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Showing posts with label really darn good. Show all posts
Showing posts with label really darn good. Show all posts

Friday, February 10, 2023

Trader Joe's Pizza Sprinkle Seasoning Blend

Whenever Sonia and I purchase a new seasoning blend from Trader Joe's, we like to kick things off with a little brainstorming session about what we could potentially do with our newfound condiment. With this one, I immediately thought of turning our run-of-the-mill everyday quesadillas into little Mexican-Italian fusion pizzas.

It might have come off a little blasphemous to the beautiful wifey, since quesadillas are to her like bread and butter are to us white folks. But before she could object, I reminded her of the wise words of Ted Lasso: You don't bring an umbrella to a brainstorm.

And in no time flat, I had a flour tortilla topped with a slice of mozzarella warming in the microwave. About 30 seconds later, I was administering a dusting of Trader Joe's Pizza Sprinkle Seasoning Blend over the subject of my culinary experiment.

And voila, the fastest, easiest pizza in the history of mankind was born. I mean...you could argue those pizza Lunchables are even easier, since you don't even need to warm them. Although, let's face it: they're kinda gross.


My pizzadilla creation was surprisingly not gross, though I suppose I'm a bit biased, and a lot would depend on the type of tortilla you used and whether you used good cheese or not. A lot would depend on using the right amount of this seasoning, too. Too much could easily overpower a simple, mild cheese like mozzarella. Just a dusting and not much more seemed to work quite well in this instance.

I could see us finding dozens of different uses for this seasoning blend. Pizzadillas, pizza fries, pizza pasta, pizza burgers, pizza veggies, pizza omelettes? Trader Joe's Pizza Sprinkle Seasoning Blend will get a thumbs up from both Sonia and me.


$2.99 for the shaker. Four stars from Sonia. Four and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, February 8, 2023

Trader Joe's Gummy X's & O's


Finally, they thought of something other than hearts to represent Valentine's Day: X's and O's. That's clever. Hugs and kisses. I like it.

Following in the footsteps of other great letter-shaped foods like Alphabet Soup, Newman's Own Alphabet Cookies, and of course, Trader Joe's Sour T's and J's, I had reasonably high expectations for these sweet gummy letters. And all things considered, they didn't disappoint.

There's a distinct Swedish Fish vibe to these Trader Joe's Gummy X's and O's. I mean these taste more like legit Swedish Fish than the Scandinavian Swimmers did. But as per TJ's usual, these candies don't contain any HFCS, and all the colors are derived from fruits and vegetables.

Texture-wise, they're just about perfect. They're soft and pliable enough to start chewing away immediately, even if the temperatures are below average. They don't get super stiff in the cold. Or if you're blessed with the gift of patience and you want to make each one last longer, they're also fun to suck on for a while like you might a piece of hard candy.

$3.49 for the 14 oz bag. Fourteen ounces is actually a LOT of gummy candy. As good as they are, I think it'll take us a while to finish the package. Thankfully, it's resealable. Four stars from Sonia, four stars from me on Trader Joe's Gummy X's & O's.

As I close here, I'll leave you with the following question: when do A, B, C, D, E, F, G, H, I, K, L, M, N, P, Q, R, S, U, V, W, Y, and Z have their day in the sun at Trader Joe's?

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls


Every time I go to the grocery store and get cold cuts, cheese, greens, and plain wheat or white bread, there's a process that inevitably follows over the next few days in our kitchen. On the first couple days, if I get hungry around lunch time, I remember we have sandwich stuff, and I make a sandwich, and it hits the spot.


After the first few days, I try to think of something...anything other than a sandwich for lunch because I'm tired of the same thing day after day, but then I realize it's just Sonia and me and I better eat a sandwich before one of the ingredients spoils. By the end of the tub of cold cuts or the loaf of bread, I'm only eating the sandwich out of a sense of obligation to not let anything go bad, and then I don't want homemade sandwiches for a long time.

I present to you the remedy for this conundrum: Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls. No matter how many times I make sandwiches with this stuff, it never tastes or feels boring. It always feels like I went out to a cafe and had some professional sandwich artist craft some deli-fresh food of the gods just for me.

The bread itself is great quality and the "everything" seasonings just throw it over the top. There's onions, garlic, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, and sea salt in the mix. It's just the right combo to make a sandwich feel uncommon, even if it did just come from my own kitchen.

