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Showing posts with label grains breads and cereals. Show all posts
Showing posts with label grains breads and cereals. Show all posts

Thursday, June 1, 2023

Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread


Not sure what made me pick this one up. I guess I was jonesin' for some "maximum cracker satisfaction." At least that's what it says on the label. What did you just call me, Trader Joe?

Anyway, these sound interesting enough. Sunflower, sesame, rye, oats, flax all in one crispy bite can't be bad. I hadn't remembered, but we looked at a gluten free version of these on the blog some time ago.

One thing I hate about crackers is crumbs. We have ants in the house around this time every year and we don't need to give them one more reason to wander into our kitchen. Guess I'll be enjoying these crackers over a bowl.

First thoughts: it's a nice balance of flavors here. The sesame seeds might be a tad overrepresented for my taste, but all in all Trader Joe's Crispbread is earthy, seedy, super crispy, and lightly peppery. I was fine eating the crackers plain. Yes, it's a bit weird, but when I'm stressed, as I have been lately, sometimes all I want is something very stark and basic.


I did try the crackers with plain cream cheese, which was pretty tasty. That's Sonia's favorite way to eat them. They paired quite nicely with peanut butter, too, if you ask me. There are all sorts of elaborate ideas on the interzones about how to serve crispbread involving fruits, eggs, exotic cheeses, hummus, pesto...basically anything you can think of. Alas, we did not get that fancy with the crispbread as of the time of this post's composition.

$2.99 for ten large whole grain crackers. Would buy again. Looks like three and a half stars a piece once again from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Seeds & Grains Crispbread Norwegian Crackers.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Tuesday, May 30, 2023

Trader Joe's Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes


For some reason, during high school and college in particular, I was very much in that "breakfast all day" mode. A big plate full of carbs seemed appropriate for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. I'd supplement with fruits, veggies, and meats here and there, but by and large, I was in the mood for pancakes, waffles, cookies, toast, granola, and Pop-Tarts constantly.

It might have something to do with my metabolism changing, but lately I've generally been feeling the opposite. Like, I'm rarely in the mood for breakfast foods, even at breakfast time—so I just eat lunch and dinner type fare for my morning meal.


This morning, however, I wanted breakfast for breakfast, and I remembered we had some Trader Joe's Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes in the freezer. I'm not sure what I can attribute the unusual-for-me craving to, but it might have something to do with the changing seasons and the weather going from utterly frigid even up until April to downright summery and hot right now at the end of May. We barely had spring.

Anyway, the pancakes went from frozen to ready-to-eat in 65 seconds. That's pretty freaking convenient. I mean, they're not as good as ones you'd make from scratch and cook in a pan, obviously, but considering the significant difference in effort between the two methods, these tiny silver dollar sized dealies aren't bad to have on hand for mornings when you're pressed for time.

Of course, there's a heating option that involves the oven or a toaster oven. I'll see if Sonia wants to go that route when she wakes up. Otherwise, you can tell us in the comments if you've made these that way and how they turned out.

They're pretty plain until you slap some butter and syrup on them. But most pancakes are like that, unless of course you've got fruit in them or chocolate chips or something like that. I'd buy again for the convenience factor alone.

$3.29 for about 30 mini pancakes. Kosher. Organic. Not a bad value, either. Trader Joe's Organic Silver Dollar Pancakes are nothing to write home about in the flavor department, but they're a nifty product to have in the freezer in case you need to ready up a breakfast spread in a matter of minutes. Three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Monday, May 8, 2023

Trader Joe's Butter Croissants


Give us this day our daily bread.

Notice it doesn't say "give us this day our daily fish" or anything like that. And you know the Bible's all about fish, fishing, and fisherman analogies. But not here. It says "give us our daily bread."

But you know what? I think if I had absolutely nothing but bread to eat on an average day, I'd be perfectly okay with it—particularly if the bread was as tasty as Trader Joe's Butter Croissants. I'm sure that's not the type of bread he had in mind when Jesus taught us how to pray, but hey, we can always ask for something special even if we don't get it all the time.


I'd ask for bagels one day, brioche toast the next, then buttermilk biscuits, ciabatta bread, pita, naan, and finally croissants: a different gourmet baked good for every day of the week.

And while Trader Joe's Butter Croissants might not beat out something freshly made from a Parisian bakery, they'd be pretty high up on my list for what to order on croissant day. We had ours with butter and strawberry jelly, as seen in the pic above. Delicious.

We also made croissant sandwiches with egg, cheese, and Trader Joe's Bomba Sauce. Ahhh-mazing. The croissants are indeed buttery to the core. They're flaky, soft, and surprisingly fresh (if consumed before the "best by" date.) 

You probably won't have much trouble eating three of them in short order, although Sonia wishes they did have a resealable package just in case you can't eat all of them right away. Our family is just the two of us, but a larger household shouldn't have any problems in that department.

$3.49 for three large croissants. We would buy these again. Four stars a piece from Sonia and me for Trader Joe's Butter Croissants.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, April 19, 2023

Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks


Not sure what happened here. Did we get a bad batch? Did our local Trader Joe's manager go around changing freshness dates like Apu at the Kwik-E-Mart?

Sonia and I both thought these were bland, dry, and way too hard. We followed the heating instructions exactly. We consumed them before their "sell by" date. We tried them plain, with soup, and with various other dips.

There was no discernible garlic flavor in Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks. The cheese was wanting both in quantity and taste. Even the bread itself fell utterly short of the delightfully soft and fluffy Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread we looked at last week. The breadsticks were slightly more palatable when we first pulled them from the oven, but now that they need reheated a second time, there's simply no redeeming them.

There was no greasy residue on these sticks. Maybe that's what they needed. To both Sonia and me, they seemed like nothing more than unsalted cylindrical crackers. We're struggling to finish them. If you want breadsticks without jalapeños, we recommend buying the pull apart bread and simply removing the jalapeños, because Trader Joe's Garlic & Cheese Bread Sticks simply aren't worth the $3.49 we paid for them.

Two stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 4 out of 10.

Monday, April 17, 2023

Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones


I was just daydreaming about lemon-flavored foods and remembered that silly urban legend that some lady named her twin boys Lemonjello and Orangejello after what she was eating in the maternity ward of her hospital, shortly after giving birth. Then I was thinking, "Would I ever name my kid after food? After something lemon-flavored? After Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones?"

Probably not. But if I did, I'd make it a little discreet. Like I'd name my kid Joseph Lemon Scone Rodgers. There's "Joseph" in there for Trader Joe. And then "Lemon Scone" would be his middle name(s). People would call him Joe L.S. and wonder what the "L.S." stood for.


But even cooler than naming your kid after lemon-flavored food would be to have a band called The Lemon Scones. "We are The Lemon Scones, and we're here to make you think about food and get hungry and stuff! One, two, three, four..." And all their tunes would be about breakfast. I think you could forge an entire career around songs about the most important meal of the day. Maybe they'd have a B-side or two about dessert...but I'm hearing mostly just breakfast ballads. Their first album would be called Breaking the Fast.

Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones are indeed glazed, sweet, and lemon-flavored. Like nearly all lemon-flavored products from Trader Joe's or anywhere else, my biggest complaint is that it could still use more lemon flavor. These are pleasantly lemony, but the tartness of the lemon is easily overshadowed by the sugary sweetness of the glaze.


Still, they're a carborrific blast of sweet-tart lemon. I like them. I generally like anything that's lemontastic. I love them for breakfast, while a Brit might say they go best with a spot of afternoon tea. I can't go lower than four and a half stars. $4.49 for six kosher scones.

Sonia likes them, too, but maybe not as much as I do. She'll give Trader Joe's Glazed Sweet Lemon Scones three and a half out of five stars.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Friday, April 14, 2023

Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread


Ahhh, the delicious jalapeño. It's like the gateway drug to the world of spicy foods. I remember thoroughly enjoying a plate of nachos during my college years. It was heaping with jalapeño pepper slices, and one of my instructors happened to walk by my work-study job as I had my lunch. "You don't strike me as a jalapeño kind of guy, Nate," he mused.

"Well there's more to me than meets the eye, Professor," I responded.

And I've been eating jalapeños ever since. The beautiful wifey introduced me to pickled jalapeño slices from brands like La Morena and La Costeña. They often come canned with carrot slices, too. The carrots soak up the jalapeño juice and become spicy just like the peppers. I love it. Perfect for tacos, nachos, or even burgers and other fusion meals.


But what about cheesy bread? I don't see why it wouldn't work. The only thing stacked against Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread is that it's not exactly fresh-baked. Heating instructions specify preparation in the oven only. Lazy bums like me that want to reheat everything in the microwave will have to put on our big boy pants. What about the air fryer? Why wouldn't that work? Meh. I'll just be good and follow the instructions for now.

Before even baking the pull-apart loaf, a visible layer of grease can be seen on the cardboard and paper part of the packaging. When you're talking breadsticks or pizza or pull-apart bread, grease almost always equals deliciousness.

And yes, the bread itself is extremely soft and nearly melt-in-your-mouth delicious after heating 12 minutes in the oven. The cheese coating is somewhat firmer than that. The jalapeños aren't exactly pristine, but then again I guess they've already been baked once.

The flavor could use both more cheddar cheese and jalapeño pepper. The bread itself is very tasty, but I think most of us came here for the cheddar jalapeño. I think if you ate this bread by itself, you'd be slightly underwhelmed, but served with tomato soup or some other kind of dip, it's pretty palatable. Sonia tried it with some queso blanco to boost the cheesiness, and she reported back with positive sentiments.

Five bucks for supposedly 6 servings. It's more like 2 servings in reality. And for the folks who like to remind me it's not Trader Joe's determining how many servings there are in these products, but rather the FDA or some other agency, I'd like to point out that I'm not aiming this criticism at any particular entity. I'm simply pointing out the fact that two people will demolish this thing in a single sitting, easily. That's just my take on the matter. Some may disagree, including those with the authority to declare that there are 6 servings when clearly there are not.

Four and a half stars from the beautiful wifey. Four out of five stars from me for Trader Joe's Cheddar Jalapeño Pull Apart Bread.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, January 30, 2023

Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls


Every time I go to the grocery store and get cold cuts, cheese, greens, and plain wheat or white bread, there's a process that inevitably follows over the next few days in our kitchen. On the first couple days, if I get hungry around lunch time, I remember we have sandwich stuff, and I make a sandwich, and it hits the spot.


After the first few days, I try to think of something...anything other than a sandwich for lunch because I'm tired of the same thing day after day, but then I realize it's just Sonia and me and I better eat a sandwich before one of the ingredients spoils. By the end of the tub of cold cuts or the loaf of bread, I'm only eating the sandwich out of a sense of obligation to not let anything go bad, and then I don't want homemade sandwiches for a long time.

I present to you the remedy for this conundrum: Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls. No matter how many times I make sandwiches with this stuff, it never tastes or feels boring. It always feels like I went out to a cafe and had some professional sandwich artist craft some deli-fresh food of the gods just for me.

The bread itself is great quality and the "everything" seasonings just throw it over the top. There's onions, garlic, poppy seeds, sesame seeds, and sea salt in the mix. It's just the right combo to make a sandwich feel uncommon, even if it did just come from my own kitchen.

$2.49 for four rolls. Sonia and I will definitely purchase again. Four and a half stars a piece on Trader Joe's Everything Ciabatta Rolls.

Bottom line: 9 out of 10.

Wednesday, January 18, 2023

Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread

One summer during my college years, a fellow student named Tim rented one of the vacant rooms in the house I lived in. As I was going about my business in the common areas one day, I noticed a bowl of...something on the seldom-used dining room table. It looked like a science experiment of sorts and smelled vaguely tart.

