Trader Joe's Jerk Chicken Burrito

Lately, I've been waking up super early. Not sure if it's just part of being an old man or a type of insomnia or a shift in circadian rhythms. Growing up, I always wanted to stay up as late as I possibly could. I found it exciting. All the best TV shows were on late at night, for one thing. Now, I have little to no interest in television, and in the summer time, I often nod off shortly after the sun sets.

Likewise, I tend to be up an hour or so before sunrise. I find I get a lot done very early in the morning. I can make my own schedule for my work, so I often have more than half the day's tasks completed before the beautiful wifey even wakes up.

I don't know if this goes along with just suddenly becoming a morning person after a lifetime of leaning towards being a night owl, but I find myself craving more substantial food for breakfast, i.e. lunch or dinner type fare for my morning meal. And yes, that's exactly what I did with this jerk chicken burrito. I fired up the oven around 5 a.m. and was chowing down by 5:30 or so.

I'm always super hungry at that hour, and that may have influenced my enjoyment of the product, but I'll try to be objective as I can. First impression: cutting into the burrito, there's a sweet, fruity smell. That must be the fruit salsa mentioned on the wrapper. I'd rather smell spices on jerk chicken, but it can also pair well with sweet stuff, too.

Taste-wise, the sweetness isn't overwhelming. Along with coconut rice, the fruit salsa is enough to give the burrito a distinctly Caribbean flavor. The jerk spices are there, but could be stronger. They linger on the back burner while you chomp away and creep up on you after a number of bites. They're still not as intense as jerk spices should be, but they're flavorful and pleasant.

The texture of the chicken was excellent—cooked to perfection. Trader Joe's chicken products have been hit or miss in that department throughout the years. The chicken chunks here were not chewy or stringy or rubbery, at least in our batch.

I cut the burrito in two and saved half for Sonia, who reheated it in the air fryer and consumed it many hours later around lunch time, like a normal person. She liked it, too, noting the large, whole beans and coconut rice rounded out both taste and texture nicely.

For $3.99, it's a pretty decent meal for one person, or it could be split in two and supplemented with a few snacks or sides. Could use more heat for authentic jerk status, but it'll get a thumbs up from both Sonia and me. Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Strawberry & Jalapeño Crisps

Good ol' Jim Gaffigan once had a small bit about eating an entire package of something, only to discover not liking how it tasted, so needing to eat a bunch of something else to get the taste out of your mouth. 

It's a little slice of life I can identify with, and while not 100% applicable to the new Trader Joe's Strawberry & Jalapeño Crisps, it kinda came to mind anyways. 

Let's get this out of the way first: these are kinda weird. The dried strawberry bits are very strawberry like, as the dried jalapeños are very jalapeño-like with a little extra jalapeño powder in the mix. The result? A little typical snacky toasty crisp that starts off  sweet and pleasant, before getting pretty hot and spicy on the relative scale for being what it is. Would admit, could use a drink after a few. I think one of my kids licked one and then noped her way right out of it. 

It's a good enough of a bite between the crispy crisp and the dried fruit and pepper. Don't let them get stale or in our case, leave the bag too open for too long in a humid, non-AC'd house, because then they take on somewhat of a sponge feel. 

But, and this is where the Gaffigan gag comes in, there's a bit of a disconnect between the sweet and spicy that the crisp can't bridge by itself, and so as a result I think they're a bit disappointing when consumed solo. The taste and experience is enough to warrant more bites to try and get a handle on it, but not enough to truly enjoy by its lonesome. You need something else to make it work, and in this case I'd say something creamy - goat cheese, some brie, heck maybe even just some regular cream cheese. It's a crisp made for something else after all, so get on it. We happened to somehow have none around the house to really test this theory for ourselves, but I don't see how it could possibly ever fail. 

Good crackers, need a snacking buddy. Something creamy to bridge the gap between sweet and spicy, and something to maybe cool the heat a touch. Otherwise, not bad. For the $4 for a box, I'd give 'em another try as would my lovely bride. Double threes. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Strawberry & Jalapeño Crisps: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Trader Joe's Wildberry Cheesecake Ice Cream

Hot take: this ice cream is very good, bordering on excellent.

While I've heard reports to the contrary, there were very few berries and cheesecake pieces in our pint. Other than that, this ice cream was stellar. It's super creamy, rich, indulgent, and somewhat berry-esque.

I can't imagine if we'd gotten a pint with lots of cheesecake and wild berries. I'd guess we'd have pantheonized this product for sure. Is "pantheonized" a word? Well, it should be...

A quick glance at the ingredients list would suggest that the plump, whole berries in the mix are, in fact, blueberries, however the "swirl" is made of pureed raspberries. It's a pretty tasty combo. I just wish there had been more of it. The white vanilla ice cream base is nothing to complain about, but it needs to increase that very berry area.

The cheesecake pieces were tasty. I'd say we got one tiny cheesecake bite for every five spoonfuls of ice cream. Boo. I want more.

Would have been five stars a piece from Sonia and me. As it stands, we'll give four and a half a piece.

Curious if your pint was chock-full of berries and cheesecake. Let us know in the comments!

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.