I would not.

Sonia's score: 7.5 out of 10.

Nathan's score: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Style Pretzel Twists

Apparently, Trader Joe's Sweet Onion Pretzel Twists are a knockoff of a product from a brand called Stellar. Never had the Stellar twists, but I'm anxious to try them now. We snack on Dot's Pretzels from time to time and really enjoy their honey mustard offering in particular.

If there's any one flavor that sounds even more potentially delicious than honey mustard, it's sweet onion. And boy does this product hit the mark. It's sweet, it's oniony, and wouldn't you know it? The bread part of the pretzel is pretty tasty, too—almost buttery to my tongue.

There's just enough crunch to make the twists snacky and satisfying, and the wheaty goodness comes through in the flavor profile, as well. Also, they're not too hard. They crumble in a very pleasant way and there's almost a soft pretzel feel as you chew the product.

What surprised me most here is how balanced everything is. Sweet onion could easily go off the rails—too sugary, too artificial, too “chip dust in a bag.” But this walks a nice line. The sweetness never overpowers, and the onion flavor doesn’t veer into that sharp, lingering bite that sticks with you for hours. It’s mellow, rounded, and honestly kind of addictive in that “just one more handful” way that turns into five.

They also feel fairly versatile for a pretzel snack. You could crush these up and throw them on a salad for some sweet-savory crunch, or pair them with a dip if you’re feeling adventurous. We tried them straight out of the bag and had zero complaints, but I could absolutely see these holding their own on a snack board next to cheeses, cured meats, or even something spicy to contrast the sweetness.

$3.69 for the 12 oz bag. Kosher. We wish it didn't have canola oil, but even still, Sonia and I would both buy this product again. Nine out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey. Eight out of ten stars from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi

Despite my feeble attempts to avoid reading or hearing others' opinions of certain products before trying them, I'd heard quite a few people stating how amazing Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi was before trying it myself. In some cases, that will push me in the direction of a biased positive opinion, not wanting to be the guy who says it's not that great.

In other cases, I'll get my hopes up. I'll expect something delicious to the point that if the product isn't over-the-top amazing, that I'll be disappointed to some degree if it's just okay. It's an "expectations vs reality" type problem.

I think the latter case is what happened here. This product...kinda tastes like dirt to me. It's like cookies and cream without the sweetness and only a fraction of the creaminess. If I were writing an ultra positive review, I suppose I'd be describing the flavor as earthy and nutty—which it is, to be fair. I might point to the product's restraint and subtle flavor as a plus.

Both Sonia and I love sesame. We like sesame seeds on breads and crackers, we like it as a topping for rice bowls and salads, and we enjoy other sesame derivatives like sesame oil and tahini. We're both even fans of crunchy sesame candy. If you're not sure what we're talking about, just do an internet search. There are dozens of brands that sell it now and plenty of recipes if you want to DIY. That candy tastes quite a bit like sesame...and so does this mochi. But I think that candy has a honey sweetness that balances the sesame's nuttiness better than the sugar in this handheld ice cream treat.

That's just me giving my honest opinion. I'm surprised the beautiful wifey agreed with me here. I think it's a flavor that could grow on both of us. It's unique. It's interesting. It's just more unusual to my palate than I was expecting it to be. Probably wouldn't buy Trader Joe's Black Sesame Mochi again, but I'd like to try other brands of black sesame ice cream just to compare. Blood Orange Mochi will still reign supreme in our household for the time being.

Found in the frozen aisle. Kosher. Gluten free. $4.99 for six mochi.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Patagonian Scallops

Scallops are one of my favorite foods of all time. As a youngster, the family would often head to the local Bonanza Steakhouse at the mall for weekend outings and special occasions. Their fried scallops were a favorite of mine. Since then, I've sampled scallops from fancy restaurants in various cities around the country. The absolute best I can remember came from The Warehouse in Marina del Rey. That scallop was about as big as a baseball and came served in a gourmet butter sauce.

The scallops I'd grown up with at Bonanza, on the other hand, were about the size of golf balls. And these "petite and sweet" little morsels from Trader Joe's are roughly the size of marbles after cooking. They're very tiny on the tongue, but they pack a big flavor.