$2.49 for four rolls. Sonia and I will definitely purchase again. Four and a half stars a piece on Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Monday, January 23, 2023

Trader Joe's Organic Crumbled Feta Cheese


When I was a kid, I had allergies to a few very common foods including cow's milk and dairy-based cheeses. My mother had the same allergies, so our family did a rotation diet where we'd eat soy milk one day, rice milk the next day, then nut milks like almond milk, and then finally there was goat milk day. On goat milk day, we could have feta cheese with our meats and salads. I wasn't thrilled with it at first, but it really grew on me over the years. By age ten or eleven, while other kids were turning their noses up at unusual fare like feta cheese, I was seeking it out and educating my Velveeta-loving friends about the tangy, flavorful goat milk cheese.

And while Trader Joe's Organic Crumbled Feta Cheese is still tangy and flavorful, it's actually made with cow's milk, which mellows it out just a little bit. It's still undeniably feta-esque in taste and texture, though. Thankfully, I grew out of my food allergies and can eat pretty much whatever I want these days, so the cow's milk isn't an issue.


Trader Joe's Organic Crumbled Feta is a fairly salty cheese, which might turn off some folks, but the briny edge worked well in this instance if you ask Sonia or me. We added it to salads, sandwiches, pasta, and omelettes, among other things. The little tub disappeared fast. I want to say this was our second or third time purchasing this product, and I'm sure we'll get it again.

$3.49 for the tub. Organic. NOT non-dairy. I neglected to snap a pic of the ingredients and nutrition information, so just click here for all of that stuff. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Organic Crumbled Feta Cheese.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Friday, January 20, 2023

Trader Joe's Salmon Rub Seasoning Blend

Salmon, when done right, is right up there with my favorite foods of all time. I'm talking nice sit-down restaurant, cooked and seasoned to perfection, served with lemon, herbs, and some fancy sides. It's hard to beat that in my book. I'd generally prefer top-shelf salmon over steak, chicken, or any other meat.

Unfortunately, I've had my share of sub-par salmon. Trader Joe's has offered up a doozy or two throughout the years. There's also been some good ones, too. Salmon can be done perfectly, or it can be perfectly awful, and there's a whole lot of gray area in between.

But if you're into buying frozen salmon fillets like Sonia and I are, and you're looking for something to take that middle-of-the-run salmon into superb​ territory, Trader Joe's Salmon Rub Seasoning is your new best friend.

It's best when used as an actual rub—that is, put some olive oil on the fish and then sprinkle this seasoning on it and literally rub it in before baking/air frying/grilling your fillet. But honestly, it's not terrible when just sprinkled on already-cooked fish after the fact.


It's the perfect blend of sweet, smoky, and savory. There's no one element that's overpowering, and it enhances the flavor of the fish exquisitely.

A lot of times if something contains a "smoked" ingredient, I find it revolting for some reason. Not this time. There is a faint smoked flavor, for sure, but it doesn't taste like chemicals and it's not overpowering at all. The smoked paprika is very welcome here as it rounds out the brown sugar sweetness and really adds to the flavor profile without being obnoxious.


I'm sure some folks will find it a tad on the sweet side, but Sonia and I both loved it. $2.69 for the 2.6 oz shaker. Four and a half stars a piece for Trader Joe's Salmon Rub Seasoning Blend.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread

One summer during my college years, a fellow student named Tim rented one of the vacant rooms in the house I lived in. As I was going about my business in the common areas one day, I noticed a bowl of...something on the seldom-used dining room table. It looked like a science experiment of sorts and smelled vaguely tart.

Tim later explained that it was sourdough starter and that he was going to bake his own bread. He mentioned the sourdough starter needed to rot a bit just sitting at room temperature because that's what made the dough sour. I was a little grossed out but after a day or so, he baked the bread and let me try a bite. It was surprisingly tasty. I mean, I'd obviously had sourdough before, but after seeing it in its primordial form, I didn't expect Tim's batch to taste so good. I've never looked at sourdough the same since.

And if anything, Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread is above average for store-bought pre-sliced sourdough. It's got just the right amount of tang and sourness, and just the right amount of wheat and barley goodness. The texture is just a bit chewier than regular white bread, and it's perfect plain with butter or as the outer layer of a sandwich. It's become one of our regular purchases at TJ's.


I believe it was $2.99 when we bought this last loaf, but it might have gone up recently, as many bread products have. If you feel like getting crafty, there's a recipe for Sweet & Spicy Pimento Grilled Cheese on TJ's official website. It sounds pretty yummy, but what are the odds I'll remember to pick up all those ingredients on the same trip?

Sonia gives Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread four and a half stars out of five. I give it four.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Thursday, January 5, 2023

Trader Joe's Small Batch Vodka

Just a quickie for today: Small Batch Vodka. Made with corn from the heart of Wisconsin and limestone-filtered water, this vodka is distilled ten times. Says so right on the bottle.

I remember hearing what might be an urban legend: if you take cheap vodka and run it through a Brita or PÅ«r type water filter—one that uses carbon or charcoal to cleanse water—you can make more expensive-tasting vodka.

Of course, you ruin your water filters. And they're not cheap. So the money you save by buying cheap vodka is moot point if you're going through expensive Brita filters left and right. I digress.

The point is that Trader Joe's, or rather their buddies at Monroe Brewing Company, have gone ahead and saved you the time and money of purifying your cheap vodka 10 times because they did it themselves.

I've had a few shots of really cheap vodka in my day, and I gotta say, this liquor is much better than the bottom of the barrel stuff. It certainly does have a "clean" taste to it. You'd hope so since it's been distilled 10 times.

The price? A buck for each round of distillation. $9.99 for a fifth. 44% ABV. Pretty darn good vodka for the price if you ask this guy. Sonia agrees, though she's not into vodka as much. Four stars a piece on Trader Joe's Small Batch Vodka.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter

In my hometown growing up, there was a farmer's market my parents liked to go to run by a local Mennonite family. They had all kinds of fresh produce, meats, and baked goods. In the fall, they'd put out scarecrows with pumpkin heads and hay mazes, and they'd sell homemade apple cider and a myriad of pies and goodies.

My absolute favorite part about going there was watching the employees make peanut butter with an old-fashioned hand crank grinder. It was literally nothing but unshelled peanuts going into the hopper, and the purest, rawest peanut butter coming out the other end. They'd put it in a mason jar and weigh it, and that was that.

To this day, that was the best peanut butter I've ever had. It's a simple case of "less is more." And that's exactly what we have here with Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter. Less is more. Nothing but raw almonds in that jar. They didn't even add salt.

Many moons ago, our old Pittsburghian compadre reviewed Trader Joe's Creamy Almond Butter. I remember thinking he was a little harsh on the product since Sonia and I had tried it around the same time and both of us had generally positive sentiments about it.


But both the beautiful wifey and I must admit this raw version is head and shoulders better. The difference? They used dry roasted almonds in the previous version...and added some cashews? Weird.

Trader Joe's is peddling an organic almond butter most recently. Apparently this raw version is not made with certified organic almonds but their new kind is. Also, there was very recently a crunchy version of this raw almond butter which is now discontinued, much to the chagrin of crunchy almond butter fans the world over.

I should also point out that this almond butter isn't technically completely raw, since it has been pasteurized. Does that affect the flavor? Who knows. I've never had unpasteurized almond butter.


The butter itself is both runny and a little gritty—it's a good gritty though. The runniness can vary from serving to serving based on how recently and how vigorously the almond butter has been agitated. You really have to manhandle the stuff the get the semi-solid parts to integrate with the liquids.

$5.99 for the jar. Not exactly cheap, but hey, despite a few weaknesses, Trader Joe's Raw Almond Butter gets a thumbs up from me. We'll go with three and a half stars. 

This is Sonia's new favorite nut butter of all time. She gives it a perfect five out of five.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, December 27, 2022

Ratified & Repealed California Red Wine

There was a big handmade sign reading "Trader Joe's Exclusive!" right next to this Ratified & Repealed wine. Why they can't just slap that TJ's brand logo on the label and make it their own officially, I don't have the foggiest clue. I'm sure there's legal and logistical stuff I don't understand. I think we've averaged one non-Trader Joe's brand product review per year or so anyway. And since this is definitely a Trader Joe's exclusive, it's fair game.

At this point, I think I can safely declare cabernet sauvignon my favorite type of red wine. After cab, I generally gravitate toward "red blends." I mean, as far as I know, red blends are just random types of red grapes all thrown together, so it could be 80% cab in there, or it could be 0% cab. 

Apparently, cabernet and red blends are the two best-selling types of red wines on the market today, so my tastes are somewhat in line with the average American consumer, for whatever that's worth.
This Ratified & Repealed California Red Wine? There might be some cabernet sauvignon in there, but it's oh so much better than your average cab. It's moderately fruity and sweet, lightly acidic, and very smooth. There are subtle hints of earthiness and a nice clean finish with little to no aftertaste.

I'm not even a steak guy, but there's something about this stuff that makes me want to have it with a well-done slab of steak and maybe some roasted veggies on the side. It's such a flavorful wine it needs to be paired with something bold.

Sonia was at least as big a fan as I was, and she's usually a white wine type of gal. $9.99 for the bottle. Would definitely buy again. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Four stars from me for Ratified & Repealed California Red Wine.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.


Friday, December 23, 2022

Trader Joe's Holiday Bow-Wow Brunch


So this stuff is basically rawhide-less rawhide. Our little monsters have only had real rawhide a couple times in their lives. Alfred was always a tad more partial to it than Sadie, but neither dog went crazy for rawhide like they do certain other treats.

Seems like they tried to simulate the appearance and texture of actual rawhide with an unusual amalgam of flours, starches, beef gelatin, and vegetable glycerin. While the product looks and feels vaguely like rawhide while dry, once your dog starts eating it, bits of Trader Joe's Holiday Bow-Wow Brunch break off fairly easily for the dog to chew and then swallow, unlike rawhide which tends to stretch out like a piece of slobbery chewed gum. Also it doesn't smell nasty like the real thing, which is nice.


The package says it's "egg, cheese & bacon flavored." Nothing screams "Christmas" like bacon, egg, and cheese, right? Well, our dogs go nuts for any and all of those ingredients, so not surprisingly, they were quite interested when I opened the pack of treats. There's a smell somewhat reminiscent of bacon, egg, and cheese that wafts from the non-resealable bag once it's opened. It's not a smell that would make a human start to salivate—that is, there's still something dog treat-esque about the scent. But hey, our dogs went nuts, and that's what counts, right?

Alfred immediately began devouring his Holiday Bow-Wow Brunch upon snatching it out of my hand. Sadie ran into another corner of the room and just kind of stared at hers for a while, not sure what to do with the unusual texture. Eventually she began licking hers like a candy cane before nibbling little pieces off. Once she got used to the texture, she wound up loving it and finished her treat just seconds after her brother.


I've decided that since Alfred and Sadie have four paws each that they should score treats on a scale of zero to four paw prints each, for a total of 0-8 possible paw prints, based solely on each of their reactions to the treat. Since everything else on this blog has been scored on a scale of 0-10, Sonia and I will give out one or two extra paw prints based on the presentation, practicality, and overall value of the product.

In the end, this is definitely a four paw print affair from each of our mutts for Trader Joe's Holiday Bow-Wow Brunch. We'll throw out one extra paw print for the festive Christmas theme and clever marketing. About $4 for five candy cane-shaped dog treats.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Friday, December 16, 2022

Trader Joe's Peppermint Hot Chocolate


This was an enthusiastic recommendation from the Trader Joe's clerk. After seeing my bottle of peppermint liqueur, he asked, "Have you tried the peppermint hot chocolate!? It's my favorite this time of year!" Before I could answer, he jumped away from the register and started walking towards the tea and coffee aisle and bid me follow. So I did.

He inserted himself in between the product shelves and some older ladies who looked at him rather indignantly for interrupting their beverage hunt. Having obtained a tin of this peppermint hot chocolate mix, he held it aloft and shouted, "This! Right here! You have to try it!"

Neither Sonia nor I are "must have everything peppermint" people, but I felt like this guy might burst into tears if I said I wasn't interested, and well, you know, trying new-to-us Trader Joe's stuff is kind of a thing we do, so I told him to throw it in with my groceries.


I know this product has been around for years, and you know what? It's pretty darn good. I don't know if I can muster quite the level of enthusiasm that TJ's clerk did, but I definitely see where he's coming from, especially if you're a big fan of peppermint.

The dominant flavor here is peppermint, even more than chocolate I'd say, but somehow it's balanced and tempered. There's no peppermint overload, despite it being peppermint-forward. The chocolate aspects are basically what you'd expect. It's a "bittersweet chocolate" they used. It's a tad richer than your basic sweet milk chocolate and it helps keep the mintiness in check.

We made ours with cow's milk and added whipped cream, so it was nice and creamy and dessert-like. I really can't get into hot chocolate made with water. I suppose if you're in it for the peppermint rather than the chocolate, hot water would do in a pinch.

$4.99 for eight servings, according to the info on the package. I would have guessed closer to 12 servings, but I suppose that depends on how much powder you use and the size of your mug, etc, etc. Four and a half times two from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Peppermint Hot Chocolate.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Wednesday, December 14, 2022

Trader Joe's Middle Eastern Style Kebabs


I don't know what made me pick these up on our last Trader Joe's run. They're not Christmassy or festive at all. I mean, I guess you could argue that the bag is red with green trim. That's sorta holiday-ish, no?

I probably picked up these Middle Eastern Style Kebabs because I love me some Middle Eastern and Mediterranean foods. Also, maybe subconsciously, I knew I'd be watching the World Cup in Qatar and imagining I was there. Apparently, kebabs wrapped in pita are a popular type of Qatari street food. Yum.

And if they're half as good as this offering from Trader Joe's, then they'd be worth a purchase or two. Sonia's definitely a bigger fan of these ground beef kebabs than I am, but I'm not hating on them, either. Let's dig in.


Trader Joe's Middle Eastern Style Kebabs are made with seasoned ground beef, rather than lamb or a combination of both beef and lamb. That's a plus in my book. There are six long, skinny slabs of beef, almost like elongated hamburgers. We used the air fryer to heat them and needed an extra two minutes above what the heating instructions asked for.

Sonia repeatedly remarked that she couldn't believe that the meat had been frozen just a few minutes earlier. It had a texture very similar to that of an American burger, with some bread crumbs mixed into the ground beef. She also adored the peppery, garlicky spice blend. I was thinking they needed just a tad bit of help to put the flavor on par with something close to restaurant quality.

We plated them up with salad and hummus, along with authentic Middle Eastern pita bread. Okay. You got me. It's not even pita. It's a low carb Mission flour tortilla there in the picture. But it served the same purpose and worked remarkably well. I added a piece of havarti cheese to my kebab pita tortilla sandwich thing and made a tasty Latin-Scandinavian-Middle Eastern fusion dish.

I was more than pleased with the overall taste after the cheese and hummus came to the rescue. The kebabs would have been even more delicious with tzatziki sauce. Or maybe some garlic spread. Perhaps zhoug sauce? Any or all of those would have been very welcome in my international meat wrap creation.

Sonia likes the kebabs just the way they are. She has promised to buy more on her very next visit to Trader Joe's. I don't blame her. They're good. I just can't quite muster the same level of enthusiasm for some reason.

$6.99 for six kebabs. Two patties each was more than enough to fill both Sonia and me up for dinner. Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me for Trader Joe's Middle Eastern Style Seasoned Ground Beef Kebabs.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Monday, December 12, 2022

Trader Joe's Cocoa Cream Liqueur


I suppose if you added vodka to a glass of chocolate milk until you had something with roughly 15% alcohol content, it wouldn't be a far cry from what we have here. This beverage is much smoother than that might sound, however, and possibly even a bit more tasty.

Trader Joe's Cocoa Cream Liqueur isn't quite as chocolatey as I might have guessed. But that's okay by me, because it's significantly more creamy than I might have guessed, too. There's a nice balance of flavors. It's not cloyingly sweet like candy, nor is it harsh or astringent in any way.

It even feels like chocolate milk as it slides easily down your throat. It's medium-thick, with about as much body as other products in Trader Joe's holiday cream liqueur line. It's got a very similar texture to the drink we looked at last week: Trader Joe's Peppermint Joe-Joe's Cream Liqueur.


It'd be great with java as a sort of mocha Irish coffee drink. Or you could mix it with hot chocolate, chocolate milk, eggnog, or even another cream liqueur. I'd whip up some chocolate peppermint cocktails if we still had any of the peppermint liqueur on hand.

