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Showing posts with label snacks and desserts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snacks and desserts. Show all posts

Wednesday, November 21, 2018

Trader Joe's Cranberry Chevre

Crantastic. Tarterrific. Chevtacular.

Move over, cranberry sauce. I don't know how well this cheese would pair with turkey and stuffing, but I'd rather see this stuff on my Turkey Day spread, personally.

In my opinion, this is the best fruit and goat cheese pairing possible. It's the double dose of tartness that gets me. Sure, there's a good bit of sweetness from the cranberries—both natural and added, but by and large, this is a mouth-puckering, tart, tangy, sour patch people, spread-on-bread but preferably water crackers kind of snack here. Pairs nicely with a malbec or merlot. I just looked it up right now and wine people are telling me that it goes best with a Cabernet Franc. If they say so. I've never even heard of it. Cabernet Sauvignon? Sure. 

I'm learning to appreciate sweeter chevres like blueberry vanilla more than I did in years past, but every time I try them, there's still this notion that "blueberry vanilla" should be an ice cream flavor, not a goat cheese flavor. 

When I taste this stuff...I feel like this is why God invented goats. 


There's the perfect amount of smooshed, dried cranberry matter all around the outside of the cheese. If it's straight outta the fridge, it's a bit difficult to spread. I think the flavor comes across a little better, too, when the cheese has been left at room temperature for a spell. Most of the time, the cranberries stick to the cheese pretty tenaciously, yielding a well-balanced cheese to berry ratio in each bite. Water crackers provide the best neutral venue for this chevre to shine—not just flavor-wise, but the crispness serves as the perfect foil to the cheese's smooth creaminess.


Sonia liked the cheese, too, adding that the product has a melt-in-your-mouth quality that she wasn't expecting. "It feels like a fall food since it's so cranberry-ish," she said.

Four stars from her. Four and a half from me. 

Happy Thanksgiving, all!

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, November 19, 2018

Trader Joe's Mini Stroopwafel Ice Cream Sandwiches

"I-C-E C-R-E-A-M S-A-N-D-W-I-C-H P-L-E-A-S-E."

"Great job, M, Now spell 'stroopwafel.'"

GROOOOOOOOOOOOANNNN.

"It's okay, baby. I don't know how to spell it either."

So it goes these days with my oldest daughter M. She's just a few months into first grade but knows how to spell most anything we can throw her way...and the thing is, she actually enjoys it. Weird kid. But she insists on spelling things at random, including when requesting her dessert the other night, which, of course, was one of Trader Joe's Mini Stroopwafel Ice Cream Sandwiches.

There's been a buzz about these recently. And with good reason. I mean....stroopwafels. Who can hate on them one bit? And ice cream too! These seem to be a match made in heaven.

I'll have to admit that I'm underwhelmed here, unfortunately. I kinda hate when something seems to be so built up, so buzzworthy, and purported to be something so amazing and divine, just for my experience to be so lacking. Is it me that's wrong, or is it all of you? Hate those questions.

Where to start? The taste. Yes, as one would expect, there's a fair amount of caramel here. But it's flat, very flat. The layer in the stroopwafel is frozen and hard and kinda bland, and it's not a strong flavor out of the ice cream either. There's none of the purported saltiness.

Also, frozen stroopwafels aren't particularly fun to bite through. Which I guess shouldn't be surprising - they are a wafer meant to be placed atop a hot cup of coffee, and we're at the other end of the spectrum here - but it's a little stiff cardboardiness going on. Ice cream layer is just fine.

I'm not impressed to be honest. These mini ice cream sandwiches could have been better with some stronger flavor and softer caramel. A serving size is two of these buggers but I was happy enough with just one - a second didn't seem worthy of my caloric indulgences for the day. I cannot be any less excited about them, which pales in comparision to how I felt pre-purchase. it's just meh all the way around, no matter how you spell it. Meh meh meh.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mini Stroopwafel Ice Cream Sandwiches: 5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 




Tuesday, November 13, 2018

Trader Joe's Vanilla & Pretzel and Trader Joe's Coconut & Almond Greek Lowfat Yogurts


Chobani Flips, Fage Crossovers, Yoplait Mix-ins, Siggi's Simple Sides...you know what I'm talking about. They're yogurts that come with their own toppings. Pretty much idiot-proof. Just open up both compartments and dump the side with the mixables into the side with the yogurt. If you can land the toppings in the container and stir them up without spilling anything onto the table or the floor, you've passed the test. Just consume and enjoy. 

I think these products indicate that the yogurt industry is trying to combat the idea that plain yogurt is boring. It certainly can be, but I'm still fine with non-mixable yogurt. Maybe it was all the business little yogurt shops like Yogurtland and Pinkberry were taking away from the mainstay yogurt guys. 

"Oh, you want to PUT STUFF on your yogurt?" said yogurt CEO's, annoyed with their customers for not being a little more brand-loyal. "We hear you loud and clear, friends. Here's yogurt with STUFF you PUT on it. Sheesh."

Now, it's Trader Joe's turn. These were the only two flavors we saw on TJ's shelves so far. If any others have been sighted, let us know in the comments below.

Sonia and I both share our thoughts in this short video review. Sonia gives three stars to the vanilla pretzel offering and four stars to the coconut almond one. I'll throw out three and a half to each.



Trader Joe's Vanilla & Pretzel Lowfat Greek Yogurt: 6.5 out of 10.
Trader Joe's Coconut & Almond Lowfat Greek Yogurt: 7.5 out of 10.



Friday, November 9, 2018

Trader Joe's Turkey Cranberry Meatballs

....somehow it's almost Thanksgiving already! What the what!?!?!

Seems to me that Halloween starts off a verifiable gauntlet of activities and festivities for the fam. Yes, there's the usual Halloween/Thanksgiving/Christmas/New Years stretch...but mix in there Sandy and my's anniversary (almost nine years!), a couple kids' birthdays, our growing tradition of a holiday cookie party, other activities and parties and occasions, along with it growing into the busy season at work, and all along all the normal humdrum and business of day-to-day life...we're busy! And we need to eat, preferably altogether and happily as a family.

Which means I don't really want my kids complaining about whatever meat may be on the table. With that in mind, with Turkey Day coming up too, getting Trader Joe's Turkey Cranberry Meatballs was an easy choice. Who can ever complain about a meatball?

I'm not here. Listen, I know these aren't as good as your Aunt Millie's famous homemade recipe, but for a frozen convenience poultry protein sphere, I'll gladly take them. As they come fully cooked, it's only a few minutes in the oven or microwave that's needed.

The reward for those three nanonseconds worth of active prep? A warm, soft yet appropriately firm meatball that's decidedly lighter than an average beef ball. It's pretty par for the frozen meatball course, with an absolute comfort vibe. But there's a lot more to like here too. There's some pretty decent rosemary in there to really enhance the flavor of the meat with some herbal savoriness. And the little dried cranberries add a nice touch. They're not intrusive from a textural standpoint at all, and definitely add a little "Thanksgiving" to the overall feel.

These turkey treats aren't perfect, though. One scroll through the ingredient list - "mechanically separated turkey." gulp. If you don't what that is somehow, go Google it...not gonna tell ya here, it's a family friendly business we run here. Also, and this is just a suggestion, but meatballs usually incorporate breadcrumbs, right? My grandma took it a step further and used crumbled homemade biscuits. Well, since it's for Turkey Day...why not use some stuffing in there too? That'd literally be almost all of Thanksgiving all rolled up in one morsel, provided that it got tossed around like a football, hollered at about politics, and drenched in gravy as well.

Mmm. Gravy. These do taste better with gravy as I sampled at the local TJ's shop. Interestingly, the dude running the counter advised microwaving instead of baking the balls, so as to retain a little more moisture and not dry them out as much. I prepped one half of our bag each way and to be honest I didn't notice too drastic a difference. Your mileage may vary, though, so there's that.

Sandy and I liked them. The kiddos tolerated them well enough and turned their dinner time ire more towards the brussel sprouts. I'll count that as a win - usually they devour their veggies and slowly whittle our will to let them live by taking four score and seven years to eat a bite of meat. The bag of about 20 meatballs (roughly four or five servings) ran $4.49 locally, so a decent enough of a value for a repeat buy. I'd think they'd work as a dinner or party snack option, so whatever you got going on, these can come alongside. Double 3.5s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Turkey Cranberry Meatballs: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons


Thursday, November 8, 2018

Trader Joe's Chantilly Cream Vanilla Bean Mini Sheet Cake


Icing: it's the best part of the cake, and the worst part of hockey.

If you're not sure exactly what that means, just turn to the hockey fan nearest you and ask them about it. Right now, as I compose this post, the Capitals and Penguins are playing one another. #ALLCAPS! It's a big rivalry—almost as big a rivalry as the ultimate argument about cake. There are those like my lovely wife that claim the bread part is always best. And then there are people like me. I'm usually an icing kinda guy.


Not long ago, Sonia and I sampled TJ's Party Cake. I liked it a bit more than she did in the end, but we both enjoyed the cake more than the frosting in that instance. In this case, the vanilla bean icing is the main attraction for me. It actually tastes like vanilla beans more than regular white icing in the same way vanilla bean ice cream tastes more like true vanilla than even a highly respectable French vanilla. And like vanilla bean ice cream, this icing has actual ground vanilla beans in it.

The icing isn't completely even across the top of the cake. Around the edges, it's significantly shallower than in the middle. There are a few areas that even seem to have greater quantities of frosting than cake—as in, you take a fork-full, and you're chewing two parts icing to one part cake. It didn't bother me much at all because the vanilla bean was so tasty. You bready cakey people might disagree. However, even I must admit the bread here is nothing to complain about. It stays moist and fresh-ish for quite a while after opening the product. It's not unlike the bread part of the Party Cake, but perhaps a bit denser and richer by virtue of the presence of beaucoup buttermilk.


In general, I'm not even a huge cake and cookies guy anymore, but I'm sure I've consumed hundreds of pieces of cake at parties and get-togethers over the years, and many of them, perhaps even most, have been vanilla. I generally prefer vanilla cake over chocolate, although there have been notable exceptions. I eat less cake these days for a number of reasons: health concerns, weight, not to mention I don't get invited to many parties these days, and I attend even fewer. All that to say it takes a pretty decent cake to impress me at all. 

