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Showing posts with label not bad. Show all posts
Showing posts with label not bad. Show all posts

Friday, September 14, 2018

Trader Joe's Carrot Cake Spread

A few posts ago, there was a link in there about wine "experts" having their opinion swayed by the label. Product presentation affects perception, right? Seems like kinda no-brainer. Tell me what it is, I can judge adequately. Blind taste tests are tougher (yet perhaps fairer) in that something can be judged on its own merits. And maybe labels can make you "taste" something that kinda isn't there.

Mentioning this in reference to Trader Joe's Carrot Cake Spread because, honestly, if I didn't know it was trying to taste like carrot cake, I probably wouldn't have guessed it right off the bat. It's kinda an odd concoction...but oddly good.

Let's do this hypothetically blindfolded. First words I would say are chunky, almost like a marmalade. Except it's little bits of matter instead of orange peel or whatever. But there's absolutely a jammy marmalade vibe. Then, sweet. Very sweet. I'd pick up on apples right away, then probably pineapple for a slightly tart taste. Then, spicy. Not overly. I'd say ginger primarily, maybe a little cinnamon too. Then, super sweet, lots of sugar. Almost too cloyingly sweet but it sorta reins it in a smidge.

Blindfold off...hey, what are those little orangey doodads mixed in with pineappley tidbits? Are they...carrots? I guess? Wha?

Makes sense, I guess. Carrots really don't taste like much by themselves, and there's enough other stuff going on here.

Does it taste like carrot cake then? Meh....not sure. When I think carrot cake, my mind defaults more to it being a vehicle for cream cheese frosting inhalation, not a super sugary cake by its lonesome. Indeed, nekkid carrot cake would sway more towards savory in my opinion, while this TJ's carrot spread is undeniably sweet and sugary. So I wouldn't say it tastes just like carrot cake...but seeing the label, a little, I can see what TJ's is going for here. It kinda works.

All that aside, though, it's a good spread. Sandy and I spread some out on graham crackers for a post-dinner snacky that our kiddos turned up their noses at. Sandy's plotting a bagel and cream cheese run to use so we can try that, and she's intrigued by the jar's suggestion to try on pork. All that seems like it'd work to me, so why not? Most other uses you can think would probably work, exccept probably not as the J in a PB&J. I kinda want to mix it up with a can of cream cheese frosting, get a big spoon, and get shameful myself.

Still, I just can't shake that the carrot cake jelly is a bit too sweet and perhaps a little off the mark. Maybe if labelled as Spiced Pineapple with Carrot or something goofy like that, I'd be a bit more on board with the general concept. You see, it's messing with me here...quitting while I'm somewhat ahead.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Carrot Cake Spread: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Friday, September 7, 2018

Trader Joe's Riced Cauliflower Bowl


I move that the standard bean ingredient serving as the cornerstone of all vegan/vegetarian meals be changed from soybean to garbanzo bean. Do I hear a second? Anybody?

Not that I hate soy or tofu or other soy derivatives. I just like chickpeas better. And then when rednecks are trying to insult vegan/vegetarian men, they'll call them "garbanzo guys" instead of "soyboys." Doesn't sound quite as demeaning. Confession time: I'm originally from Pennsyltucky, so I'm still part redneck. Also, I'm not even full vegetarian. I might be more inclined if we can make that chickpea initiative happen.


Fortunately, there are delicious marinated chickpeas in this dish. There's also a good bit of soy-based tofu. Sonia thinks there's not enough of it. I disagree. Sweet potato, kale, and onions round out the veggie combo for a unique mixture of flavors. I find the tahini sauce to be somewhat acrid and acidic for my taste, while the wife is more than fine with it. 

Sonia thinks some of the vegetables are a bit too tough. I can see where she's coming from, although, overall, I think the texture is nice—particularly the chickpeas. Plenty of riced cauliflower here, too. Serves as a nice low-carb base for the dish.


For a quick, zappable, vegan lunch, $3 isn't a bad deal. The taste and texture are good, but not outstanding, in my opinion. Sonia is a little more enthusiastic overall. Says she'd definitely purchase it again. I think I'll go with three and a half stars here. Sonia will dole out four.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, September 5, 2018

Gastronomiche Casa Milo Squid Ink Spaghetti

It doesn't happen often...but it does. I'm actually talking about two different things here.

First, a review of a non-TJ's branded product on our blog. Over 90% of a TJ's is their own house brand so there's plenty to choose from...but there are exceptions.

And secondly...my kids begging for something for dinner that doesn't involve the words "mac 'n cheese."

By some wizardry and magic, those two worlds coverged upon a single product: Gastronomiche Casa Milo Squid Ink Spaghetti. Available at your local Trader Joe's...maybe. Sandy follows a bunch of TJ's Instragram and Facebook pages and has seen a lot of buzz about this particular black pasta, as well as scores of pictures of empty shelves with the product tag and a sad face.

So apparently it's a big deal, so good enough for a review for me.

I think I get the appeal from my kids' standpoint: It's black! Spaghetti usually isn't! This is new and exciting and kinda spooky! I'm sure there's all sorts of creative Halloween-themed dishes you could make with this to have it be even more fun. Although both kids kinda forgot about it in the couple days between purchase and preparation as they both asked why their noodles were black. I just told them that I burned them.

What about us adults? I tried figuring out the benefits or plusses or anything that made squid ink pasta stand apart from the regular ol' semolina fare (aside from appearance of course) and came up with two things: it has more antioxidants and it tastes a little different. I'm not gonna argue about anything with antioxidants - the less oxidants I have to fight on my own, the better - but different taste? Really?

If anything I was surprised by how similar the squidghetti tasted to the usual. It took a few slow, careful, plain bites to discern a small difference, and even then I'm not sure it wasn't a case of me trying too hard. Really, for all intents and purposes, at least to me, it tastes the same, especially when adding garlic and EVOO and shrimp like we did.

Worth a try? Sure. Will it change your pasta-pounding world? Probably not. If you want a dark colored pasta that's truly different, here's another option. But I'm not intimidated by squid ink spaghetti anymore, at the very least, so perhaps I can be a little fancier if I ever see it on a menu somewhere. 'Til then, this will be in our occasional rotation I'm sure for the two or three bucks a package.

Bottom line: Gastronomiche Casa Milo Squid Ink Spaghetti: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Friday, August 31, 2018

Trader Joe's High Rye Bourbon

If you ever find yourself passing through Louisville, KY on a Tuesday afternoon with a few hours to kill, and a crew of small kids in tow, and you're a little thirsty either before or after going to the absolutely awesome Lousiville Slugger Museum and Factory...as Sandy and I found ourselves recently...may we suggest the Evan Williams Experience?

Seriously. Few distelleries are open on Tuesdays, even fewer are kid friendly. EW is the exception. Friendly folks, interactive tour that's fun and informative (will even keep kid's attention for the most part), capped off with a short tasting of different EW offerings at the end. It's really when tasted side-by-side that different charcteristics of different bourbon offerings stand out. It actually kinda hit for the first time the difference between the even keel of a typical base mixed barrel offering versus the milder undertones of single barrel. We picked up a few bottles there for sure...

...then headed over to the Louisville TJ's for even more bourbon, because, you know, Kentucky. Why not? Can't exactly get TJ's hard stuff just anywhere.  We picked up an old favorite but in spirit of adventure also chose Trader Joe's High Rye Bourbon. Not a bad price at $19.99.

And of course for sake of comparision I had to try the two side by side. Did that again just now. So the rest of this review oughtta be fun.

At 84 proof, I expected more burn to be honest. But it's not here in the rye variant. The regular ol TJ's straight sure can, as I semi-coughingly reminded myself. Nah, it's much more even and mellow here, with still a semi-fiery undertone. But man oh man...the rye. There's a lot of it, as one would expect. I'm learning to appreciate it, slowly but surely. I feel like it may be somewhat akin to hoppy beers, in that bourbons high in rye would also be a somewhat acquired taste. The mix mash here is 70% corn and 30% rye, so there's definitely a heavy-handed grainy taste here that I'm not accustomed to. Most bourbons seem to be 10% rye or less. A little ice mellows it out, and blossoms some slightly sweet elements.

And sorry, but I laugh at the label note that says "aged in new charred barrels." That's literally every bourbon. It's like listing Cherrios as cholesterol-free, in that it's a given. It's an actual legal requirement for any bourbon to be considered a bourbon to be aged in a newly charred barrel.

It's a sipper meant to be enjoyed slowly, for sure. If I were still into cigars, I'd imagine the two going well hand-in-hand...but I haven't smoked one in years. I've been working my way thru the bottle slowly, as it does go down easily enough, but at the end I'm not sure I'll make it a point to seek out more rye bourbons. I feel it's a drink I can respect and appreciate for what it is, but not completely savor, if that follows. Sandy does enjoy bourbon but more or less is taking a pass at this one. I'd say it's decent enough for what it is, especially at a fairly reasonable (to me) price. Thanks Pennsylvania and your government-run spirit shops. Gonna go with a seven here overall.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's High Rye Bourbon: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Friday, August 24, 2018

Trader Joe's Chipotle Vegetable Quesadillas

"If they're called 'vegetable' quesadillas, there should be more vegetables," stated Sonia. "I want sliced-up zucchini or eggplant or peppers in there. Corn and beans aren't enough."

This is coming from the only human being I know who eats plain cheese quesadillas for a meal—nothing but a tortilla with melted cheese—on average about twice a week. If she'd add beans, corn, and chipotle sauce, I could probably live off her quesadillas, because I enjoy the taste enough, and also, I'm guessing, there'd be enough nutritional value in there.

Likewise, I could live off these quesadillas. I really like their simplicity and flavor. I'll admit we heated them in the microwave, but I was more than pleased with the result. 

Sonia? Not so much. Sometimes I think she feels threatened by Trader Joe's Mexican offerings—as if I'll suddenly ask her to never cook again and demand the freezer be stockpiled with Trader José's comida Mexicana. Where is José these days, anyway? Don't worry, wifey. I'll never get tired of your salsa de queso.


Sonia's other major complaint was the price. $3.49 for two quesadillas. I'll admit they're not exactly giving them away, but each quesadilla could stand as a meal in and of itself. That seems like a pretty standard price point for frozen foods to me. I think Sonia has a problem with it because she can make about 500 of her plain quesadillas with an inexpensive stack of corn or flour tortillas and a hunk of cheese from the grocery store, and they wind up costing about 15 cents each.

The balance of corn, beans, and cheese is on point here in these "vegetable" quesadillas, and the chipotle flavor is almost perfect, too. There's a hint of heat, but it's not overwhelming. If I were in the mood for something with a significant kick, I would have to put some kind of hot sauce on them, but for most occasions, they're perfect just the way they are. 

Sonia didn't really have any specific complaints about the taste or texture. She just thinks they'd be better with another ingredient or two. Fair enough. Two and a half stars from her. 

That's a painfully low score for these, in my opinion. Four and a half stars from me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Thursday, August 16, 2018

Trader Joe's Ramen Soup


Might not yet be back-to-school time for all the pre-college crowd, but university arrival is in full swing out here in the 'burgh. As home to several major schools in close proximity to each other, the local Targets and Walmarts are over-flooded right now with masses of aspiring scholars getting their futons and table lamps and God knows whatever else.

And chances are, ramen noodles too. Need your stockpile.

Amazing I didn't suffer from malnourishment during college, as for three years I literally lived off of ramen and Papa John's pizza. Can barely touch ramen since, let alone it's slightly fancier cousin, that Cup o' Noodle feller.

There's a new twig on the ramen family tree: Trader Joe's Ramen Soup. There's presently two varieties as you can see: miso and chicken. Not that typically "flavors" matter for ramen - it's super salty cheap carbs. It's only a matter of what color the seasoning packet is, right?

Well, I've admittedly only tried the chicken variant, but even from it, I can tell these soup cups are a decent buy. There's not just a seasoning (read: salt) packet inside, but also a small flavoring oil baggie, which when mixed with hot water makes a frothier, almost "creamier", slightly richer soup broth. The noodles are pretty basic ramen, with nothing too fancy about them, so the decent broth is a real nice plus.

A word about the noodles, though: There's two ways these can be prepped. You can either pour in tap water and microwave, or pour in hot water and let it sit. Sandy said the second non-nuking method seems to work better, as the noodles seem to "cook" better and have a better texture to them.

At a little over a buck each, these TJ ramen cups seem a little pricier than any I'd remember from college...then again, everything's more expensive than 15 years ago and I was being spoiled by 1o packages of ramen for a buck back then, too. Haven't really kept tabs on ramen market prices since then. We'll be picking these up, especially as the weather finally begins to cool, for a quick and easy lunch / small carbo-loading boost at work type deal. It's not the fanciest in the world but for what they are, they're pretty good. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Ramen Soups: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Thursday, July 26, 2018

Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones and Trader Joe's Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream

We haven't crossed too terribly much off the family bucket list this summer, but one thing we've done without fail: go out to a different ice cream shop every week. And not a Coldstone or Baskin Robbins either, but an independent, roadside type place. Without fail...and it's been awesome.

But there's a problem. See, I like waffle cones, a lot. And the Good Lord, when I was born, decided to grace with a tremendous underbite that I have declined to ever get fixed. Surgically breaking and resetting a jaw and being subjected to a summer at home with Mom and Dad eating baby food during college when instead I could be off at campus didn't seem like fun. To help cover this up, and also because without it I look like a 14 year old with an hyperactive pituitary gland, I have grown a fairly large, bushy beard. The wife loves it and won't let me do more than an occasional trim.

As a result, between my wacky jaw and crazy beard, it's impossible for me to eat an ice cream neatly. I've tried all sorts of different techniques...nope. It cannot be done. My three year old is neater than me, and we usually have to hose her off. Strangers gasp. Kids stare. Napkins cringe. It's bad.

Fortunately, bettween Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones, and, say, Trader Joe Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream, I can contain my embarrassment at home.

Waffle cones at first. A good waffle cone, in of itself, is one of life's simple pleasures. Why settle for one of those styrofoam type deals...when you can get a waffle cone? These TJ cones are no exception. They're appropriately thick and sturdy, with enough space to amply hold a couple scoops. That's key. When bitten into, there's lots of crunch-and-munch-ability, with little chance of these guys getting soggy. But then there's an added bonus: there's a sweet, almost creamy, vanilla flavor shining through the batter that adds a really nice little touch. Really, these are pretty greta cones, and at $2.99 for a dozen, not a bad deal. Most ice cream shops charge what, an extra 50 cents (at least) for a waffle cone? These are 25 cents each! Nice!

As for the Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream...meh. It's decent ice cream, don't get me wrong. But chocolate by itself doesn't quite get my motor running. That being said, the TJ's chocolate ice cream is better than average chocolate. The cocoa flavor is rich with depth and is fairly potent, more than a typical chocolate. It's probably a good thing there aren't any mix-ins or added flavors as they would probably be overpowered. And from seeing how hard this ice cream freezes, it's made from good quality ingredients too. Lots of milk and cream and eggs and the like. In all, pretty good, even if it's not all my thing. If you're a chocoholic, though? You'll be all over this.

The waffle cones will be a summer staple, for sure. We do ice cream far more than we should at home...it's hot and we ahve no AC and get tired and cranky easily. Don't judge. As for the ice cream? It'll be in and out, I think. Neither Sandy nor I are huge fans but our kids sure are, and by God, if it'll help them eat anything other than mac and cheese for dinner, we're for it. Waffle cones earn near top marks, while the ultra chocolate ice crwam comes in a little behind.

Bottom lines: Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Waffle Cones: 9 out of 10 Golden Spoons and Trader Joe;s Ultra Chocolate Ice Cream: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons


Tuesday, July 17, 2018

Trader Joe's Uncured Ham & Swiss Cheese Flaky Croissant Dough Squares

"I'm a simple man. I like pretty, dark-haired women and breakfast food."

I'll admit to have never having watched a minute of Parks & Recreation. Who has the time to watch TV? I barely do - pretty much only in cases of new seasons of Stranger Things coming out. I mean, it's been a good five years that Sandy and I have sworn we'd get caught up on Dr. Who - hasn't happened. TV room in our thrid floor attic is way too hot in the summer.

But that quote up top, from Ron Swanson, is quite a good one. I agree wholeheartedly. I think I'd like him quite a bit - maybe not as much as breakfast for dinner, and definitely not as much as bacon, and absolutely not as much as bacon for dinner - and maybe one day I'll finally plop down and see what all the fuss is.

Until then, for dinner, we had Trader Joe's Uncured Ham & Swiss Cheese Flaky Croissant Dough Squares.

Here's one breakfast food that decidedly ought to stay at breakfast. It's not that these ham and cheese dough squares aren't any good. They're certainly pretty tasty. There's four per box which bake for about 15 to 20 minutes in the oven, and as one would expect from a croissant-inspired pastry of sorts, they get all light and flaky and crispy and a little greasy. There's such a satisfying bite to a good croissant, and that's what we get here, even if in dough square form. The melted Swiss cheese adds a lot of slightly salty, greasy comfort vibe, while the bits of cubed ham taste actually more sweet than salty, but they work well with the rest of the dish.

I think they'd work great for a light breakfast, alongside some coffee and some fruit. There's enough here to have you get up and go. But as dinner? Nah. Too light, I'd say. It's not the croissants' fault - I mean, they are what they are and it shouldn't have been too surprising - but if I had a voracious enough of an appetite, I probably could eaten the whole box. As it was, I was sneaking bites from my kids, who were surprisingly slow at chowing them down despite their proclamations of loving these ham, and cheese squares. My three year old wants to give them 21 Golden Spoons despite struggling to eat half of hers.

Also, the name...doesn't it strike you as a little goofy? "Flaky Croissant Dough Squares." I mean, it's a proper description...but I'd go with something else, maybe like "Open Faced Croissants" or something along those lines.

In all, these TJ's ham and cheese squares are certainly decent, to almost pretty darn good. There's nothing utterly spectacular to them, and I'd say that maybe they're missing a small something, like a little spinach or a fancier cheese or a small flavor sprinkle of some type. But for a good, solid, kinda basic croissant-type deal? Not a bad deal at all for about $3.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Uncured Ham & Swiss Cheese Flaky Croissant Dough Squares: 6.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons  

Friday, July 13, 2018

Trader Joe's 8 Mini Raspberry Pastries


So what we have here are essentially Belgian Danishes. How exactly does that work? Mightn't the Danes be offended that the Belgians have been ripping off their signature multilayered puff pastries with fruit filling? Are the Belgians no longer content just being known for waffles and cookie butter? Could such an offense start an international conflict of sorts? Even a war?

Probably not. The Danes and the Belgians seem like relatively peaceful folk to me. Northern Europeans have left their ancient Viking ways behind them. If there were a conflict between the two nations in question, it would most likely be settled on the football pitch—er, sorry, "soccer" for all you Yanks. Both squads, particularly Belgium, were looking like pretty good contenders for the World Cup—right up until this past week or so. But hey, there's always Qatar 2022.


Back to the food review. The picture on the packaging clearly depicts round Danishes—I mean pastries. But when we opened our bag, we found little frozen squares. After baking, they were more like squares with rounded edges. Our pastries required a little more time in the oven than the instructions called for (20 min.) but the first batch was still on the undercooked side. After removing them from the oven, they stuck tenaciously to the foil that lined our baking sheet.

Sonia says the pastries are "very buttery." I'd call them "oily" or "greasy," but I guess that's basically the same thing but with a slightly more negative connotation. The breading is soft and flavorful, and the raspberry filling is plentiful, sweet, and full of real raspberry. The fruity taste of the filling tends to overshadow the bready flavor of the actual pastry. I like fruit filling just fine, but I think these could have had just a tad more bread and a tad less fruit. Didn't think I'd ever have to make that request, yet there it is. I'm sure plenty of people would be more than okay with the amount of fruit here. It's just the carbivore in me craving more bread.


Eight pastries in the bag for $3.99. Eight servings in the bag. Serving size one pastry? I guess that's not quite as ridiculous as "half a cookie," but these Belgian Danishes aren't even as big as normal cookies. Most people aren't going to stop at one unless they're sampling other desserts or turned off by the oiliness. Also, the name: 8 Mini Raspberry Pastries? Lame. I think they should have played up the Belgian Danish angle and called them Trader Joe's BelDanes or something catchy and quirky like that. I know, I must have missed my true calling as a marketing guru. Such is life.

Four stars from Sonia. Three stars from me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Wednesday, July 11, 2018

Trader Joe's Almond Butter Coconut Greek Low Fat Yogurt

There's a few classic blunders and major pitfalls out there. You know most of them already: reading the comments on almost any Internet article (except here, y'all are great), getting involved in land wars in Asia or going up aginst a Sicilian when death is on the line. No duhs on any of those.

Another one or two is true in our house; Sandy and I have a rule we don't really talk about anything too in depth before we have coffee, and to not nag her for a bite of anything she's eating, especially on a busy morning after she's refueling from a marathon training run, and before she has a long hot day with our kiddos. Plus, please, our kids always want to eat what she's eating, so she doesn't need me to ask her for a bite of anything...

...except a smallish blunder was made on her part, when she bought only one cup of Trader Joe's Almond Butter Coconut Greek Low Fat Yogurt. I needed something to review, and apparently this stuff has been all the buzz on TJ's related Instagram, so I broke all sorts of household rules in order just to get two measly little bites from which I am basing this entire review, along with help from my lovely bride.

This TJ's Greek yogurt is much like others: creamy, a bit tangy, appropriately thick. Kinda par for the course in that regard. In my albeit limited tasting, the flavor strayed a lot more towards coconut than almond butter, which to me makes sense given the general comparative richness of the two. Almond butter has always been a very sublte flavor for me. But, definitely heavy on the shredded coconut. Along with some fruit and coffee, I could see this being a very filling breakfast, though perhaps not one I'd be inclined to do too often. I'm just not cultured enough to be much of a yogurt guy.

Sandy, though, disagrees with me. She said the almond butter is a much stronger flavor, whereas shemore "felt" the coconut. That doesn't jive with my experience, but I'd be more inclined to believe her many spoonfuls to my few.

But we both agree it's good, not earthshattering yogurt. Perhaps it was her endorphins winding down or her caffeination not quite kicked in yet, but Sandy was pretty ho-hum about it. "It's good," she said. "I'd definitely buy it again, but it's not going to be my new go-to yogurt." Make of that what you will, and before any more blunders are made, let's wrap this up.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Almond Butter Coconut Greek Low Fat Yogurt: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, July 9, 2018

Trader Joe's Almond, Cashew & Macadamia Nut Beverage

If you're looking for a delicious drinkable dessert, look elsewhere. If you're looking for a nut-tastic vegan alternative to animal milk, this might just be the product for you.

On the plus side, the beverage is surprisingly NOT chalky. It's smooth—and it's about as nutty as I ever imagined a beverage could be. Both Sonia and I wanted to call it "creamy" at first, but after thinking about it, we realized it's a much thinner liquid than anything we'd call "creamy." Not a bad thing. Just not as thick as other types of "milk." Maybe that's why it's a "beverage" and not a "milk." Color-wise, it's...well, milky—but perhaps a bit grayer than other milks and nut beverages.

Taste-wise? It's not sweet at all—like regular cow's milk with its lactose milk sugar is significantly sweeter to my tongue than this stuff. No sweeteners in that ingredients list at all. At only 30 calories per cup, I don't exactly think Trader Joe's is targeting the cookie butter crowd with this one. 

I will say that it works well on cereal, especially if the cereal is a sweet one, or one that's already got a nutty flavor to it. It'll tone down the sweetness of a super-sweet cereal, and in the process, the nut beverage will get a little tastier with that cereal sugar on it, making it even better when you slurp the excess from the bowl. Nut-based cereals with this beverage on them shall be elevated to über-nutty status.

I was surprised to see there's very little protein in the beverage, since nuts tend to have a good bit of it. I guess all the protein gets squeezed out in the liquefying process..? 

Soy milk seems to be on the decline as far as alternative milks go. And filling the void are cashew and almond beverages. Combine those two and add macadamias? Brilliant. It's a little difficult to detect all three nut flavors individually. Sonia seems to think she detected macadamia the most. I felt like they all just blended together. At $2.29 for a quart, it's priced comparably to other alternative milk products. I probably wouldn't reach for this after a day out in the 100 degree summer heat, but I'd be perfectly happy pouring it on my corn flakes or in my coffee. Four stars from Sonia. Three from me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Tuesday, July 3, 2018

Trader Joe's Grilled Jerk Chicken Thigh Skewers


I know it's kind of juvenile and gross, but I just can't get the idea out of my head that these are somehow gophers or other small rodents just plopped on sticks and fire roasted au naturale—like something you'd see Bear Grylls whip up for supper in a far-flung mountain range. I mean, clearly, they were cooked on a grill (I hope), since they come with grill marks already on them, but their size and shape—and even their texture to some degree—suggests that they could be something other than chicken.

