Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert

Apparently there's two different types of boba balls out there. Who knew?

The source of this knowledge is my lovely bride, who I trust completely and will try to represent well here. She states there's the type that's usually in bubble teas, of which we very occasionally partake. They're soft and squishy with no chew required and kinda fun, if not a little oddly gelatinous, but firm. So there's the first type, which I knew of.

There's another type, apparently, more common for top-your-own frozen yogurt kinda places, that are more like Fruit Gushers maybe? Like you bite into them and a little jelly plops out...by design. That sounds...challenging to me, to say the least. But if you like 'em, go for 'em!

So which are in the newish Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert?

Thankfully, to me, the ones present here are more alike the first described, from what I can tell. You bite into them and there's no ooze that slips on out. But that's not to say the bite isn't still a bit odd. I've had things like gummi worms and Swedish Fish in ice cream/ice cream-like desserts before, and usually those bits of candy are frozen hard and tacky and honesntly not nearly as enjoyable as I'd wish. These tapioca tidbits are different. Instead, there's a bit of a firm chew to them - still relatively soft by gummy candy standard, but not all jelly like either. It's...odd but definitely a bit satisfying after becoming accustomed to the feel. i can dig it. 

The rest of the coconut-based not-ice-cream scoopable dessert is okay. The coffee flavor seems a bit mild and tame. My wife says she prefers the more laidback taste, but then again she typically like creamier, more sugary coffees than I do. i prefer black coffee, and so i guess based on that I'd want a bolder coffee taste here. Not to say what's here is unpleasant - it's not - but it's a bit meek. Maybe the sweeter, milkier take is a bit of a homage to milky bubble teas, so I can see why that choice was made. 

Everything else is pretty much on point. There's good consistency to the dessert - not too thick and dense, not too light and melty - and anytime a vegan, non dairy treat that can plausibly pass for ice cream is available, we'll give it a go. It's good stuff, not great, but definitely worth a try. The pint was something like $5 (been a few weeks, sorry) which isn't that far off from most desserts of this type. Sandy will give it a solid four, noting that's nothing perfect ever, while I'm not as optimistic in the score as she as as it pertains to this dessert, but just maybe we'll find the perfect one this summer. C'mon TJ's!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cold Brew Coffee and Boba Coconut Non-Dairy Frozen Dessert: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

 

Trader Joe's Raw & Unfiltered Hawaiian Macadamia Nut Blossom & Multi-Floral Honey

Since 2004, I've been driving a gray '98 Subaru Legacy. It's now a 23-year-old car. It has about 180,000 miles on it. 

Other than our RV, that Subaru was the only vehicle I had ever purchased. There's absolutely nothing wrong with it. And that's the problem. It hasn't given us any good reasons to trade it in or scrap it. Save for a few dents and scratches, it still looks decent for the most part. The upholstery is in excellent condition for its age. We haven't ever had to put more than a couple hundred dollars into it for maintenance and upkeep over the years. I'm just not one to try to "keep up with the Joneses" and neither is Sonia.

So finally, over the course of this last winter, the 'Old Gray Mare' gave us some starting problems when temps stayed below zero for a full week at a time, and we eagerly seized the excuse to purchase a new car this spring. We still have the Legacy, but now we also own a 2021 Subaru Ascent. Dang, cars have come a long way in the past quarter century. It's very similar to the old car, but everything's just a little bit fancier, upgraded, improved.

Likewise, until now, I've never had a reason to switch honeys. It might be a silly analogy, but if the Legacy is that plastic bear-shaped bottle of honey that we usually have on hand, then the Ascent is this glass jar of Trader Joe's Raw & Unfiltered Hawaiian Macadamia Nut Blossom & Multi-Floral Honey. Everything's just a little bit better—from the presentation to the texture to the taste.

There's a richness here that I don't think I've experienced with other honeys. In addition to the expected sweetness, there are floral notes and even hints of nuttiness. I'd say it's my imagination, but I swear I can almost tell that it's the flavor of macadamia nuts. 

There's a silky luxuriousness to the texture that's quite alluring and unexpected. It's a subtle difference from other types of honey, but it's definitely there. So far, Sonia and I have tried it on toast with butter and have used it to sweeten granola, tea, and yogurt smoothies. It works perfectly in every case.

One ingredient in the product: honey—but it's everything different about the way they harvest this honey that makes it so unique. This is truly the champagne of honeys. Or the Subaru Ascent of honeys. Take your pick.

The write-up about this honey in the Fearless Flyer is a must-read. It cites the exact districts of Hawaii the bees come from and heralds the rare business opportunity this product represents for Trader Joe's and the family-owned apiary that gathers the honey.

$4.99 may seem kind of steep for a small jar of honey, but raw and unfiltered honey is always expensive. This is honestly on the low end of the spectrum, cost-wise. We'd buy again.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack

In my 38.5 years on this crazy planet, I've had many, many snacks. You name it, I've had it, most likely. 

I've also had plenty of crazy thoughts. Like thinking I looked good in those purple shorts back in middle school, or any other number I've had, most of them I dare not admit here. 

But never, not once, have my snacking and scheming ways crossed streams and converged into the thought of "Hey, what I really wanna snack on right now is a crispy mushroom."

You neither? Shocking. 

But hey, that's why things like Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snacks exist: because others dream just a little bit more, are a bit more creative, or just have different, kinda odd cravings. Thank God for all that. 

As may imagine, a crispy mushroom makes a bit of an odd snack. I hesitate to also call them crunchy as advertised, because it just seems a little inaccurate. The slices are vacuum fried, dried and salted, which leaves a perpetually crunchy outside but leaves the inside a soft baked feel. Like, it's absolutely not crunchy, but not soft and fleshy like an average musroom slice. It's just light and airy and, well, crispy. No other great word for it. It's kinda a fun bite and different than chips or popcorn or any other typical kinda snack. 

My lovely bride, whose sense of taste is still slowly returning after a COVID bout, kept marveling at "the seasoning" on the mushrooms. This is even after I told her a couple times that there's only salt and oil added. There's no extra umami-sprinkle or anything fancy you can do with mushrooms, although that'd be a fun touch. Nah, just salt and 'shroom, and I guess maybe somehow she can taste that better than i can, because to me it's a plain salty taste. Sure, there's a smidge of earthiness from the fungal base, but it's nothing overly flavorful, to me at least, although i too could be a bit hampered. 

In all, it's a light, kinda fun, different snack that probably has a few other applications. Sprinkling some on a salad wouldn't be a horrible idea, and maybe some kinds of soup as well like tomato. No word on if the crispy integrity would hold on up in those scenarios. Or maybe add as ingredient into a savory snack mix. . 

A one serving (!) bag costs $3.99, which may or may not mirror market price of mushrooms so well...I don't keep on tulip bulbs and porkbellies and all that, so judge for yourself. it's a buy I'd make again but am not in a huge rush to - just not so crazy for this snack. Double threes. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Crispy Crunchy Champignon Mushroom Snack: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons