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Showing posts with label snacks and desserts. Show all posts
Showing posts with label snacks and desserts. Show all posts

Wednesday, June 29, 2016

Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream

Let's see...be positive. Focus on the good stuff. Look on the bright side of life. There's good in almost everything with a little perspective. That's the proper way to look at life, right? Right?

So, as a proper challenge to that, may I present Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream?

Glass-half-full side first: The pudding sounds good. C'mon, admit it, it does. Even with some mango fatigue setting in, this kinda sticks out if you happened to glance upon it on the refrigerated shelf. Even without the lid's suggestion, as a small breakfast time treat, or a little snacky or dessert, it certainly sounds like an indulgence on the probably healthyish side. And hey, dairy-free for those who that's a concern for.

Then, there's everything else.

It's debatable between the wife and I about what's precisely wrong with the puddin'. My stance: it's the texture. It's kinda stiff and chunky and feels kinda slimy. There's some coconut strips in there that add an odd little fibrous bite that seems a little out of place. And then there's all the chia seeds...the cup's full of them. Top to bottom. That's just too many. Also, I'm not entirely sure if it would have been better if the seeds were, actually, you know, seed-like with a little crunch or something to them - because instead they just seem wet and bloated and soggy with scarecely any difference between them and the rest of the pudding.

That's what bugs me. What bothers Sandy: the taste. Admittedly, it doesn't taste like much at all. Mangos are naturally full of sugar, so it ought to taste sweet, right? You'd think...but maybe somehow the coconut dulls it all out, because there's next to nothing going on here. I mean, kinda look at it - it looks like it tastes. Gray. Lifeless. Just kinda there and not much else. Okay, there is a little something to it...but nothing all that much. I'm usually not a guy in favor of things like added sugar, but this could really use something to liven up the flavor a bit.

This kinda glop is usually right up Sandy's alley. She took two small tastes and made a huge "Bleccccch" face before handing over to me. I tried, and what promptly followed were two in-depth conversations: 1) Should we return it? We decided not to, because TJ's is 20 minutes away and not on our usual daily commute currently with M's preschool out. and 2) Is it okay to use the words "mango boogers" in my review? I mean, that's what first came to mind...I win, this is my review!

I've yet to hear anything positive about this mango pudding, so maybe, as our brightside takeaway, we can all be united on how not good it is. Sandy gave it a 0, I'm not much higher.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Mango Chia Pudding with Cultured Coconut Cream: 1 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, June 27, 2016

Trader Joe's Mango Mango Mochi


Just a little quickie here to jump start the week: TJ's Mango Mango Mochi. As if you haven't heard the word "mango" enough these past couple weeks, TJ's just had to squeak it into the title of this product not once, but TWICE. I guess it's because they use mango sorbet as well as mango jam filling. 

The jam doesn't really seem like a separate flavor to me at all—but it might add a hint of extra creaminess to the center of the mochi even when it's frozen solid. Otherwise, these are almost exactly like the Mango Mikawaya Mochi that Trader Joe's has carried for years. Now I'm not going to say this stuff is Mikawaya brand, because I couldn't tell you if that's the case for sure, but I will say that it's extremely similar in taste and texture. Actually, now that I think about it, Mikawaya is based in California and this product is imported from Thailand, according to the box. So...probably not Mikawaya.


This product has a great mango-esque flavor, but it is particularly sweet—which is totally fine by me, but then again, I do have a sweet tooth. Mochi and mango are generally a pretty good combo...well, okay, there was this one instance where they were a little goofy together. I'd probably still choose vanilla or strawberry flavor first, but by and large, mango and mochi are friends.

Mochi and mushroom, however...

Four stars from me. Sonia will go with three and a half.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Thursday, June 23, 2016

Almondina Original Almond Biscuits

The good people at Almondina sent me a birthday present. It might have something to do with this fine blog we run here, but two packages of the low-fat cookies arrived in the mail about two weeks ago, and Sonia and I enjoyed them enough to allow them to join an extremely exclusive, elite group of non-Trader Joe's brand foods that have been reviewed here on our blog, including Espiral Vinho Verde WineGum's the Word Sugar Free Gum, and Mikawaya Mochi Ice Cream

As was the case with the products in those previous posts, Almondina is widely available at Trader Joe's stores, although it's not sold exclusively there.