It was $7.99 just a year or two ago, but it went up to $8.99 in 2022. Even Trader Joe's is susceptible to inflation. All in all, it's another big thumbs up from Sonia and me. Four stars from Sonia. Four and a half from me for Trader Joe's Cocoa Cream Liqueur.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Friday, December 9, 2022

Trader Joe's Decorate Your Own Holiday Ornaments Cookie Kit


It might be an unpopular opinion, but in general, I think food should just be food and decorations should just be decorations. I've never discovered a product that excelled at both simultaneously. And that's to be expected, isn't it? Most edible decorations have been handled excessively before anyone gets the chance to eat them. And if they do, in fact, serve the purpose of ornamentation, well, then...they've likely been sitting out in the open collecting dust, being touched by children and licked by pets for goodness knows how long.

Of course, there are exceptions to every rule. And that's one of the reasons we'll be looking at this classic Trader Joe's Decorate Your Own Holiday Ornaments Cookie Kit. We'll be sure to score based on value and fun-factor, not just on taste and texture of the "baked cookies."

First observation: this is a big box. It's heavy. It's one pound and 4.7 ounces! I think that's the second heaviest food product we've ever purchased from Trader Joe's after the big round tin of Jingle Jangle.


There are three tubes of icing: red, white, and green. The colors aren't particularly vibrant. They're rather drab for holiday red and green. I suppose we can chalk that up to Trader Joe's using natural stuff for colors like vegetable juice, paprika, beet powder, turmeric, and spirulina extract instead of typical man-made dyes. That's fine. It's a trade-off.

There are two of each cookie shape: gift box, Christmas tree, snowman, and snowflake. And there are two little packets of candy decorations, one with tiny snowflakes, candy canes, gingerbread men, trees, and balls of various colors. They also give you shiny golden twist ties to hang the ornaments from your Christmas tree.


They taste like the most boring sugar cookies ever. They're only moderately sweet, and they taste and feel like they were meant to be decorative. The candy sprinkles and icings aren't much better. I honestly wouldn't buy this as a food item. I guess kids might like 'em, but I can't imagine many adults being enamored by the taste and texture of these things. A full cookie contains 300 calories, and that's not even close to worth it by my estimation—especially around the holidays when there are so many super tasty foods available.

But I gotta admit, they're cute. Feel free to critique our handiwork in the comments below. I'm sure your kids made much nicer cookies than we did. We're a little out of practice at decorating edible Christmas ornaments.


$7.99 for eight cookies. We'll offer two separate scores here, one as a food item, and another as a decorative one. Four Christmas stars a piece from Sonia and me as far as a fun family activity and ornamental value are concerned for Trader Joe's Decorate Your Own Holiday Ornaments Cookie Kit. Two grinchy Christmas stars a piece from Sonia and me for the edible aspects of this box of cookies.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10 stars for the fun-factor.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10 stars for the food-factor.

Thursday, December 8, 2022

Trader Joe's Green Goddess Seasoning Blend

Most people you ask will tell you green goddess dressing is characterized by sour cream and mayo content. Trader Joe's seems to have taken the stance that green goddess is defined by its spice blend rather than its creamy base products. I'll back that claim up with exhibit A: Trader Joe's Green Goddess Salad Dressing, a vegan take on the classic condiment. Sonia and I both have an affinity for avocado and avocado-based products, so the lack of dairy and eggs didn't hurt when we scored that product.

Conversely, TJ's isn't hating on the traditional sour cream and mayo combo. As long as it has that lemon, basil, garlic, pepper, and chives blend, it's still worthy of the moniker "green goddess." Exhibit B: Trader Joe's Green Goddess Dip.

And finally, I bring before you exhibit C, a non-vegan green goddess flavored food, void of sour cream and mayo, but still worthy of the name. They didn't call it Gouda with Basil, Garlic, and Chives. They called it Trader Joe's Green Goddess Gouda.

Predictably, Trader Joe's now offers the spice blend in a shaker all by itself so you can make ANYTHING green goddess-style. Green goddess eggs. Green goddess fries. Green goddess popcorn. Green goddess turkey and swiss sandwiches. Green goddess ice cream? Insert something even more ridiculous than green goddess ice cream here. There's even a recipe for Green Goddess Dressing on the side of the shaker, although that's not particularly ridiculous.


It tastes like classic green goddess spices, and it's super convenient. It goes well with just about any salty or savory food you can think of. It's fairly allium-forward, and they didn't overdo it with the salt. The lemon elements are surprisingly potent, as well. It's a very nice flavorful blend.