Tim later explained that it was sourdough starter and that he was going to bake his own bread. He mentioned the sourdough starter needed to rot a bit just sitting at room temperature because that's what made the dough sour. I was a little grossed out but after a day or so, he baked the bread and let me try a bite. It was surprisingly tasty. I mean, I'd obviously had sourdough before, but after seeing it in its primordial form, I didn't expect Tim's batch to taste so good. I've never looked at sourdough the same since.

And if anything, Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread is above average for store-bought pre-sliced sourdough. It's got just the right amount of tang and sourness, and just the right amount of wheat and barley goodness. The texture is just a bit chewier than regular white bread, and it's perfect plain with butter or as the outer layer of a sandwich. It's become one of our regular purchases at TJ's.


I believe it was $2.99 when we bought this last loaf, but it might have gone up recently, as many bread products have. If you feel like getting crafty, there's a recipe for Sweet & Spicy Pimento Grilled Cheese on TJ's official website. It sounds pretty yummy, but what are the odds I'll remember to pick up all those ingredients on the same trip?

Sonia gives Trader Joe's Sourdough Sliced Bread four and a half stars out of five. I give it four.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, January 9, 2023

Trader Joe's Carb Savvy Tortillas


Sonia, my wife, is a proud American, but she's descended from a long line of Mexican ladies that purchased nothing but handmade corn tortillas daily for many generations. A snack we've had at least weekly, if not daily, since we got married over 13 years ago is quesadillas. If we run out of everything else, we've always got little tortillas and some cheese in the fridge. Heat them up, throw on a couple drops of Tapatio or Cholula, and you've got yourself an authentic Mexican-inspired snack.

We've done corn tortillas, flour tortillas, and we've even tried other low-carb tortillas. What I'm trying to get at here is that my beautiful wifey knows her tortillas and is somewhat of a tortilla snob. And I'm slowly becoming one too.

Sonia and I both agree the Mission brand carb balance soft tortillas are surprisingly good. And we both agree that these Trader Joe's Carb Savvy Tortillas made with Whole Wheat are not. In general, they lack flavor. There's a whisper of something oddly nutty by virtue of the whole wheat, but it's just enough to let you know that there's something missing.


The texture is even worse. It's like a thin sheet of leather. It's a little too tough and chewy for either of our tastes. I guess they beat the Mission brand in terms of their lack of carbs. These contain 9 grams of carbohydrates per tortilla compared to Mission's 19 grams each. The difference is tastable.

If you're really concerned about your carb intake and you want to make quesadillas or tacos or wraps or something along those lines, an even lower carb alternative is Trader Joe's Egg Wraps—a product with superior taste and texture, albeit not exactly tortilla-esque, with an extra bit of protein up in the mix and also gluten-free. I guess those wouldn't really work if you're vegan, but that's about the only scenario I can think of where I'd steer you towards these. Are these even vegan? Usually the packaging announces it quite loudly and proudly...

$2.69 for 10 tortillas. Would not buy again. One star from Sonia for Trader Joe's Carb Savvy Tortillas made with Whole Wheat. Two stars from me.

Bottom line: 3 out of 10.

Monday, December 19, 2022

Trader Joe's Fig & Olive Crisps


The box claims that figs and olives have been served together for millennia. Welp, golly. Don't I feel behind the times by a few thousand years. This is the first I've heard of it.

I guess it makes sense. You've got the sweet with the figs and the salty with the olives. Throw in some grains and seeds and you've got the beginnings of a top-shelf hors d'oeuvre right here.


We've seen Trader Joe's do this before. They combine two fascinating ingredients that seem like they'd be at odds with one another and throw them into a crunchy "crisp" format. I'm thinking summer's Strawberry & Jalapeño Crisps as well as the very autumnal Pumpkin Cranberry Crisps. The general verdict: they're good, but they need to be served with a dip, spread, or cheese.

Trader Joe's Fig & Olive Crisps are no different. Both flavor-wise and texture-wise, these crisps can only be fully redeemed with creamy cheeses. The sweet Christmassy figginess does clash with the briny olive flavor in a way when the crisps are consumed sans condiments. But there's just something about a good chevre or even low-brow cream cheese that balances out the flavors just right and tempers the über-crunchiness to a tolerable level. The box also recommends brie, cheddar, or manchego cheese, as well as sliced olives and figs.

I know there are folks out there that love these just the way they are. Sonia and I don't fall into that category 100% but we can see where those folks are coming from. Also, figs are super apropos during Yuletide, so we'll try to be fair and balanced. 

$3.99 for the box. The beautiful wifey gives Trader Joe's Fig & Olive Crisps three and a half stars. I'll throw out three.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Monday, November 28, 2022

Trader Joe's Gluten Free Triple Ginger Muffins


Like raw garlic, ginger is one of those miracle substances that's truly a gift to mankind. It has antibacterial properties. It can lower blood pressure. It can even aid digestion and help fight the common cold. Unlike garlic, it actually lends a great flavor to
candies, sweet beverages, and other treats.

I can't vouch for any health benefits or healing properties from this particular product, but I can tell you it tastes significantly like real, raw, unadulterated ginger. In my opinion, they got the ginger flavor juuust right. It's always a delicate balance. The recently-reviewed Gingerbread Sandwich Cookies didn't have enough real ginger flavor if you ask me, and products like the Ginger, Almond & Cashew Granola had too much raw ginger flavor. This product nailed the ginger level with ginger puree, candied ginger, crystallized ginger, and ground ginger. Wait. That's four kinds of ginger. That makes this product Trader Joe's Gluten Free Quadruple Ginger Muffins. I guess "triple ginger" rolls off the tongue a little better.

The ginger is balanced out by the alternative flours like rice, potato, and tapioca along with a sweetness blend including molasses and brown sugar. Sonia, in particular, loved the molasses and brown sugar. The ginger flavor is powerful, but not overwhelming.


Texture-wise, these are practically identical to October's Gluten Free Pumpkin Streusel Muffins. They're not simply moist or oily, they're nearly wet with a sticky liquid glaze. There's an unusual fresh-baked quality about them, and they don't suffer for a lack of wheat or gluten. Unlike the pumpkin version, these didn't seem to have that grainy or gritty texture at all.

$4.99 for four muffins. Sonia likes pumpkin just a bit more than she likes ginger, so she'll go a half star lower on this one. I'll go half a star higher since these didn't make me cough. So four stars from me, three and a half from the beautiful wifey on Trader Joe's Gluten Free Triple Ginger Muffins.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Thursday, October 20, 2022

Trader Joe's 4 Cheese Pastry Rolls

 


You know...when you read the title "Trader Joe's 4 Cheese Pastry Rolls"....you kinda expect those pastry rolls to have four cheeses, right? That's gotta be the logical interpretation, correct? I mean, why would anyone advertise the quantity of cheese pastry rolls as a leadoff? The number of cheeses, sure thing...but the number of rolls? No way. 

Except...well...

That's not what we got here with Trader Joe's 4 Cheese Pastry Rolls.


There's four of them. They have cheese. It's pastry, and yeah, in enough of a roll form. So it's accurate, but not in the way one might expect. Sigh. 

Basically, instead of delightfully balanced cheese combo, oozing with savory goodness, there's just this sweet cream cheese globbed in. Imagine a cheese danish, without icing, in a croissant roll form, and that's pretty precisely what these rolls are. it's not bad...kinda tasty....but not what I was hoping for when initial purchase made. 

Oh well. 

As a big plus, though, there's no proofing involved here. Bake right from frozen and in less than half an hour, voila. I like the lack of planning and foresight involved. Always a plus. Granted, the offset is a pastry that isnt quite as light and flaky as it could be, but it's decent enough to not warrant any complaints. 


