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Thursday, January 5, 2023

Trader Joe's Small Batch Vodka

Just a quickie for today: Small Batch Vodka. Made with corn from the heart of Wisconsin and limestone-filtered water, this vodka is distilled ten times. Says so right on the bottle.

I remember hearing what might be an urban legend: if you take cheap vodka and run it through a Brita or Pūr type water filter—one that uses carbon or charcoal to cleanse water—you can make more expensive-tasting vodka.

Of course, you ruin your water filters. And they're not cheap. So the money you save by buying cheap vodka is moot point if you're going through expensive Brita filters left and right. I digress.

The point is that Trader Joe's, or rather their buddies at Monroe Brewing Company, have gone ahead and saved you the time and money of purifying your cheap vodka 10 times because they did it themselves.

I've had a few shots of really cheap vodka in my day, and I gotta say, this liquor is much better than the bottom of the barrel stuff. It certainly does have a "clean" taste to it. You'd hope so since it's been distilled 10 times.

The price? A buck for each round of distillation. $9.99 for a fifth. 44% ABV. Pretty darn good vodka for the price if you ask this guy. Sonia agrees, though she's not into vodka as much. Four stars a piece on Trader Joe's Small Batch Vodka.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter

In my hometown growing up, there was a farmer's market my parents liked to go to run by a local Mennonite family. They had all kinds of fresh produce, meats, and baked goods. In the fall, they'd put out scarecrows with pumpkin heads and hay mazes, and they'd sell homemade apple cider and a myriad of pies and goodies.

My absolute favorite part about going there was watching the employees make peanut butter with an old-fashioned hand crank grinder. It was literally nothing but unshelled peanuts going into the hopper, and the purest, rawest peanut butter coming out the other end. They'd put it in a mason jar and weigh it, and that was that.

To this day, that was the best peanut butter I've ever had. It's a simple case of "less is more." And that's exactly what we have here with Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter. Less is more. Nothing but raw almonds in that jar. They didn't even add salt.

Many moons ago, our old Pittsburghian compadre reviewed Trader Joe's Creamy Almond Butter. I remember thinking he was a little harsh on the product since Sonia and I had tried it around the same time and both of us had generally positive sentiments about it.


But both the beautiful wifey and I must admit this raw version is head and shoulders better. The difference? They used dry roasted almonds in the previous version...and added some cashews? Weird.

Trader Joe's is peddling an organic almond butter most recently. Apparently this raw version is not made with certified organic almonds but their new kind is. Also, there was very recently a crunchy version of this raw almond butter which is now discontinued, much to the chagrin of crunchy almond butter fans the world over.

I should also point out that this almond butter isn't technically completely raw, since it has been pasteurized. Does that affect the flavor? Who knows. I've never had unpasteurized almond butter.


The butter itself is both runny and a little gritty—it's a good gritty though. The runniness can vary from serving to serving based on how recently and how vigorously the almond butter has been agitated. You really have to manhandle the stuff the get the semi-solid parts to integrate with the liquids.

$5.99 for the jar. Not exactly cheap, but hey, despite a few weaknesses, Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter gets a thumbs up from me. We'll go with three and a half stars. 

This is Sonia's new favorite nut butter of all time. She gives it a perfect five out of five.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, January 3, 2023

Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars


Let's kick the new year off right. It's January, and everybody's craving frozen treats, right? No? Well then, let's crank up the heat, put on a tropical island screen saver, and pretend it's the middle of July. Not every review can be seasonally appropriate.

I've honestly been surprised how well oat lends itself to fudge and chocolate flavors. In almost every case, these oats and oat milk-based products would have been a godsend if I were still on my milk-free diet as I was as a child, or for that matter, if I were vegan. I'm thinking these Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars, the recently-reviewed Very Chocolatey Oat Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert, and Trader Joe's Oat Chocolate Bars.

Conversely, in each case, these chocolatey oat desserts fall just shy of my good old dairy-based stand-by treats. Although it's not really my thing these days, I used to love a good Fudgesicle circa junior high and high school. That's basically what these are: vegan fudge popsicles.

They taste fudgey enough for me, although they might fall a hair shy of the originals in terms of rich chocolatey goodness and creaminess. Still, for being oat-based, it's hard to complain, since the differences are negligible.

Texture-wise, they're sorta creamy-ish, I guess, but also almost a tad oily I'd say. Is it the cocoa butter? Sunflower lecithin? Both? It's not really unappetizing, just unique. The mouthfeel of this product is...interesting.

$3.49 for four bars. It seems odd there are only four. Six would be ideal by my estimate. Sonia gives these oaty treats four out of five stars. I give Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert Chocolate Fudge Oat Bars three out of five stars.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

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