These thin, crunchy biscuits are clearly optimized for dunking in coffee, tea, milk, or what-have-you, but they also make a nice stand-alone snack. The texture is great. It's not unlike types of biscotti I've tried, but perhaps a little thinner and less rigid.

I'll be honest, the cookie part alone is decent, especially considering it's so low in fat, salt, and cholesterol, but it probably wouldn't have done it for me by itself. The true genius of these cookies is the way almonds and raisins are seamlessly woven into the fabric of the confection—in fact, almonds constitute a full 24% of the product, a fact that's easily believed just by visually inspecting the biscuits. The fruit, nut, and cookie elements blend together well and make for a highly versatile breakfast/snack/dunkable/dessert.

Sonia and I will both throw out solid fours for these tasty, low-guilt treats. "Really darn good" all the way.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, June 14, 2016

Trader Joe's Shooting Stars

Let's take a little break from all that mango madness, shall we? It's a long summer, that's plenty of time to get to all that, right? That's what summer is about - a little break from everything, and pacing yourself a bit...and technically it's still late spring, after all.

All that didn't keep me from taking a little personal break myself last week to enjoy the canyons and mountains in and around Zion National Park. If you're ever out that way on vacation, be sure to look up these guys, they'll be sure to show you a good time...as long as your idea of a good time includes intentionally dangling off a cliff. Much thanks to the Rodgers for holding down the fort all week, and Nathan and Sonia, enjoy your week doing whatever the heck it is you're doing this week.

Anyways, back to the matter at hand: Trader Joe's Shooting Stars. Yeah, from the packaging and whatnot, they almost look like a TJ's take on those cheapie gas station pyrotechnics. The real truth is a little less exciting than that - chocolate coated shortbread cookies (ho-hum)...but wait? What's this? "Covered in popping candy"!?!?! Now, that sounds like fun!!! Let's do this!

Yes, we've seen this gimmick before with don't-call-them-Pop-Rocks candy, or as the package calls them, "meteorites." Oooh, even more fun! But man...these are on steroids or something. From the moment the package is cracked open, an audible chorus of crackling starts and just won't let up. You get anywhere close to the cookies, you will get popped on - they spark up and explode on the whim of whatever chemistry makes this possible. At one point I was a good two feet away from the nearest cookie and still got nailed on my elbow. Doesn't hurt, of course, but it's as if the cookies have an invisible force field that it dares you to chomp through, like it's not going to go down without a fight.

The popping sensation carries through with each bite too. Crackle crackle crackle, chomp chomp chomp. There is a slight added sugary crunch as a result of the crystals, but not enough to greatly affect the flavor. The star cookies themselves are fairly basic, straightforward chocolate/sugar confections pretty close to the standard "from tree elf to store shelf" variety - of perhaps slightly better quality, perhaps, particularly with the chocolate (as is TJ's tradition).

It's really the popping candy that makes these cookies worth note - heck, without them, Sandy and I would probably pass right on by and not even notice. As a nice little bonus, our kiddos seem a little wary of being sparked by their dessert, so we just might have this whole box to ourselves. We don't recall the exact price, but it was somewhere in the neighborhood of $3 - if you know, drop us that knowledge. It's a fun, silly, gimmicky purchase that we probably won't make often, but will enjoy while we can.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Shooting Stars: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Thursday, June 9, 2016

Trader Joe's Mango Sorbet Bon Bons with Chocolate Coating

Let's just lay it out on the table here that I'm no bon bon expert. In fact, prior to these little guys, I don't know that I've ever had a proper bon bon in my whole life. They're usually just little round chocolates, right? And I've heard of ice cream bon bons. But sorbet? Heck, why not? The product development guys knew that as long as there was "mango" in the title, Big Joe was going to green-light the concept. Where's the Mango Cookie Butter, you guys? We're waiting on mango cookie butter here.

But seriously, the best thing these balls of chocolate and sorbet have going for them is their frozenness. It has been quite warm here this past week or so, and I keep gravitating toward these bon bons if only because they're cold. And they're surprisingly low in calories, considering how indulgent they seem—just 90 for two bon bons. 

It's a very sweet sorbet that does indeed taste like real mango, but more sugary. Then they added a significant layer of deep dark chocolate. As far as refreshment goes, Sonia and I both wish we could have the sorbet sans the chocolate. We also think the flavor pairing is a little goofy, although we both agree that it has grown on us just slightly since our first respective bites. 

Of course, I'd like to try this sorbet with a milk chocolate shell. And even though it will never ever happen, like not in a million years, I'd like to try it with white chocolate, too. I guess I'm alone there. Every time I mention white chocolate around Trader Joe's types, I just get WTF's and blank stares. Such is my life.

Sonia says she's "not a fan of morphing chocolate and fruit with the exception of chocolate covered strawberries." I'm pretty sure she means "mixing" chocolate and fruit. Marrying? Mingling? Merging? Meshing? Any of those would work. In Sonia's defense, she's fluent in Spanish. And I can't learn that confounded language to save my soul.

But back to the bon bons. I think they were $3.99 for 12. They're worth a whirl if you think mango and chocolate sound good together. Like I said, the sorbet is very good and very mangoey. I just think the chocolate clashes with it a little bit. I'll give this product three and a half stars. Sonia can't muster enthusiasm for more than three.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, June 8, 2016

Trader Joe's Mango Coconut Flavored Caramel Corn

As I've mentioned before, I'm not a huge fan of plain old caramel corn. But if you jazz it up a bit, I'll at least give it a try. And this product is sexified well beyond the status of standard snacking caramel corn.

I'll admit, Sonia was way more excited about trying this than I was. To say I was skeptical would be an understatement. But this is possibly the best caramel corn I've ever had. 

It's still not my favorite style of junk food, but the flavor of this popcorn is really, really interesting. Both Sonia and I agree it tastes way more like coconut than mango. You kind of have to use your imagination to even detect mango flavor.

Although, it just dawned on us that we're already going through some form of mango overload. We've both tried about six of these new mango products now—and we're worried that our taste buds require greater and greater doses of the tropical treat. A similar phenomenon occurs with pumpkin each fall. But this is week 1, year 1 of the mango madness marathon. Not sure if we can go the distance on this one if we're already requiring increased quantities of the juicy Asian stone fruit.

But perhaps a more likely explanation is that this product simply doesn't taste that much like mango. And that's not a bad thing. The title of the product is a bit misleading, but we'll forgive Big Joe for that one. Because it's delicious anyway. The last product we reviewed was heavy on the mango, and not nearly as heavy as I would have liked it to be in the coconut department. Well, dear old Mr. Coconut has gotten his revenge with this caramel corn. It's just like regular caramel corn, texture-wise, but it tastes just like coconut. There's still a good bit of that sweet, traditional, caramel flavor, too—but who'd have guessed it would blend so well with coconut flavor?

In all seriousness, there is a whisper of mango as well, particularly at the finish. It's just very subtle. And that's all it needs to be here.

In summary, if you like caramel corn and coconut, this just might be your new favorite food. Four stars from me. Four and a half from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, June 7, 2016

Trader Joe's Mango Bar Bites

Mango madness is right. Or as multiple readers, commenters, and tweeters have put it: "Mango is the new pumpkin." 

Just as TJ's blasts us with pumpkin and pumpkin spice products each fall, they have utterly overwhelmed us with mango products for this spring/summer season. Pumpkins and mangoes are both orange, they're both fruits (technically), and Trader Joe is apparently madly in love with both of them. My head is literally spinning right now from all the new mango products. Okay, not literally. That would mean it's time to call an exorcist. But what I really need is a good personal trainer to help me work off all these mango products, which, unfortunately for me and my summer beach bod (or lack thereof), are mostly—but not exclusively—treat-ish, dessert-esque indulgences.

As of the time of publishing this review, I've tried exactly three of these new mango products. One exceeded my expectations, one fell short of them, and this one was somewhere in the middle. I think I might have been more impressed if not for two little factors here—the first being Trader Joe's Lemon Bars. They're essentially the same product, but lemon flavored. Not sure why they added the "bites" to this product name, because they're exactly the same size and shape. In fact, they're very similar in every other way. They even have the same type of packaging, the same preparation process, and the same fonts on the box. But the Lemon Bars are lemon...in case you hadn't figured that out by now. And I love me some lemon. And they nailed that sweet, tangy lemon dessert flavor pretty darn well.

Likewise, these bars taste like actual mango fruit, but in a sugary, desserty, confectionized form. Really nothing to complain about. I guess I just like lemon more than I like mango. But these bars have the same soft, supple, creamy texture, and a nice sweet, mangoey finish. I'm certain mango fans will love them.

The second thing that kept me from absolutely adoring these bars was the lack of coconut shavings. I really liked what little was there. It added a lot to both the taste and texture, and I wouldn't have minded, like, maybe three or four times the amount that was actually included. It blended with the mango pretty well, and it added some substance to the bars. It made for a nice summery, tropical kind of feel, and I think even more of it might have enhanced that vibe even further.

Sonia thinks they taste just as much like passionfruit juice as they do mango, and for her, that's a good thing. I'm not sure if I agree with that or not. But we do both agree that these mango bars are good overall, just not as good as the lemon bars.

All in all, these are a nice refreshing dessert with a good balance of actual mango flavor and sweetness. We'll go with double three and a half's again.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Tuesday, May 31, 2016

Trader Joe's Parsnip Chips

Some of you may remember our little discussion about these chips from a podcast episode back in February. We discovered that, according to a local TJ's manager, they were only selling these chips on the west coast. So Sonia and I took a little road trip this past weekend...

Actually, no. We just found these guys at the Marlton Trader Joe's store. We were super excited. Apparently they do sell them on the east coast now. So to continue our streak of interesting root vegetable products featuring beetsjicama, and now parsnips, let's take a look at these unusual chips.

In appearance and texture, they're not unlike sweet potato chips I've tried. They're not quite as yellow/orange as that, though. I'd say they're a tad more pale, but there is an amber hue to them. 

They're definitely salty, but they're also much sweeter than I expected them to be. Maybe it's because I haven't had a plate of parsnips in a while, but I didn't think I'd be getting much natural sugariness at all. I checked the ingredients for some kind of sweetener. Nope. Just parsnips, oil, and salt. So...parsnips are naturally sweet. Who knew? (Most of our readers, probably.) But this foodie-hack sure didn't. It also says so on the back of the bag, but I rarely read those things before wolfing down a good portion of the product first.

They're beautifully crunchy and firm and just slightly oily and salty to the touch. There's just the tiniest hint of leatheriness, for lack of a better term. It's not at all unpleasant, though. If anything, the consistency of these parsnip chips is more pleasant than regular potato chips. 

Flavor-wise, they're somewhere in between sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, carrots, and bananas—there's also a distinct similarity to plantain chips. There's a subtle earthiness involved, but it's mostly just a salty, sweet, delightfully snackable taste.

Four stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Monday, May 23, 2016

Trader Joe's Just Beets Dehydrated Beet Chips

Now we know where all that beet juice came from.

Somehow, these little dehydrated beet chips—or "crisps," you know, in case you speak British—are almost as beety as their juicy counterpart, yet much more palatable to me. In fact, I'd rather eat these chips than regular beets—and if you didn't read the beet juice review, I mentioned that I feel pretty neutral about normal beets. 
So, I guess you could say my feelings about these chips are somewhat positive. I like the lack of sliminess


I love the texture of chips—and that's exactly what these feel like: thin, kettle-cooked potato chips, with maybe a hint of a baked potato chip type feel, a la Stax or Pringles. Mind you, they taste nothing like that. They taste just like beets. So I feel pretty indifferent about the flavor. But the nice texture puts my overall feelings just slightly better than neutral. 

But I could never be as positive about them as my wife is. Again, just for review, she's a big beet fan. Loving the flavor of beets and the texture of chips, Sonia says this product is one of her favorite new foods so far this year. Some of her earthy, health-food-loving friends appreciated them as much as she did. 

I can't imagine these will be universally popular, especially among junk-food-lovers, but they'll undoubtedly find a crowd that appreciates them way more than I do. And Sonia insisted that I point out the fact that the entire bag has only 140 calories and half a gram of fat. Plus, there's only one ingredient: just beets—how appropriate.

Three stars from me. An enthusiastic four and a half from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, May 17, 2016

Trader Joe's Marshmallows

Ever since we got a fire pit for our backyard last summer, I've eaten more marshmallows than I have since I was about thirteen years old. It's not even that I like marshmallows that much—it's just that when you have a fire going, that's what you do. You roast marshmallows. And I must admit, when you get those beautifully golden-brown specimens, it's totally worth it. I do like the taste and texture of a perfectly fire-toasted marshmallow—although I'm not particularly skilled at it myself (see pic below). And who doesn't like s'mores?

With Trader Joe's offering, you're not eating a bunch of unpronounceable chemicals. I mean, we've all heard some scary things about carrageenan—and I'm not sure why they slipped something like that in this otherwise "healthy" marshmallow—but I'll take tapioca syrup and cane sugar over corn syrup and dextrose any day of the week. And indeed, they do taste better than traditional marshmallows, too, at least in my humble opinion.

Sonia thinks they taste more "sugary" than, say, Kraft marshmallows. I see where she's coming from. Especially raw, it almost feels like you can detect the cane sugar granules as you chew them. The tapioca gives them a very unique mouthfeel as well. Just think of a really tasty bowl of evaporated tapioca with a bunch of cane sugar to add sweetness, then congealed in a marshmallow shape.

Sonia and I had some at our little camping excursion this past weekend. (It's still "camping," even if it is in our own backyard...right?) I'd say they taste more like traditional marshmallows after they've been toasted—that is, it would be much harder to distinguish the Trader Joe's marshmallow and the traditional marshmallow in a blind taste-test if both specimens were toasted. I'm pretty sure I could do it if they were both raw.

I didn't feel like they puffed up as much as normal marshmallows on the fire. They browned around the edges okay, they got nice and soft, and they had that traditional yummy goo in the center, but they more or less maintained their original dimensions even after heating. 



Raw, toasted, or in a s'more, these guys deliver. Sonia and I both think that, as marshmallows go, these are among the best we've tried. With a long summer of campfires ahead, we'll undoubtedly buy more in the near future. Four stars a piece.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Trader Joe's Eggplant Garlic Spread with Sweet Red Peppers

 As you may have heard on our last podcast, the spreads shelf is one I commonly ignore at Trader Joe's. It's not out of any ill will...it's just I'm much more apt to go for some salsa or hummus before checking there for a spready snack. So when given the challenge to find something I've never tried, it was kinda an easy call to scope out that section.

What's not as easy is to discern my opinion on Trader Joe's Eggplant Garlic Spread with Sweet Red Peppers. I...really don't have much of one. But I have a couple thoughts. Listen, I'm not gonna dock something just because it's not in my usual gustatory wheelhouse. But when something just kinda tastes like cold, wet, stringy veggie mush, without much else, I'm gonna call it as I see it. That's the case here. There's maybe a little red pepper or tomato sweetness, but not garlic or anything else to really add any dimension. I mean, "garlic" is right in the product name, I should be able to taste it!

Sandy's not huge on it either. But we're both not against the eggplant spread...there could be some very good redeeming qualities that we're just ignorant enough to overlook...and we're all for healthy snacks and appetizers and whatnot. We'd both eat this if served at a party or if we were invited somewhere. But to buy it for ourselves? Nah, probably not again, even though it's just a couple bucks. "Meh" is exactly how we feel, so a meh score is exactly what it's gonna get.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Eggplant Garlic Spread with Sweet Red Peppers: 4 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Thursday, May 5, 2016

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Ginger

Here's a confession I have no problem making: Not only did I not have high hopes for Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Ginger, I really didn't want to try it either. It's not that ginger and chocolate can't work together - they can - but...big crystallized ginger bites. We have a history. It's not good. But, here we go. Why? Check out our forthcoming podcast episode.

Thankfully, all my trepidation aside: I actually like these. They're not going to be my newest BSFF (best snack food friend), but I will be sad to see this now nearly-empty container go. It's got to be the chocolate - there's a good, thick coat of the typical high-quality TJ's dark chocolate indigenous to all their other candies - with an added firmness and crunch from the candy lacquer. The middles are that formerly formidable crystal chunks that I usually like in only small doses. That softer core adds a nice textural change up, while that chocolate tampers down that fierce ginger bite into something more palatable.

These Raisinet-sized bites do hit a certain balance. On one hand, when I need a chocolate fix, they deliver. But I can eat way too much chocolate. Thankfully, the ginger, while pairing well enough with the chocolate, still makes odd-enough bedfellows that make eating more thana small handful seem like not the best of ideas.

Both Sandy and I enjoy them, not sure who likes them more. I got a good laugh when she thought at first they were the new cocoa-covered coffee beans...oh, the face she made. Priceless. Anyways, it's $4.99 for the tub, and worth a try.




Bottom line: Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Ginger: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Tuesday, May 3, 2016

Trader Joe's Dark Chocolate Covered Peaberry Coffee Beans

The whole chocolate-covered espresso bean/coffee bean thing is growing on me. Bite-sized blasts of earthy cocoa, sugar, and caffeine were never my go-to pick-me-up, but even non-coffee drinkers like me have to admit, there's a lot of good stuff going on here.

I've had quite a few different brands and varieties of this sort of snack, but this is probably the best one I've tried so far. Sonia agrees, and she's far more into coffee and its derivative products than I am. There's a delightful depth to the taste of these beans that blends seamlessly with the bittersweet chocolate. Everything from the crunch of the beans to the texture of the coating is on-point and amazing. 

When I walk into a coffee shop, I always smell the enticing aromas of roasting beans and steaming milk, but when I purchase that rare cup of coffee or espresso, I'm almost always let down. Even with the best blends, I always feel like the taste of coffee can't compete with its fantastic fragrance. Not here. These beans taste like that coffee shop smells: sweet, rich, robust, and downright delicious.

The biggest drawback to these peaberry beans is the inevitable urge to eat way more than you should in one sitting—not just for the calorie count, but also because you'll be buzzing and bouncing well into the night. If you want to play a really mean trick on someone, give them a tub of these treats right before bedtime and watch them try to eat just one.

Sonia will go with four and a half stars for these comestible coffee beans. I'm still not the biggest coffee bean backer or dark chocolate devotee in the world, but I can't go with less than four here.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Friday, April 29, 2016

Trader Joe's Island Salsa

Memorial Weekend is only about a month away! You know what that means - the unofficial start of summer and all that. And that means vacation time! For a lot of you out there, that means one big thing: the beach.

Listen: I'm not opposed to beaches. I can spend a day there and reasonably relax. But maybe it's my fair gingery complexion that causes sunburn too easily, or my general aversion to sand in uncomfortable places, but given the choice, send me off to the mountains (cannot wait for a weekend canyoneeering in Zion National Park in June). For the whole family, we have our sights set on a Pirates road trip which true to tradition will probably include a stop at TJ's and a zoo. We'll probably spend a day at Presque Isle (best lake beach!) but other than that, islands? Beaches? All that? not in our plans.

Buuuuuuut...if you want to send your tastebuds on an early tropical vacation, you can easily pick up a jar of Trader Joe's Island Salsa. $2.99 on your local TJ shelf.

Even for us admittedly nonbeachy folks, this is some good, good salsa. The mango and pineapple base offers a sweet citrusy opening flourish that, while a little cloyingly candylike, quickly resides. In the middling transition, there's a quick hit of the bell peppers and onions before ending up with a mostly subtly spicy bow. Now, I said mostly. Depending on perspective, if you get the right or wrong bite into one of the very ripe red jalapenos, the heat goes up quite noticeably. But if that happens, just pop in another bite real quick, and chances are, the smooth sweetness will soothe your burning buds.

Like most fruit salsas, it is kinda delicate in flavor. The salsa was a great accompaniment for some tortilla chips, and atop a mahi mahi burger....heaven. Grilled chicken would also be a great pairing, whereas things like beef tacos I wouldn't see as much, unless you're into that kinda thing. 

I'm not quite sold on the word "chunky" in the description, though. Really, the whole salsa flows fairly alike to crushed pineapple, so there are small little chunks, but no mega veggie or fruit boulders. I guess if pressed I could say chunky, but to me, it's much in the moderate middle between smooth and chunky.