I'd call it a decent value at $2.49 for 2 oz. I think we're looking at four stars a piece from Sonia and me on Trader Joe's Green Goddess Seasoning Blend.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, December 6, 2022

Trader Joe's Peppermint Joe-Joe's Cream Liqueur

The way the title of this product is written on the label, you might think it should be called Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Pepper Mint Cream Liqueur. First off, we all know "peppermint" is one word. Furthermore, there's no such thing as a Joe-Joe's Pepper Mint. There are, however, Trader Joe's Peppermint Joe-Joe's, and several spinoff varieties thereof. Also, I don't like saying the name "Joe" three times in such succinct succession.

It is therefore more appropriate to call this beverage Trader Joe's Peppermint Joe-Joe's Cream Liqueur. No nutrition information is given anywhere on the bottle because nobody would ever be curious about the ingredients of an alcoholic beverage—never in a million years. High fructose corn syrup? Arsenic? Rat poison? Meh. It's all good. I trust that Trader Joe's and their mysterious third party suppliers have my best interest at heart...

But all sarcasm aside, this is a tasty beverage. There's very little harsh vodka flavor despite the only hint about the libation's composition being a note reading "made with vodka" on the festive, tastefully-designed packaging.

This product sat for a few days before we consumed it. There were a few whispers of sediment at the bottom of the bottle. To my surprise, the sediment wasn't white or pink, but a dark chocolate brown. I think that's the "Joe-Joe's" part of the equation. Like, they put in something chocolatey to approximate the cookie part of the above-mentioned Peppermint Joe-Joe's.


It's mostly a sweet vanilla and peppermint flavor, but there's also something faintly chocolatey. It's quite delicious and surprisingly smooth and velvety. I've heard rumors on the interzones that people make Peppermint White Russians with this stuff. Yikes. That sounds dangerously delicious. Don't let Jeffrey "The Dude" Lebowski know about that recipe.

If we had Kahlua on hand, I'd give you the lowdown. So far, I've just had this stuff on the rocks, and IT. IS. YUMMY. You could easily add more cream if it's too much alcohol for you.

Conversely, you could add more vodka if it's not stiff enough for you. Not that I recommend that. Just sayin'.

We've had pretty good luck with these holiday liqueurs throughout the years. See Trader Joe's Egg Nog and Ginger Bread varieties. Eggnog? Gingerbread? Maybe it is "Pepper Mint" after all.

I digress. $8.99 for the 750 ml bottle. 14.75% ABV. A mere three and a half stars from Sonia, who wants there to be a little more of that chocolatey flavor. Perfect five from me for Trader Joe's Peppermint Joe-Joe's Cream Liqueur.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Friday, November 25, 2022

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Teeny Tiny Pretzels


I've studied our analytics enough to know that nobody reads our blog over Thanksgiving weekend, so here's a throwaway review made special just for today!

Why is it throwaway? Two main reasons. One: people are sick of pumpkin spice by this time of year, including me, sort of. Two: we've already reviewed this product, well, not exactly, but sort of.


The last time we reviewed this product, it was called Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Pretzel Slims rather than Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Teeny Tiny Pretzels. I think we actually complained during that review that the pretzels weren't actual pretzels but just flat pretzel "slims" or skins. 

Well, I guess we should be grateful because these are actual pretzels—teeny tiny pretzels, in fact, in case you hadn't gathered that by the name of the product or the name of this post or the picture of the miniature pretzels on the bag or the picture of the mini pretzels in this review.

Mini pretzels covered in that "yogurt flavored" coating—which functions more like white chocolate than yogurt—with pumpkin spice and pumpkin seeds on top is indeed what we have here, and it tastes exactly like its predecessor. I like this version a tad bit more because they used three-dimensional pretzels this time, but neither Sonia nor I like them enough to raise our score. 

Eight is enough for Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spiced Teeny Tiny Pretzels, which probably aren't around anymore this year. Catch 'em in the fall of 2023 if you're into this sort of thing. Or bust 'em out of the back of the pantry now and munch on 'em in between leftover turkey sandwiches since I reminded you that they're actually pretty decent and snackable. $2.99 for the resealable bag.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Friday, November 18, 2022

Trader Joe's PBC Bars


Long ago, we reviewed Trader Joe's ABC Bars, the almond butter version of this peanut butter-based snack. In the post, I came up with as many "ABC" word combos as I could think of. It'd be a pretty big charge to do it again. It's in the past, babe, chill. I couldn't possibly be creative like that again.