$4.49 for the dessert isn't a bad deal. Four stars from me. Three and a half from Sonia...who didn't even finish all of her icing.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, November 6, 2018

Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Flavored Hot Cocoa

Let the milk and cocoa...simmer on the heat...don't ya know the bitter cold makes the bitter sweet?

Ahem. If you have children under the age of 10 or so, you may be aware of a band called The Okee Dokee Brothers. In short, in a world full of mostly wretched, ear clawing, about to drive you mad kid's music, the Brothers band is surprisingly fresh, fun, and more than tolerable to the point of practically downright enjoyable for the whole family. We'e trekked out for an overnight trip out of town to go see them play in Columbus, OH a few months back, just in time for their new album release Winterland. Solid album from start to finish...and believe me, I know. It's been on repeat for the past month everytime we've driven anywhere, so I am intimately familiar with each song on the album, including the lead off song "Blankets of Snow" where the first line of this review came from.

Could be a lot worse. Could be Kids Bop 265 or whatever they're on now.

So my apologies for not being able to think of another way to start off a review of yet another hot cocoa concoction for TJ's, this time Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Flavored Hot Cocoa.

Unlike my kid's number one choice of music, this one may slightly tilt towards the older crowd. My kids are just happy with anything brown and sugary (it counts as "chocolate" for them") and if there's marshmallows it's a bonus.

Salted caramel is much more the lead flavor of this beverage. It starts with that flourish, then delves into the cocoa after a brief semi-salty interlude. I'm not sure I'd say it's exactly "high quality" salted caramel...but it works with the chocolate elements enough to make a fairly drinkable, fairly enjoyable product. Even when made with water, there's a pretty rich, developed taste which I'd imagine would be even more so with milk, but after a tummy bug knocked me out for the last day and a half, I wasn't gonna try. I can definitely down some on a cold day while not feeling too bad about leaving the kiddos with a packet of Swiss Miss.

Odd point: this mix goes through the trouble of being made with coconut creamer powder, yet still contains milk in that said powder. Coconut creamer doesn't really even need milk, so why bother? It'd be cool to have this as a dairy free option, but no dice. 

This caramelly cocoa runs $3.99 for the squatty cannister which holds enough for eight servings, so about 50 cents a cup overall. Seems like an okay but not amazing value to me. At least it comes with a free three tablespoon scoop, and it'll be a cannister that I'm sure my kids will fight over once emptied. Oh well. It's all okee-dokee with me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Salted Caramel Flavored Hot Cocoa: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Friday, November 2, 2018

Trader Joe's Soft Honey Nougat with Almonds

The moment Sonia popped the confection into her mouth, she said what I was thinking: "Weird."

"Mmhmm," I agreed, mouth bulging with candy.

"It tastes fake," added the missus. 

I didn't disagree, but I looked at the ingredients. First on the list: glucose syrup. I was hoping to see "cane sugar" or "honey" there.

At first, this candy feels fake, too—almost like hard plastic. The nougat quickly softens, though, and goes from stiff and rigid to soft and pliable. The nuts are the only elements that remain hard after a few moments in the mouth, and they add the only non-sugary flavor to the product. The taste of honey is detectable, but I wish there were a good bit more of it.


We both agree the almonds are the best part of this sweet snack, and since they're playing second fiddle to a block of vanilla-flavored sugar, they still don't redeem the product entirely, in my opinion. Sonia started enjoying the candy more and more as she tasted the almonds, got used to the unfamiliar texture, and learned that the nougats came all the way from South Africa. I'm not sure why we have to import something that could potentially be little more than wads of corn syrup, but I guess we're just that much more sophisticated for eating foreign confections.


Despite an initial wariness, Sonia will bring a respectable three and a half star score. At $3.49 for 8 pieces of nougat, I think it's a little overpriced and uninteresting. I'd prefer a product that's simply nice big whole almonds with just a thin coating of this candy. Two and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 6 out of 10.

Thursday, October 25, 2018

Trader Joe's Donut Bites

From across the aisle, it beckoned. I was solely aiming for some frozen chicken when it's bright cheery blue neon packaging called out, an irresistable siren. "It's just not fair," I exclaimed to the nice woman stocking the frozen goods case nearby. "You all need to stop doing this." We laughed, smiled, and shared a nod of understanding.

The cashier smiled, grinned and exclaimed, "Oh boy? When did we get these?!??!?! Where are they?" Promptly after checking out my cart, off he ran, undoubtedly an impromptu sample party on his mind.

The wife cheered. The kids surprisngly got a lot more interested in eating their dinner in a timely fashion. Even their spinach, of all things. And me? I felt warm and happy inside. Anticipation for something good is a healthy drug.

What singular thing could possibly elicit all these responses? None other a brand new box of Trader Joe's Donut Bites. Donuts! Who can hate on donuts!?!!?!? Everyone loves them! At $2.99 for a boxed dozen, it's a no-brainer buy. I mean, just look at them on the package...flaky sugar atop warm sofy doughy donut with some sweet 'n tart raspberry jam oozing out...good luck resisting that.

Well, I will be going forward.

Hate to be the bearer of bad news...but this isn't close to being a particularly good product. It's enough that I really wonder how anyone can mess up a donut so bad.