Have no idea what these cost, but likely wasn't much. These were kinda buried in the freezer, which we're trying to rotate stuff out of, so there's that. Decent and tasty enough, even if slightly misleading on initial glance. Eh well. Meh. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 4 Cheese Pastry Rolls: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Tuesday, October 18, 2022

Trader Joe's Cinnamon Roll Drizzled Granola

Granola, deservedly or otherwise, has a reputation of being a somewhat healthy, tasty, hippie-ish kinda thing to eat. Cinnamon rolls, very deservedly, have a reputation of being one of the utmost of decadence, a timeless, classic culinary masterpiece when warm and gooey with all sorts of butter and sugar and other not so healthy things. 

Mash 'em together in Trader Joe's Cinnamon Roll Drizzled Granola and whatcha got?

It's pretty tasty, that's what it is....but it's neither really a cinnamon roll or granola. I call this kinda thing the Rhode Island phenomenon. Discuss!

Part of the whole appeal of a classic cinnamon roll is the soft, warm, inviting bite into it, right? That warm gooiness that just invites your incisors to do their thang....yum. That's just not here, of course. instead, it's these large chunks of rolled oats that are room temperature and chewy and at times quite a mouthful. In my experience so far, there's been a few stray harder bits of grit that weren't anticipated, which thankfully didn't mess up my dental work. Granted, there's lot of the taste of a cinnamon roll, as it's replicated well here - plenty of cinnamon and brown sugar, and that cool icing drizzled atop - but, unshockingly, it's not exactly the real deal. 

And it's not quite granola either. My lovely bride had some and stated she'd never pour some into a bowl and splash some milk atop. I'd agree, this doesn't have that vibe. It's just too large and chunky and yeah i guess you could break it up....and the package itself recommends eating it cereal style...but I just can't see it. Same deal with busting some up to put on yogurt or whatever. Nah, all this is more close to just straight up snack out out of the bag.

In all, I like this the TJ's cinna roll granola but consider it to be almost more like a candy than anything else...except baked oat candy probably doesn't exist...yet. It's just so much sugar, especially that drizzle everywhere splattered on everything and holding it all together. Less of that could be more here. The granola's get enough going for it for me to give it a pass over all and it's a probable repurchase for the $5 or so it cost. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Cinnamon Roll Drizzled Granola: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Wednesday, September 28, 2022

Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola

Oh man, let's just try to work through this here. 

At first glance, it really looks like the real name of this product is....ready for it....Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola Cookies & Creme Inspired Granola Clusters. That's a real mouth full. it's a good thing that a "granola cookie" really isn't a thing - I mean, it sounds an edgier, crunchier oatmeal cookie - but as a guy who's eaten, reviewed and researched many a cookie, I've never heard of them. I'm now patiently waiting for you all to prove me wrong that such a thing does exist, and if so, I'll give you my mailing address and eagerly wait an up-close inspection. 

So, really, it's "just" Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola, but with all those potentially possessive 'postrophes, there's a question of ownership and chain of command. I mean, it's my granola! Hands off now Joe-Joe...and Trader Joe's...it's mine and you won't want it when I'm done with it. 

Enough banter, let's get to it. Joe-Joe's, of course, are TJ's answer to the all time classic Oreo sandwich cookie. They're pretty nondescript, except to say it's a bit of a tasty knockoff, but it's fun to incorporate them into things like ice cream, and now, apparently, granola. 

This stuff is seriously crisp and crunchy, much more than regular granola. Perhaps the addition/utilization of coconut is the reason. This crunchy crispy clusters will give your molars a work out right out of the bag, and honestly, not even milk will soften it, at least in the few minutes it'd take to scarf down a bowl. Super crunchy and munchy. I dig. 