I'm not saying they ARE any of those non-poultry animals. When the ingredients say "chicken," I'm not so cynical YET as to simply disbelieve it outright. I'm just saying there's something foreign about the texture here. It's not a bad texture, it's just an odd texture for chicken if you ask me.


It's mysteries like these that are steering Sonia and I away from meat altogether. Sonia actually sat this one out, proudly waving her newfound pescatarian flag high. At this point in the game, I'm more "flexitarian," happily seizing the opportunity to review jerk chicken for this blog as my only meaty meal in the past week or two.

So yeah. Unusual, but not terrible, in the texture department. The chicken was super soft. It came off the sticks in juicy little bite-sized chunks and didn't need a lot of chewing. Not rubbery in the slightest. Still, there was the suggestion that the chicken was processed along with a good bit of fat, gristle, and skin, and wasn't just traditional dark meat thigh pieces.

Flavor-wise, these aren't nearly intense enough to bear the label "jerk chicken" in my humble opinion. I've only had Jamaican jerk chicken twice in my life, and both times, there was a much more significant kick to the spice. There's just enough here to be flavorful. There is a mild lingering heat to this product, though, that shows up a little late to the party. Especially when masked by the semi-sweet mango chutney, there's very little spiciness up front. For that reason, I would have just as readily consumed the skewers with some good old-fashioned barbecue sauce as I would something so exotic as pureed mango and chutney spices.

Six skewers in the box for $5.49. Decent value. They're better than the other chicken skewers we used to see around TJ's, but that's not saying a whole lot. I doubt I'd get them again, but glad I tried them. I'm torn between 3 and 3.5 stars, so we'll go with one of each since I'm scoring on behalf of Sonia.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Thursday, June 28, 2018

Trader Joe's Camel Milk Soap and Trader Joe's Mouth Wash with Tea Tree Oil & Cool Mint


We're just taking a brief break from food here and trying something different. If you like it, click the Facebook "like" button below and share the post with your friends. If you don't like it, click the Facebook "like" button below, share it with your friends, and leave a comment letting us know what a stupid idea it was.

In all honesty, I'm very picky about mouthwash. I like Listerine—or more accurately, generic Listerine that comes from Dollar Tree. If it doesn't burn my mouth like crazy, I'm highly skeptical of its antiseptic and breath-freshening abilities. I'm not saying my breath wasn't minty after using Trader Joe's Mouth Wash. But it left an odd aftertaste long after I rinsed and brushed my teeth.

The soap had a faintly sweet odor. I thought it was reminiscent of oatmeal soap with a hint of honey. It left Sonia's skin silky smooth. I didn't feel like it made much of a difference on mine. Another interesting property of the soap: it dried off very quickly. Other soaps remain slippery and slimy for a long while after being wet. This soap felt oddly drained just moments after being wet—still waxy and smooth, but with a complete lack of that slippery slime.

For Sonia's thoughts, check out the short video below.



Bottom line: Camel Milk Soap with Olive Oil and Honey: 7 out of 10.
Bottom line: Mouth Wash with Tea Tree Oil & Cool Mint: 6 out of 10.



Thursday, June 21, 2018

Trader Joe's Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies

Half a cookie.

Wait. Half a cookie?!?!?!?!

I'm a guy, and aside from the bathroom paint job that's sat idle the past couple months, I don't do anything halfway, much less when it comes to one of the best things ever: food.

I don't eat just half a burger. I don't drink just half a beer. I may on occasion eat only half a pizza, but that was mainly back in college. That hasn't happened for a while. And I don't drink just half a coffee, unless it's the tepid brownesque swill from the work pot.

And I sure as heck don't eat just half a cookie.

Unfortunately that's the serving size for a Trader Joe's Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookie, and to doublr down on my woes, my lovely bride is the serving size enforcer. It says half, you get half. I had the indignity of having to share my cookie with her the other night, so tonight, right before writing this, when I had the chance to go whole cookie all by my bad self, I manned up and did it.

Ooof.

These choco-squared TJ's cookies are no joke. A little crisp, a little moist, a little chewy,and they're definitely heavy on the chocolate, as one might expect. It doesn't really hit how potently choco-licious these cocoa-concoctions are until eating a whole cookie...by the end I had had enough. The big choco-chunks made a nice varient to the overall doughy softness, that had a just a little greasy crisp to the outside. It reminded me of something, but couldn't quite think of it...

"Like the corners from a brownie pan," Sandy said.

Yes. That's almost precisely it.

As one may expect, these cookies are atrocious for you. Gotta treat yo'self sometimes and after having salad for two meals, one of these didn't hurt too much from a caloric intake perspective. My taste buds begged to differ - by the last bite, it was enough. Not that I'd ever admit that, and if given the chance I'd eat another whole one...but if my wife or kids asked for a bite, I may choose, out of my grace, to not be so greedy as to keep the whole cookie for myself.