First of all, look at them, straight out of the oven. It's a nondescript semi-leaky doughball. Looks nothing like the package. Second, who bakes a donut, really? Third, the donut dough tastes alright and has an okay feel to it....but it's more bready than an actual donut should be. Which makes no sense, but it doesn't have the donut feel or taste at all. And fourth...the jam. A good filling could salvage a lot here. Nope. It's more red pectin ooze than anything. No sugariness. No tart as one would expect from a raspberry. The jelly's almost completely devoid of flavor by itself.

It's hard to be let down by anything claiming to be a donut, but here we are. The kids were just happy to have something with sugar, and they devoured enough spinach to earn them that they were going to enjoy this supposed treat no matter what. Sandy and I are both thoroughly not impressed. The bites are just so bland. There's the smallest of comfort vibe coming from these bites (presumably because warmed and carb-y equals comfort) but it's about the only thing going for them. These are not going to be a repeat purchase as they're not worthy of the premature hype we ascribed to them. We're going pretty low here...

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Donut Bites: 3.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons  

Wednesday, October 24, 2018

Trader Joe's Vegan Banana Bread with Walnuts

It's always amazed me that veggies like zucchini, carrots, rhubarb, and even pumpkins can provide the base for delicious desserts. Zucchini bread, carrot cake, pumpkin pie, and rhubarb pie? Heck yes. But prior to sampling each of those goodies, my intuition told me to steer clear. I was wrong. Hey, it happens to the best of us.

Bananas on the other hand? That's just a no-brainer. Of course they would make taste-tastic treats. They're already sweet, they have an almost bread-like consistency, and they're super malleable. Since it lacks the intimidation factor of vegetable-based desserts, I've been sampling and praising banana bread from my earliest days—so the bar has been set pretty high.

This offering is obviously vegan, which means no eggs or dairy—and in our opinion, as non-vegans, this product doesn't suffer at all for want of animal products. It's soft, slightly sweet, and has a nice bready, banana-y flavor. The walnuts add a pleasant touch, although, there could be a few more of them. It might have required some kind of refrigeration, but I wouldn't have minded some real banana chunks scattered throughout the loaf.


All in all, it's comparable to most other shelf-stable, pre-packaged banana breads I've had. It's no competition for homemade or fresh-baked, but it's a pretty impressive accomplishment considering the lack of animal-based elements. This is one of the tastiest vegan desserts I've had in recent memory, and at about $4, it's worth a whirl whether you follow a vegan diet or not.

Sonia would have liked to see this product go the alternative grain route. Unbleached, enriched wheat flour is so...commonplace and humdrum, even if you don't have celiac issues. Since this bread is already flirting with that "healthier alternative" vibe, we wouldn't have minded a gluten-free offering here. Maybe in the future. I often find rice-based flours taste better to me anyway, so I'd almost always pick the non-gluten offering if it were available.


All things considered, this is still a thumbs up from both Sonia and I. Four stars from her. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Monday, October 15, 2018

Trader Joe's Chocolate Salted Caramel Mug Mix

"I didn't choose the mug life. The mug life chose me." It's kinda true. This product has been out for at least a month or so, I'm pretty sure. It's not particularly fall-ish. I'm just reviewing it by default since we don't have any spectacular new pumpkin things to check out and we're between TJ's runs at the moment in our household. But we do have a microwave and mugs, so chocolate salted caramel mug mix, here we come.

I'm a fan of substituting water with milk any time something cake or brownie-ish comes along. But in this case, I didn't have any milk on hand, so water it was. The product still came out fairly rich and creamy, despite the absence of actual cow juice. I guess there's a bit of condensed milk in the caramels, but you know what I mean. No milk was added. I actually followed the instructions for once.

First impressions: I'm really surprised at how easy the product was to make. If I had been handed a dessert like this at a fancy restaurant, I'd have marveled at what wizardry might have been responsible for getting actual salted caramel into the middle of a brownie in the middle of a coffee mug. I never would have guessed in a million years that it could be as simple as plopping two unwrapped caramels into the mix during a 40 second microwaving process. And yet that's it. Stir water into the mix, heat, drop caramels, heat again. Done.


My foodie-hack prowess is responsible for the odd streaking marks on the sides of the mug. I'm sure with a little patience and care, one could spiff the presentation up a bit more than I did. Also, for some reason, the colors of the brownie turned out a bit redder in this picture than they appeared to my naked eye. Not sure what I can attribute that to. I either need to white balance my camera again or get my eyes checked or both. Or neither. It's not a big deal, is it?

Flavor-wise, this product is quite sweet. I've mentioned many times before that I do have a sweet tooth, but I'm craving sugary stuff less and less in my old age. This, surprisingly, was one of the most cloyingly sweet items from Trader Joe's in recent memory. There's a bit of richness to the chocolate, and you can definitely taste the sea salt of the salted caramel, but the dominant essence was very sweet to my tongue. We've seen the Fleur de Sel Caramel on this blog once or twice before, and it's a quality product for sure, but it is quite sweet, as well as salty and creamy. This time, it comes in the form of cellophane-wrapped, bite-size chewy candies—four of them, two for each of the two suggested servings. I should also note that there are two individual packages for the cake mix, too. All the measuring is already done for you.

The flavors of the brownie and caramel come together nicely, despite the sweetness. I can't complain about this product too much in the end. It's very convenient and fun to make. The texture is everything you'd want and expect from a fresh-made brownie filled with gooey caramel, and the price is right at $1.99. I probably wouldn't purchase again just because it's rare I crave chocolate and salted caramel these days, but if you do, this would definitely be a product you should reach for.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, October 10, 2018

Trader Joe's Organic Turkey Bites


It's a little early to be looking at turkey and Thanksgiving stuff already, but here's a product that's hanging out on TJ's "new items" shelf that's just begging for a review. Never had organic turkey bites before? Me neither. Let's explore them together, shall we?

Any time I see a shiny, slender plastic bag partially filled with shelf-stable, processed foods like this, I think of astronaut ice cream. I used to love that stuff. So weird and unique—but in retrospect, it's not nearly as good as any decent actual ice cream. I think it was just the novelty of having A) ice cream that didn't need freezing or refrigeration of any kind and B) something that space men (and, ostensibly, extraterrestrials) actually consume. Also, the thrill of the hands-on science museum was heightened by the promise of an astronaut ice cream-induced sugar buzz after a brief visit to the gift shop at the end of the day. Good times.


Here, we have astronaut-esque turkey snack bites. I really wish they'd have called the product: Trader Joe's Astronaut Thanksgiving. I would have made sure it got a decent score if that had been the name...IF that had been the name. As is, I'm just gonna give it to you straight that this speculative concoction is a little disappointing.

When you Google the title of these bad boys, you get a little snippet from the Fearless Flyer stating "You can join in the cause of advancing snack science today by picking up a 2.5 ounce package of Trader Joe’s Organic Turkey Apple Bites for $4.99." Trader Joe's is giving it to you straight, as well: a purchase of this product is charity, plain and simple. In other words, please empower us to make weird stuff like it in the future. Or don't.

The turkey bites are soft little quadrilateral dealies about the size of a domino. You only get 12 or so in a pack. They're fairly dense, so the value isn't terrible, I suppose. I think they're going for a jerky-ish vibe, although, these are much less chewy, leathery, and dry than traditional jerky. I'm not exactly sure what I can compare the texture to—it's, like, maybe somewhere in between room-temperature meatloaf and an RxBar...? Sound appetizing? Didn't think so. Just remember, you're the guinea pig in a study advancing human knowledge of food science...or something like that.


The flavor is even more...experimental. It's not unlike that of a turkey-flavored dog treat. Nor is it a far cry from normal turkey jerky I guess, but there're also apples, raisins, and an odd assortment of garlic and other spices that would only go together with fruit in some kind of homemade Thanksgiving stuffing. Again, I guess that's what they're going for. Astronaut Thanksgiving.

I really, really want to like them. I do. And I'm sure someone out there does. Quirky, weird, protein-rich snacks made with almost entirely organic ingredients? I'm pretty sure Isaac Asimov wrote about these some 60 or 70 years ago, visionary that he was. People laughed at his parallelogram-shaped, compacted turkey and apple bites as "fanciful" and "far-fetched." Most of those critics are long dead...but if they were still around, they'd have to admit: the future is now.

Bottom line: 5.5 out of 10.

Monday, October 8, 2018

Trader Joe's Halloween Gummies

Never gave it much thought until recently, but there is a difference between "spooky" and "scary", isn't there? There probably are a few different working definitions and delineations floating around, but for our kids, we define "spooky" as something that's maybe a little scary but fun, like most of the Halloween decorations in the seasonal section at Target right now. I swear both my girls could spend hours just roaming through those aisles, looking at the skeletons and creepy ghost clocks and phones and whatever else, and laugh and giggle the whole time. That's "spooky" for us - bed sheet ghosts, Jack-o-lanterns, spiderwebs, etc. Scary is something else, like legitimately frightful...like trying to watch The Lion King with them. Never saw either of my kids petrified as much as during the scene with the hyenas and stampede. They almost looked like me opening up our utility bills.

Somewhat similarly, there's a difference between fruit snacks and fruit-inspired gummy candies...I guess? Again, it's not a topic I gave much thought until we picked up Trader Joe's Halloween Gummies on a recent shopping trip.

Scary snacks? Spooky gummies? Something else?

In our household, we're most acquainted with Welch's Fruit Snacks due to the endless crate we have of them from our local Costco. It's a bottomless well. So it's them I'm comparing these TJ ghouly gummies to most directly. There's a decided difference, for sure.

Whereas the Welches are softer and more singularly fruit-flavored, the haunted house brand from TJ's are much firmer and more of a flavor blend. Gummy or gummier are not quite the right words...just firmer, with a bit more chew. That's not a bad touch, and is presumably because the first ingredient is glucose syrup (i.e., wheat) and not fruit puree. Hrrrr...I do like the sound of fruit puree better.

One thing definitely in TJ's favor: The respective coloring agents. Black carrot, apple, pumpkin, black currant and spirulina sound a lot nicer than Blue 1 and Red 40, don't ya think?