And if cookies and creme is your bag, this'll deliver. There's plenty of not-precisely-Oreo Oreo flavor that delivers - just the right amount of chocolate amped up by the little choco-bits strewn about, and a good hint of the vanilla creme filling too. What's missing is the full, rich, creaminess from the filling of the cookie - naturally, a little milk helps bring it out, a little, and it totally makes sense why it's not all quite there. It's a pretty good adaptation for what it is. 

Pour some in a bowl and drown in milk, or grab a handful and toss in some yogurt, or just straight mash it down the gullet. it's all good. The granola is pretty filling for what it is, and I'd say it delivers. No real complaints from my lovely bride and I - it's solid, tasty, not quite transcendent, but pretty tasty overall. We're pretty happy here. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Joe-Joe's Granola: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons 
 

Friday, September 23, 2022

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Brioche Twist

If you're a carnivore, you eat nothing but meat. And what is meat but the muscles of animals? Also, not surprisingly, since "you are what you eat," a strict carnivore's physique generally becomes more and more muscular.

I'm not sure when I first heard it or who coined the word, but one of the funniest food puns I've ever heard is the word "carbivore" to describe those of us who are naturally inclined to breads and other carbohydrates. And unfortunately, carbivores tend to become what they eat as well, and they get a little doughy in the middle.

I must admit, although I'm in a constant battle against my cravings, I'm naturally fairly carbivorous myself. I've never met a piece of brioche toast I didn't like. And this one is no exception—with swirls of pumpkin puree, brown sugar, and pumpkin spice all through it. Yum. This loaf is pre-sliced perfectly for a traditional toaster. Just grab a piece, pull off the wax paper liner, warm it up, add a bit of butter. Perfection.


Again, maybe my critical standards go out the window when carbs are involved. Maybe I'm not thinking clearly, but I just can't think of any complaints. 

Some might say this is just glorified cinnamon bread and they wouldn't be entirely wrong, but the fall-ish flavors are well-balanced—neither too dominant nor too subtle. The texture is soft and supple and the bread just melts in your mouth. I could eat the whole loaf in a single day.

Sonia absolutely loved this product, too. Her only complaint was that the slices might be just a tad too thick, just barely clearing the slots in our toaster, width-wise. Also, she forgot to peel off the liner paper once or twice, so...there's that. She made French toast out of a couple of the pieces and added maple syrup. I'll agree that they were superbly scrumptious, but I'd rather save this brioche bread to eat by itself and have her make French toast out of regular bread.

But I'm getting off track. This is an outstanding fall product by my estimation. I hope it returns next year. $4.49 for about 9 slices. Five stars from me. Four and a half from the beautiful wifey.

Bottom line: 9.5 out of 10.

Monday, September 12, 2022

Trader Joe's Brussels Sprouts & Uncured Bacon Ravioli

 

There's nary a veggie our family doesn't love. Our twice a week Costco bill surely validates that. The only veggie I remain fairly wary of would be a kohlrabi, just because it looks too much like something I should yank from the ground and toss at a Shy Guy or Ostro a la Super Mario 2....that game frustrated me too much as a kid, and even in recent years, trying to show my kids how "awesome" it was. I don't need memories of my 8 bit trauma on my dinner plate. 

But yeah, even Brussels sprouts make the cut here. Love 'em in all varieties of ways, but mixin' 'em with bacon makes 'em even better. So, totes obvi, Trader Joe's Brussels Sprouts & Uncured Bacon Ravioli was a must get once they popped up in store. 

You gotta really like bacon to like these pasta creations. Yes, the ravioli is green as it has some spinach powder added to try to amp up the sprout factor. Maybe it's supposed to look like some sort of cruciferous concoction. But really....take a bite. It's bacon! So much of it, all ground up and mixed in with some not too chunky Brussels, and a smattering of cheese sauce-ish base. The package also says caramelized onions, and yeah, if I tried hard enough, I could kinda taste them...but mostly, it was bacon and soft cheese with only the occasional fibrous lil chunkie that suggested vegetative content. 

In other words, you're gonna want some veggies on the side here, folks. 