Pleasantly buttery, creamy, these bars make positively boss comestibles like their predecessors. Trader Joe's packed blissful cocoa all through these bars, also peanut butter, creamy-style—pretty basic concept. 

But now that I've tried 'em, I get powerful bad cravings. Perhaps babies cry for PBC. They'd be a proper buy at checkout.

Health-wise, these are presumably a better choice than pretzels, brownies, chips. I would personally bake cookies, but I'm sure they wouldn't be as good as these. Perfect bars for camping, they'd probably be convenient.

People begging for chow? Pickup a box of craveable peanut butter cocoa bars. Please be careful: they're addicting. 

$3.29 for six bars. Vegan. Gluten free. I think I prefer the almond butter version just ever so slightly over these. I'm usually a peanut butter guy, but almond butter works a little better in this application. Still, peanut butter is never unwelcome to the beautiful wifey and me. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's PBC Bars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, November 15, 2022

Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Tart


I, personally, haven't seen the
Rustic Apple Tarte on shelves in a while. I've seen posts about it on social media, so it must still be out there somewhere. That thing was legendary. So, if you can, pick one up.

If you can't, this delicious pastry is the next best thing. This has more of a sweet tart vibe. I don't mean that it's a tart that's sweet. I mean it's a tart that is both sweet and tart. Make sense? It's a much more tart tart than the rustic apple dealie, courtesy of cranberries. The apple tarte was just appliciously sweet.


The crust on this product is still outstanding, flaunting a country-style homemade vibe and buttery deliciousness. It's flaky and crumbly and just rigid enough to hold the fruit in the middle of the tart where it belongs.

Weaknesses? Well, for me, the cranberries weren't quite as melt-in-your-mouth perfect as the apples, texture-wise. Cranberries can have a slightly leathery texture and some of these did, just ever so slightly. Also, the aforementioned rustic apple tarte had candied almond slivers on top. This didn't. I miss those.


The missus raved about this tart from first bite. She said it's like something you'd pick up in an artisan bakery in Paris. She pointed out the impeccable balance of flavors and nice presentation. Her only complaint: she wants a four-pack next time. Two tarts just aren't enough.

$4.99 for the box. Heats in 20 minutes at 350° in a conventional oven. As highly as we'll recommend this dessert, it'll still score a full star lower than its rustic apple cousin. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Four from me on Trader Joe's Apple Cranberry Tart.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Thursday, November 10, 2022

Trader Joe's Glazed Maple Donuts


Well, shoot. That's a tough act to follow: a teary-eyed farewell post with 12 years worth of memories and reviews and goodbyes and whatnot. I might lose half my audience if I don't bring my A-game here these next few posts. What could possibly do this blog justice after that?

I honestly don't know. But these maple glazed donuts are gonna give it the old college try, that's for sure. And I gotta say: I'm a fan.

In terms of cakiness and density, these are not unlike the Apple Cider Donuts from a few years back. These maple dealies look a little more cruller-ish in terms of their twisty, braided appearance. They're soft, sweet, and made fresh daily—something I didn't realize before this purchase. I guess they get delivered? I don't think there's a bakery in that back room at the Trader Joe's store...but I could be wrong.

The glaze is mapley, but honestly, it might not be quiiiite mapley enough for this guy. I was thinking they'd be absolutely dripping with real, rich maple syrup from Canada or Vermont or somewhere like that. I mean, they are maplicious. Don't get me wrong. There's maple in that glaze for sure. But it's almost like they mixed the regular sugar glaze from a plain glazed donut with a maple glaze, yielding a donut that is exactly half as mapley as I'd like it to be.


Fun fact: maple syrup appears in the ingredients list under the "contains less than 2% of the following" section. Version 2.0 should contain at least 4% maple syrup. I guess I could always add my own syrup...

The friendly Trader Joe's clerk gave me the following pro-tip, and I'll pass it along to you: microwave each donut for 15 seconds before consuming. These are fine at room temperature, but they're waaay better warmed up.

Sonia digs 'em a lot, too, although she agrees the maple flavor could be a little stronger. She says they'd go well with coffee. Indeed they would, my love. Indeed they would. $4.49 for six pastries. Four stars from Sonia, four from me on Trader Joe's Glazed Maple Donuts.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.