Not too many negatives. Sandy wishes she could eat a whole one without feeling guilty, limitng her score to a 3.5. A couple bites I had tasted a little salty - not necessarily in an unwelcome way, but it was definitely a little uneven. The four pack cost around $4, so it was a mid-level value at best. I'll go with a 3.5 as well.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Chocolate Chocolate Chip Cookies: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Friday, June 8, 2018

Trader Joe's Manyberry Apple Pie with Rhubarb Fruit Crumble Pie


Dessert Week continues here at What's Good at Trader Joe's...

We review a good many desserts on this blog, but I can't remember the last time we tackled three sweet dessert foods in a single week. It's been a while. It's almost like we're celebrating something über-sweet that happened recently in the sports world...

It's a veritable celebration of sweetness. And they're all new products at TJ's. Way to help people attain their summer beach bodies, Trader Joe's. Is this all part of some kind of underhanded population control effort? Is this some kind of conspiracy?

I think there's another conspiracy going on here: a conspiracy of crumbs. Ah, but you did warn us about this one ahead of time. Right there on the packaging, "hidden in plain sight," as they say...you call this conspiratorial confection a "crumble." And crumble it does. Crumble it shall. Crumble, crumble, crumble, like the Golden Knights in game 5.


It's ant season here in the mid-Atlantic region. And ants love crumbs. Did you work out some kind of deal with America's pest control services, TJ's? Do you get a cut when ant elimination services make record amounts of calls this month? Because there were so many crumbs floating around in the box when I opened it that I could completely fill the void in the pie tin left from the first slice of pie with nothing but excess crumbs. I'm not even sure where they came from. When one cuts into the pie with a fork, the larger pieces of crust *explode* with smaller crumbs. Good thing my dogs and I all love crumbs. I grabbed the ones on the counter, and Alfred and Sadie slurped up the ones on the floor. 

Crummy crumbs crumble clumsily. Say that five times fast. Confuses the tongue, no?

Kinda like the flavor of this pie. It's very berry-esque. But what kind of berries are in there? Blueberries, blackberries, and raspberries. It's hard to detect each flavor. There's also rhubarb, apple, and even lemon juice. It's a tangy, tart, sweet flavor that defies simple categorization. It's not bad, but now that I've sampled it, I think I'd prefer a more familiar flavor in most cases. A singleberry pie wouldn't be so bad. Any one of the berries above would work.


The crust was good. Crumbly, for sure. It had a nice bready flavor, and certain parts were kind of nutty, thanks to a considerable quantity of oats. It wasn't like super fresh or soft or anything—just what you'd expect from a pie that's been sitting around for a week or so. It worked alright with the apple berry filling. 

It's a unique dessert with a sweet-tart filling and CRUMBLY crust. Easily six servings for $6.99. I'd try the regular apple crumble pie, or any single berry flavor if they make one in the future. Three and a half stars from me. Four from Sonia.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, May 29, 2018

Trader Joe's Berry Flavored Soft Licorice Twists

Just past Memorial Day. School's almost out (huzzah!), the heat and humidity are beginning to get to me already in our AC free house, our neighbor across the way bides his evening sitting on the side porch listening to awful '80s love ballads..yup, it's summer.

Even if you're a solstice literalist, you gotta admit it's close enough to round up. Here we go, eh. Kinda wonder what the theme of this summer will be...

Remember a couple years back when it was mangopalooza everything at TJ's? If you're a newcomer, have amnesia, or have blocked that out of your memory for pure sanity's sake, just search for "mango" on here for a refresher. You'll see a lot.

Seems like, just maybe, this will be the summer of berries at TJ's, and here's a kickoff item: Trader Joe's Berry Flavored Soft Licorice Twists. There's some other berrylicious-lookin' type items we've spied around, but this was just the first one we happened to pick up on a recent trip. First outta many, I have a feeling...I mean, who doesn't like berries?

We've done TJ's licorice before, and all we can say here is it is much the same, except, you know, berries. There's a pretty tart taste that suggests raspberry, and a solid base that suggest strawberry or blueberry or maybe both. The ingredients don't really help out, listing just "natural mixed berry flavor with other natural flavors." I mean, whatcha hiding here? Give up the berries! What kinda scandal fruit are you hiding here...schnozzberries? I'd kinda like a better idea....

...especially because there's something here at it. It's more on the aftertatse. Sandy said there was kinda a medicinal essence to it. I'm not sure if that's right, but I can't quite put my fineger on tongue on it. It might be some gratuitous lemon or something else citrusy clashing a wee bit with the berry flavor. Not sure.

Anyways, the TJ's berry licorice bites remain a decent enough summer snack on the go. God knows between ballgames, amusement park visits, random road trips, little hikes, trips to the pool, and just lazing arounb the house, having a cheapie $2 sack of decent candy around isn't a horrible idea, and just may be this summer's thing. So also is "Hold Me" by Teddy Pendergrass and Whitney Houston" - thanks neighbor for playing that twelve times in a row while I wrote this on my front porch because the rest of my house is too hot. Happy summer kickoff!