I also like the TJ's seasonal spooky shapes: Skeletons, skulls, bats, bones, and some unidentified glob. Nice. It does make them a little fun, although the different fruit shapes with Welches at least add to a perception that each fruit shape tastes a little different. The TJ's? Not so much. It's more of a general sugary fruit punch flavor more than anything else, which take a good chew or two to really get going. It tastes good but gets a bit dull after a few.

One other thing to love: the price! It's just $3.99 for a sack of 20 minibags. That's less than 20 cents each! For us, that makes them perfect for little lunches or snacks on the go (our girls love anything resembling a fruit snack), but man, you can load up for trick-or-treaters! Yes, that won't make you as cool as those rich folks who give out king size Butterfingers, but at least it ain't anything close to raisins. That ought to be illegal.

We like 'em, our kids like 'em, you're likely to like 'em too. Nothing to get spooked about here. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Halloween Gummies: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Tuesday, October 2, 2018

Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsley

Well, this seems a sneaky trick.

I love what's going on in the flavored chip world right now. We're no longer stuck in the days of only having plain, barbeque, sour cream and onion, or salt and vinegar to choose from. Just last week, while hungrily stalking the aisles at Target, I spotted some Lay's bacon wrapped jalapeno popper chips - heck yeah. I'm pretty sure I ate half the bag standing in the parking lot.

All sorts of other flavors out there, and hopefully coming up on pone of my seasonal favorites from TJ's pretty soon...but the heck is this???

Chips...flavored with...(gulp)...brussels sprouts?

Stop trying to sneak salad into my snacks!

But such it is with Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsely. Jeez, they may as well as call them "garden variety" chips or something of the sort. The name's too long, make it snappier.

Fortunately, these are pretty snackaholic-worthy crispers that, in the right mood, can go for total inhalation. It's the texture, for me. Instead of just regular corn chips, these TJ's chippies are made from a blend of corn, rice and potato, making a lighter, crispier, airier delight. If you're familiar with TJ's sweet potato tortilla chips, these seem to have a similiar feel, which I love. Much better than regular corn tortilla chips or Tostitos in my opinion.

And the thing is, you can barely taste the brussels sprouts. They're more visible as tiny green specks than tastable, I think. If I close my eyes and try hard, a little sprouty sense begins leaking through, but not much. It seems to be more power of suggestion aided by a little salt and accompanying flavors, none of them terribly obtrusive. A little garlic here, a little onion there, a wee bit salty lime over there.

These vegetable cornucopia chips taste great plain, as my whole family enjoyed while walking around on a day out this past weekend. But anythign else you could possibly use a tortilla chip in or with would almost certainly work. I can't imagine them not being a good choice, even if brussels sprouts aren't really your thing. It's a worthy buy at $2.99, so let the chips fall as they may.

Bottom line:  Trader Joe's Tortilla Chips Seasoned with Brussels Sprouts, Garlic, Onion & Parsley: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons


Monday, October 1, 2018

Trader Joe's Birthday Cake Popcorn

We were slightly less impressed with this product than we might have been since its advent comes so closely on the heels of another festive confectionalized corn concoction: last month's Candy Corn Popcorn. If your birthday happens to be in October, then this product is arguably seasonally-appropriate, but for the other eleven twelfths of us, the candy corn variety is a little more Halloweenish and, therefore, Octoberish.

Taste and texture-wise, this candied popcorn is remarkably similar to the candy corn version. It's still a high-quality popcorn coated in a slightly waxy, sugary glaze—sweet and a little salty, addictive, and hard to put down. It also begs comparison to Trader Joe's Birthday Cake Bar by virtue of its nearly identical packaging and presentation. Like the bar, this product boasts colorful little sprinkles. There's approximately one sprinkle per corn kernel, on average. Oddly enough, though, I felt as though I could taste them, but it could be just the power of suggestion. I know for sure I could feel them—firm, round little funfetti do-dads in nearly every bite.


As far as the coating is concerned, it's not really white chocolate like I was hoping for. 

The Birthday Cake Bar was most definitely made of delicious white chocolate, so I reasoned that TJ's would glaze this popcorn with the same. It's really just sugar, tapioca nonsense, and...well, you can read the ingredients list as well as I can. No mention of cocoa butter or anything milk-related, so...not white chocolate in my book.

And yet, it's got a similar vanilla-esque essence. It tastes very faintly of actual birthday cake somehow. In a blind taste test, I could most definitely differentiate this product from the candy corn popcorn, but the sprinkles/jimmies are the most obvious difference.

It's not a bad snack by any means. It would be perfect for parties—birthday or otherwise—although the bag would be gone in a matter of minutes. Again, Trader Joe's tells us there are five servings in the bag, but most people are gonna go with two or less. I'm a little sad there's no white chocolate, but I can't complain much other than that. Three and a half stars from me. Sonia enjoyed this just about exactly as much as she enjoyed the candy corn popcorn, so four again from her.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, September 25, 2018

Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts

Nope, still not going there. Nathan caved first...I'm holding strong with my "alternative tastes of fall" binge for as long as possible!