Also, as a huge bonus for my beloved wife: no tomatoes. None. That's got to be the reason she gives it a perfect five. I'm not able to ask her, since she's not quite 18 months old yet, but I'd love to know what my younger daughter B thinks - she was eating this by the spoonful as happy as could be. Well, until she caught that one jalapeno...but even though, after making a face for a couple minutes, she went back for more. Regardless, Sandy in a rare flash of exuberance goes with an all-out perfect five for her score. I want to go there myself, but fruit salsa aren't my bag, but this is undoubtedly the best fruit salsa I've had that I can remember (at least in the jarred grocery category)...alright, alright, we'll Pantheon it.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Island Salsa: 9.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, April 25, 2016

Trader Joe's Blueberry Breakfast Biscuits

Being an adult is great. I mean, aside from bills and responsibilities and stuff. But otherwise, it's a pretty good deal. You get to whatever you want whenever you want, and in a childhood dream come true for me, you can eat whatever you want when you want. Want to eat three breakfasts a day? Go for it. Pizza for breakfast, tacos for lunch, ice cream for dinner? Why not? I mean, your cardiologist may disagree, and it'd be prudent to mix in a salad, but that's not what I mean. I mean: you can do that if you want to. No one can stop you. That, to me, is awesome.

So, conceivably, you can have cookies for breakfast. But maybe to feel better about it, we can call them something else. The little lies we tell ourselves to get through, I guess, or maybe, if we're spotted crushing cookies down the cram hole by the stray child , we can say, "Oh these aren't cookies. These are Trader Joe's Blueberry Breakfast Biscuits."

Yup. "Biscuits" is what they're going with here. Bwahahaha. No way. These things are cookies through and through. I mean, they're even sold right alongside all the other cookies, and not in the energy/breakfast bar area.

These cookies biscuits  morning-minded munchers are pretty tasty, though. For its basic concept, think of a more granular oblong graham cracker, and thant's fairly close in both taste and texture. There's a little something extra, though, and it's not the blueberries. Vaguely familiar, tip of tongue, couldn't quite place it till scanning the ingredients - rye flakes. There's a pretty hefty dose - not enough to be offensive or anything, but it definitely adds a blueberr-rye dimension. The berries themselves are of the typical dried variety, and intermittently and unevenly sprinkled through out - some wafers were sans berries, others where blue enough from berries to look almost like a flattened Smurf.

As you can probably see, these are some fragile biscuits too. I did nothing to those pictured except the normal rigors of a morning commute to my desk, and I got left with a pile of pieces. So, they're probably not the best for on the go, like while driving, unless you don't mind brushing a dusting of vaguely greasy crumbs off your shirt.

And don't count on them for a full breakfast. A good morning snack, or part of a healthy breakfast, with some yogurt perhaps? Sure. The biscuits were a welcome addition to my usual apple and coffee workweek breakfast, but despite all that fiber, I was still hungry for lunch not all that much later than usual.

Anyways, the wife and both like them, as do our kiddos when we let them have a munch. Save the morning cookies for the adults, kids. For only about $3 or $4 for a fivepack each with four in there, it's not a bad deal, either. These aren't my favorite things ever, but they're good enough to warrant a repeat purchase already, and I'd love to see these expanded into different flavors..like, say, cherry? Sounds delish to me. Matching 3.5s.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Blueberry Breakfast Biscuits: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Wednesday, April 20, 2016

Trader Joe's Organic Chia Bar

Compacted trash? LOL. I can see where Marvo is coming from, but I don't think these look that bad. They're just a bunch of smooshed-together ingredients, crushed into a bar shape, similar to the fruit + fruit bars we've seen in the past—except these have lots of seeds and nuts, not just fruits.

Texture-wise, they're exactly what you'd expect: a granola-esque, chewy vibe, with a little extra grittiness from the chia seeds. They're not tough in any way, but neither are they smooth. The dried fruit serves as a virtual "glue" binding the other ingredients together with its natural stickiness. I mean, I guess the organic syrups help in that department, too. There's plenty of sticky stuff holding these bars together—they're definitely not going to fall apart in your hands, yet they're not super sticky to the touch, either. All in all, they feel pretty pleasant, particularly if you're into granola bars.