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Berry Flavored Soft Licorice Twists: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Wednesday, May 23, 2018

Trader Joe's Salmon & Sweet Potato Dog Treats

Our dogs are picky eaters. We're well aware that pets are supposed to be fed a steady diet of one type of food, but our mutts get tired of the same thing over and over, just like people do. As evident as it is with their main breakfast and dinner type foods, it's even more so with treats, so we try to mix it up for them, since they're much easier to control when they're actually interested in whatever "cookie" Sonia's holding in her hand.

At $3.99, these weren't the cheapest option we've seen at TJ's, but with only two ingredients—Atlantic salmon and sweet potato—we figured they were worth a try. We know from experience our dogs love salmon—even the salmon we're not thrilled with ourselves.

Also, the bag is full of mind-blowingly helpful tips like, "Please provide fresh drinking water for your dog at all times." Gosh! Thanks, Trader Joe's. Insert macabre, sarcastic remark about pets dying of thirst. Hopefully we'll be able to hang on to Alfred and Sadie a little longer by putting that wisdom into practice.

Four out of five paw prints from Sadie. Three out of five paw prints from Alfred.



Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Friday, May 18, 2018

Trader Joe's Giardiniera

All I can think of when I see this product is that Iggy Pop track from a few years back: Gardenia. I realize it's not exactly the same word, but it's close enough that I get that bizarre, oddly-catchy chorus stuck in my head.

"Bizarre and oddly-catchy" wouldn't be entirely inaccurate if you were describing these veggies. Although the word "giardiniera" is foreign to me, the concept of spicy, pickled vegetables is not—peppers and carrots in particular. Sonia introduced me to the Mexican version—the La Morena brand—fairly early on in our relationship, and I fell in love with them. They're advertised simply as "pickled jalapeno peppers," but the small can contains carrot slices and onions, as well. La Morena has much more flavor and heat than this Trader Joe's product, but that's not necessarily a bad thing.

Things like pizza and pasta don't always beg for mouth-searing spiciness in the same way that many Mexican dishes do. That's when these pickled veggies come in handy. They'll spruce up just about any Italian dish that needs a little extra color and flavor—and even most American dishes for that matter.

The veggies are surprisingly crisp and crunchy considering they've been floating in liquid for a good while. The green and red peppers are noticeably limper than fresh specimens. It's the carrots, cauliflower, and pickles that flaunt an unexpected crispness. Some of the cauliflower pieces were large whole florets. I wouldn't have minded them in tinier fragments.

The liquid is predictably briny, but there's a pretty decent balance of the pickled flavor and natural veggie taste. For $1.99, this product makes a nice handy sprucer-upper to have on standby. I probably wouldn't recommend them as a stand-alone snack, although, I guess there are plenty of people who eat pickles that way, and well, there are pickles in here—pickled cucumbers, anyway. So if you'd like to expand your pickled veggie horizons, you should totally check out this jar of giardiniera.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

P.S. - Where are you, Giotto?

Tuesday, May 15, 2018

Trader Joe's Party Cake


"I'm coming up, so you better get this party started."

"Y'all want this party started right?  Y'all want this party started quickly, right?"

"Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999."

"When it's time to party we will always party hard. Party hard, party hard."

"It's my party and I'll cry if I want to."

So many songs come to mind when the word "party" comes up. Most of them aren't particularly good songs, but they're somehow memorable nonetheless. Parties just have to have certain things: party songs, party people—and most definitely, party cake.


This isn't anywhere close to the best cake I've ever had, but I'll just state right here and now that this product gets a thumbs up from me. It tastes good. Nothing earth-shattering. No reinvention of the wheel here. This is just another one of the many cases where I'm forced to compare Trader Joe's offering to that of every other grocery store in America and I find their offering among the best in terms of overall value. You might be able to find something tastier and/or healthier from a mom and pop's bakery store, but you'd be hard-pressed to find something that can serve eight people for less than $7. 

Sonia will be the resident grump on this one and claim that the icing is "too sweet and oily." She also didn't care for the overabundance of happy, festive sprinkles. I will admit, I'd have enjoyed them a bit more if they were evenly distributed across the entire exterior of the cake instead of mostly just on the outside edge. But hey, we're nitpicking now. Also, I think they wanted the top to be free and clear of funfetti nonsense in case consumers want to plug the top of the cake full of candles or write in some cheesy personalized message like, "Lordy, Lordy, Look Who's 40!" or "Nifty, Nifty, The Washington Capitals Made It Past the Second Round of the Playoffs!"


We both agree the bread part is the best part of the cake. It's not overly sweet. It's soft and moist—er, "not dry," if you prefer. It's got a nice subtle vanilla flavor, and it goes great with milk. What more can you ask of a pre-packaged grocery store cake? Not much. For that reason, I'll give my standard four stars. Sonia's only game for three this time around. She wants a gluten-free version. They should be able to just substitute that wheat flour with rice and tapioca flours, right? Right. Let's get to work on that, Big Joe. Thanks in advance.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.