If you ever find yourself driving along Rt 100 in Waterbury, VT, chances are you'll stop for ice cream and maybe the tour at the Ben & Jerry's Factory. Been there probably 100 times on vacation, as my family vacationed in Vermont almost every summer for years. We still occasionally do. And dang it, we love ice cream. But there's much more to be had on that stretch of road. There's a Cabot cheese outlet annex store (oodles of free samples) and also Cold Hollow Cider Mill...with more free samples...and freshly made cider donuts to die for.

No, Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts don't hold up against Cold Hollow's, or probably any local apple orchard that makes their own cider donuts. There's just too much to be said for freshmade from a local source that make cider donuts an undeniable treat.

But if you're not anywhere close to anywhere that makes cider donuts and these TJ's ones are available, it's a more than adequate consolation prize.

These cider donuts from TJ's are thick and dense and cakey. There's nothing light and airy about them at all. The distinct lack of overall greasiness to me that suggests perhaps they're baked and not fried.

Biting into the dough past the cinnamon and sugar sprinkled outside, there's subtle appley sweetness with a little twinge of typical cider spices like nutmeg and clove. Admittedly, tthese particular cider donuts, as with most, aren't an overwhelming flavor experience, but go more for a comfort vibe. Eating one of these is good enough to hold me over for several hours, which is no easy task, and certainly not something an average donut could do.

Still, having had truly exceptional cider donuts both on vacation in VT and closer to home from our local orchard, I can say these TJ's ones just lack a little something. I can't think of it being anything other than freshness and local taste. I'm not calling them stale tasting, by any means, because they're not, but a donut made moments before consumption tastes much different than one that's been in a box for at least a day or two.

If you have no other options, go get 'em, you won't regret 'em. At $3.99 for the six pack, it's a good deal. I was happy enough to eat them alongside some coffee for breakfast the other morning, as well as enjoy part of one for a late night snack with a little bourbon. Our kids liked them but weren't wowed....just wait til I take them on vacation and stuff them full of free samples, donuts and ice cream right before they pass out for the long drive back home from Vermont, just like my dad used to do. Then they'll love cider donuts for sure.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Apple Cider Donuts: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Friday, September 21, 2018

Trader Joe's Spiced Pumpkin Madeleine Cookies

Rejoice. It's that very special time again. It's that time of the year when it rains pumpkin spice products all across the western world. There'll be lattes for Suzy, and Kringles for Johnny, and muffins for Dick and for Jane. 

It's time to get basic—or, perhaps, basically awesome—depending upon your perspective. At any rate, let's get down to basics and talk about this: the first pumpkin spice product of 2018 here on our illustrious blog.

As noted previously, the first Trader Joe's pumpkin or pumpkin spice product of the season tends to have a distinct advantage over later offerings. It's a combination of pumpkin overload, heightened expectations, and social media steering us to the best products first and the "meh" products last. This year, it's no different.

Not that we heard a huge buzz about these on the interwebs prior to picking them up, but Sonia had definitely spotted them on Instamagram a couple times. "Instamagram." That's not an error. That's how I say it. Like when I say my home state, I call it "Pennsylmavania." It's funny. Homer Simpson-inspired. I add an extra syllable in the middle of words to amuse myself and, occasionally, others, because I'm basic like that. It just seems to work particularly well with Instamagram.

Sonia's a huge fan of it when I add my extra "ma" syllable to things. Know what else she's a huge fan of? Pumpkin stuff. Know what else? Madeleines—ahem, mademaleines. So these are like a dream come true for her. In fact, she actually said, "This is a dream come true for me" when she bit into her first cookie. She really, really enjoys these.

I like them too. They're sweet and punkinny. I think the pumpkin spice element is juuust a little too heavy-handed. I enjoy pumpkin spice to a degree, but I feel like it overshadows the natural butteriness of the madeleines slightly. Sonia thinks the balance is nearly perfect.


The texture of the cookies is very madeleine-esque—moist, soft, and spongy. We're both fans.

We both think $2.99 is a tad steep for six small cookies, but Sonia will quickly point out that madeleines tend to be on the pricier end of the cookie cost spectrum.

Sonia will kick off this pumpkin season with a four and a half star score and a big thumbs up. I'm on board for four stars and another vote for "yea" on these mademaleines.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, September 18, 2018

Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries

Listen, we all know it's coming. Heck, it's practically here. Some (many?) of you are probably wondering why we haven't jumped on that bandwagon quite yet.

Not me, though. I can wait. Long time readers probably know that already. Nathan's the one who's basically awesome, not me. And if you still don't know what I'm talking about, heck, I'm not even ready to write the actual words. But you know them, they're everywhere this time of year. They rhyme with "sumpthin' nice."

But nah. I'm sticking with what I'll call "alternative seasonal tastes" as long as I can. It's a long fall ahead...heck, it hasn't even technically started yet. But colder weather is on the horizon, and with that comes great classic tastes like a good cup of hot chocolate.

Or, more to the point of this review, Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries.

Sheepishly, it was while searching for another seasonally appropriate PopTart compadre that I first spotted these particular TJ's breakfast/snacky pastries. Those other ones were for my beautiful bride, but these? For me. All mine. Gimme all dat cocoa....now!