Imported from the Patagonia region of Argentina, these teeny scallops are quite possibly the second best scallops I've ever sampled. They've got that same rich, buttery flavor that other scallops tend to have, but these are sweeter and more delicate. They're ten bucks for the four serving bag. Bonus: each serving is only 80 calories and flaunts 13 grams of protein.

Sonia did a great job of pan-searing these little guys, with a bit of help from Gordon Ramsay. They were thoroughly thawed, patted dry between two layers of paper towels, and then tossed into butter and oil for 90 seconds on each side. We made sure we had a temp of 145°F+ and they came out lightly crispy on the outside and tender yet slightly firm on the inside.

That first batch had nothing but a bit of butter and it was amazing. The next batch was fried in a butter mixture with garlic and lemon. We also used the garlic and lemon sauce on our radiatore pasta. This was one of the best, most luxurious meals we've ever had from Trader Joe's in our nearly 16 years of reviewing their products.

I'm sure it's quite easy to mess up the timing on the cooking, especially with such small scallops, but the value and flavor are absolutely there in Trader Joe's Patagonian Scallops. We'd both buy these again in a heartbeat. As much as we loved the recently-reviewed Black Cod Sablefish with Miso Marinade, we think this product is even better. The beautiful wifey will give these nine out of ten stars. I'll go with a very rare nine and a half.

Bottom line: 9.25 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Crunchy Corn Kernels

I mean, we pretty much assumed these would be like chocolate covered Corn Nuts and that's pretty much what they are. If that sounds good to you, you might like 'em. I thought they'd be kinda weird...and they are.

Not the worst thing I've sampled from TJ's, but not the best either. Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Crunchy Corn Kernels are actually imported from Colombia. The resealable bag will run you about four bucks. There's an interesting balance of bitter, sweet, and salty in terms of the flavor.

Texture-wise, the kernels aren't as hard as I thought they might be. They're brittle and crunchy, and they break apart easily enough without shattering violently. Sonia and I both have sensitive teeth and neither of us were bothered by the mouthfeel at all. The chocolate is smooth and there's a fairly generous coating of it on the outside of each morsel.

For us, it's just something that was interesting to try. Don't think we'd buy this product again but it's not like we're returning the bag for a refund either. Sonia and I both agree we'd try a milk chocolate version if they ever offered one. Seven out of ten stars from the beautiful wifey for Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Crunchy Corn Kernels. I'm down for six and a half.

Bottom line: 6.75 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Rice Pudding

Trader Joe’s Rice Pudding is one of those quietly divisive refrigerated desserts that immediately exposes a cultural split you didn’t know was sitting at the family dinner table. Growing up, nobody I knew was exactly racing toward rice pudding with excitement. It was always kind of the sad cafeteria cousin of real dessert—soft, beige, and emotionally ambiguous. Meanwhile, all the Hispanic kids were over there living their best lives with arroz con leche made by somebody's abuelita, and it tasted like pure joy with a dusting of cinnamon.

This version from Trader Joe’s lands firmly in the “white people rice pudding” category, and I say that with love and a spoon in my hand. It’s very vanilla-forward, very sweet, and noticeably missing that warm cinnamon hug that usually turns rice pudding into something transcendent. The rice itself is plentiful, leaning starchy and chewy in a way that makes you feel like you’re eating something substantial rather than just dessert-ish air. It’s not trying to be fancy, and honestly that’s part of its charm. It’s refrigerated, ready-to-eat, and $2.99 for four cups. So...it's uber-practical, if nothing else.

What’s surprising is that the overall flavor is genuinely solid. It’s sweet without being cloying, creamy without being heavy, and weirdly comforting in a lowkey kind of way. Sonia and her mom, who are both very much team tradicional arroz con leche with cinnamon, raisins, and generational confidence, both absolutely love it, which says a lot. I like it too, but I have to admit it becomes significantly better with a generous sprinkle of cinnamon.

In short, Trader Joe’s Rice Pudding isn't trying to reinvent dessert. It’s just quietly existing, doing its job, and showing up consistently for $2.99. I’d absolutely buy it again. It’s an eight out of ten affair for this guy. The beautiful wifey will give it a very enthusiastic eight and a half.

Bottom line: 8.25 out of 10.