And they're shockingly tasty. I'm still not even sure where all that flavor's coming from. There are a lot of "healthy" sugars and sweeteners in there: organic brown rice syrup, organic agave syrup, and organic cane sugar. For someone with a sweet tooth like me, these bars hit the spot pretty well, despite having a bunch of hippie ingredients tossed into the mix. And don't get me wrong, I like most hippie ingredients just fine, but coming from a generation that grew up thinking of chia as nothing more than the "fur" on a weird, ceramic animal you'd put in your kitchen windowsill, it's still a bit strange to be eating snacks with chia seeds as the main attraction. But interestingly enough, the chia pet people have joined the club and are now marketing chia as something healthy to eat, as well as the head of spiky green hair on a ceramic SpongeBob SquarePants.

My main complaint about these is that they're a little on the small side. Granted, they're extraordinarily filling for their size, but I still wouldn't have minded a bit more material per bar. Four stars from me. Four from Sonia, who thinks that the texture is a little weird, but loved the flavor so much, she almost went with four and a half.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, April 12, 2016

Trader Jacques' Lemon Meringue Tarte

To me, few things in life are as exciting as the start of the NHL playoffs. (Go Caps!) But new lemon-flavored TJ's products just might be on that short list—because the store has an excellent track record in that department. And as is the case with professional ice hockey, you're bound to run into a French name or two in the world of TJ's fine desserts. Bonjour, Jacques!

There's a layer of sweet and sour lemony goodness right at the heart of this pastry. It's tart and tangy and has pretty much everything lemonophiles are looking for. The crust is buttery and thin and adds a bit of firmness to the otherwise airy dessert. It's so good, if anything, I wish there were more of it.

In the past, Sonia has complained about meringue getting in the way of her enjoyment of similar pies and tartes on the basis that it's "too eggy." Not here. The meringue is a very neutral, lightly-sweet whipped topping—the literal icing on the cake...er, pie...er, tarte. Also, it's lightly toasted around the edges, as seen in the photo to the right.

Sonia also raved about the presentation of this product, pointing out the perfect little peaks of meringue all evenly-spaced on the top of the pie. Although, in our box, about a third of the meringue came off of the pie and stuck to the plastic lid when we removed it. It was simple enough to scrape it off and re-apply it to the tarte, but still should be noted in case you're buying this for the dessert table at some uber-formal event or something.

All in all, this is another lemony win for TJ's. It's definitely something Sonia and I could see ourselves purchasing again. $5.49 for four servings. Not super cheap, but worth it. Four and a half stars from Sonia, four from me.


Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, April 11, 2016

Trader Joe's Cranberry Coconut Snacking Crackers

 Much like hockey, reggae, and amateur competitive facial hair cultivation, there's a lot that I *want* to like about Trader Joe's Cranberry Coconut Snacking Crackers....but I just can't. Sorry.

It's probably unfair, but the wheat snack crackers I compare all others to are Wheat thins - light, crispy, irresistibly munchy. That's kinda the standard. Well, these wheaty wafers are wanting in comparison. They're much denser, and heavier, without that nice requisite crunch, and they somehow dry up the entire inside of my digestive system. Literally, after just three or few, I'm coughing up crumbs everywhere.

 

These crackers do taste somewhat okay, though. Aside from the textural shortcomings, there's nothing all that wrong with the actual cracker itself. I can see but not taste the coconut flakes, mostly because it's too subtle a flavor compared to the wheaty base, the raisins and cranberries (nothing much to say about them)...or the sesame seeds. Umm, who invited those to the party? While not completely unwelcome, it's an odd add-on to say the least.


 I think it says something that in a household of three carb-crazed adults and two kiddos who will happily devour anything that can reasonably be called a "cracker" that we still have over half the modest sized  bag of them remaining after a few weeks now. I think there's potential - I bet a good piece of chevre could put in quite the assist - but neither Sandy nor I particularly enjoy them. We'd love to, but it just ain't there. Matching twos.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's  Cranberry Coconut Snacking Crackers: 4 out of 10 Golden Spoons