For me, this is the rare toaster tart that actually tastes better toasted than "raw." The key is the filling. At room temp, it's kinda a basic choco-fill, nothing too special. but when toasted, it gets this warm, gooey, fudgy feel that's quite evocative of the dregs at the bottom of a cup of hot cocoa. Except, well, better.   It's good filling for sure, and the surrounding dough pouch is appropriately soft and crumbly with just the right feel, whether toasted or not.

But there's a small disappointment here. Look at the top. Where's all the frosting? Every pastry we got in our box had this same male balding pattern thing going on. And what's on there isn't quite enough to really taste if it's supposed to be more like some wispy froth type deal, or more of a marshmallow essence. I know this sounds like I'm complaining that there's not enough sugar on my sugar, because I am, but when you're getting a toaster pastry out to mash on down, you know what you're going for, organic or not. If I wanted healthy and good for me I'd make a kale smoothie.

It's been a long time since I've actually consumed a name brand Pop Tart so direct comparisons are going to fall flat, but I'd rate the TJ's toasty tarts as at least equal to if not better than their more famous counterparts. Maybe it's the word "organic" playing mind tricks. You never know...but I know you can find these now at TJ's for $1.99 for a box of 3 dual foilpacks (6 tarts total) which strikes me as a good deal. Need more frosting, though. But for a first taste of things to come, not bad, not bad at all.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Frosted Hot Cocoa Toaster Pastries: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Monday, September 17, 2018

Trader Joe's Candy Corn Popcorn

I'm not a huge fan of picking up Halloween products before the leaves have turned and the air gets chilly, but TJ's releases these things in September, and we've got to strike while the iron is hot. Also, we're reviewing this sooner than later for the benefit of you readers. Knowing Trader Joe's, they'll be sold out next week, and they'll discontinue the product forever, and you'll be pulling your hair out, shopping for it on eBay at some obscene markup. I mean, hopefully, that won't happen, but if you're a fan of candy corn and/or caramel corn, I wouldn't take the chance...

Because this stuff is pretty yummy. It does, in fact, taste like candy corn. I think it tastes like caramel corn, too. But it's a very high-quality kind of caramel corn. It's on par with the Pumpkin Spice Caramel Corn we checked out just about exactly two years ago. I'm not even particularly fond of regular caramel corn. Never have been. But fancy, flavored, gimmicky, sexy, newfangled caramel corn? Yes, please.


As far as candy corn is concerned—as a kid, I was obsessed with it. I waited all year for those waxy, triangular sugar drops, and I'd inhale as much as my parents would allow during the season. I'd pray for lots of little bags of it during trick or treating, and they were among the first of the confections devoured on Halloween night. 

Sonia? Not so much. She thinks candy corn is kinda gross. But she still enjoyed this product because, in her words, "the candy corn presence is subtle." I see where she's coming from. It's not really an overpowering flavor. Candy corn haters may enjoy it despite an aversion to classic candy corn.

On the texture front, we're looking at nice, big, whole, popped corn kernels. They're fresh and crunchy. They'd be fluffy white if not coated in that slightly waxy, firm, sugary glaze. There are three colors in the bag: yellow, orange, and clear. I wouldn't have minded if they were three different flavors...but I guess that wouldn't be true to the candy corn theme.

It's a nice combination of two classic junk foods. It's a little addictive, too. Two people just might polish off the bag in one sitting. $1.99 for 5 oz. If I were rich, I'd hand out whole bags of this to the trick or treaters.

If your local store is sold out before your next TJ's run, you could always try melting a bunch of candy corns in the microwave and then dumping them over a bowl of popcorn, but I doubt it would turn out this well. Double fours for this product.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.


Tuesday, September 4, 2018

Trader Joe's ABC Bars


I'm Always Buying Crack at Trader Joe's—not literal crack, just highly-addictive substances that happen to be nice and legal. ABC could stand for so many things here. I might refer to them as they're meant to be called: Almond Butter Cocoa. Or I could ask Sonia to Absolutely Bring the Chewies on our next hike. They're definitely Addictive Bars, Creamy. They're vegan, so they're free of Animal Byproducts, Completely.


Flavor-wise, I might call these Amaretto Blast Cookies. The flavor is almondy—but it's such a sweet almond flavor, I think it tastes a bit like amaretto—though not alcoholic in the least. I think they taste more like amaretto than either almond butter or cocoa, quite honestly. Sonia thinks the cocoa dominates the almond butter slightly. I'm not sure if I agree or not. They're just sweet—but not overly so, nutty, buttery, and not unlike confectionalized amaretto. Scrump-dilly.

Texture-wise, they're surprisingly soft. I might describe the mouthfeel as A Bed of Comfort. They're definitely chewy rather than crunchy, but there's a much greater "melt-in-your-mouth" factor than, say, most "chewy" granola bars or cookies. 

They're gluten-free, so...Absolutely Buy'em Celiac-sufferers. Price-wise, ABC is easy as 1, 2, 3 dollars, with a total of six in the box. That makes them about 50 cents a piece. They are kinda small, but they're rich, dense, and more filling than you might expect. Sonia and I would put them on par with the average Clif, Luna, or Balance bar in terms of hunger-curbing capacity, with a slightly better overall value.

This is another thumbs up from both of us. Sonia will dish out her second four and a half stars in a row. Put me down for four again.

Awesome Bars, Conclusively.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.