Nonetheless, it was a quick, tasty, fun meal. All we did was boil them up which took no time as they're sold fresh, then we added a little oil. The kids sprinkled (or in the case of our seven year old, totally cakked them) with Parmesan cheese, whereas I was pretty content to eat them as is. The ravioli would probably do okay with a variety of sauces, but perhaps a lighter one would be suggested - I feel as though some taste would get lost in something too creamy, too heavy or too rich. 

$3.99 for a package that yield two pretty ample servings. That seems about right, with prices what they are these days.  Two packages were more than enough four crew. These will be a staple for a quick, easy, fairly delish family meal this fall. Double fours here. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Brussels Sprouts & Uncured Bacon Ravioli: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, August 1, 2022

Trader Joe's Naturally Flavored Strawberry Waffles

 

It's August, so in just a few week's time it's gonna be back to school time...may as well start stocking up on what we're gonna need. Notebooks, pencils, crayon, whatever else we usually raid from Staples or wherever, and man, we gotta find our one kid's iPad we hid so well we can't find it ourselves. 

And while we're at it, may as well back up the truck on some Trader Joe's Naturally Flavored Strawberry Waffles. 

Freezer waffles are a constant in our house, but especially during the school year. Quick, easy, portable, tasty enough breakfast on the go - what's not to like? Heck, I'd go as far as to say they're practically a necessity, given the precaffeinated chaos that usually arises as we keep one ear open for the distant rumble of an approaching school bus.

It's nice to have variety, though, which is exactly what we got here from TJ's. Not just a plain waffle...or blueberry...or an unexpectedly wise mango...but strawberry. It's a change up, and a welcome one at that. There's everything to like here if you're a fruity freezer waffle aficonado like we are. 

For one, as we had hoped for and expected,  the waffles themselves are relatively hefty and bready. We like our Eggos here, but you know how lightweight they are? It's not quite the same here. I mean, it doesn't beat an actual waffle waffle, but for a freezer waffle, there's some serious substance to them. 

The batter is, of course, pretty neutrally flavored with a tinge of sweetness, which complements the strawberries pretty well. And there's a lot of berry buried in there too, more than meets the eye. There's little puree pockets and berry bits all strewn about and mixed in, and seem almost jam-like at times. Which leads me to my next point: while I'm sure maple syrup would work okay here, if you like sugar overload, the real play just might be some peanut or almond or sunflower seed butter here. Make it taste like a sammich, and more easily portable too. Win win. 

Our kiddos devoured the whole box in less than 10 minutes. I'm lucky I snagged one! And only $1.99 for the box! Or was it $2.99? I'm sorry, summer brain drain going on here, maybe I need to go back to school myself. Absolutely worth a pick up, and I'd buy a pallet full if it were practical. Sorry for the somewhat beat up box pics, but that's what you get when your four year old wants to be helpful and cram them into an already full freezer compartment...if we had more freezer space, I'd buy at least a case. That'd get ravaged here in no time. Fours all around. 

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Naturally Flavored Strawberry Waffles: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Friday, July 29, 2022

Trader Joe's Mini Meyer Lemon Biscotti


Trader Joe's will make a coffee drinker out of me yet if they keep putting out delicious flavors of biscotti. Apparently, this one's been around for a while. Not sure why it took us so long to actually purchase it, but here are our thoughts...

Very hard. They really need to be paired with coffee. I suppose tea or hot chocolate might work, too, but they have to have a hot beverage to really permeate their inner layers. I tried a couple with cold milk and it just didn't work. I mean, flavor-wise it was fine, but the biscotti were still too hard.


Like Sonia, I think most people will be perfectly happy with how lemony these biscotti are. I, however, always want more lemon flavor—or in this case Meyer lemon flavor—in pretty much everything. Still, there's a respectable amount of lemon, which I appreciate. I can't tell whether the zig-zaggy icing is lemon flavored as well or if it's just sugary sweet. I suppose it's there more for the visuals than any actual flavor.

The miniature size is fun and convenient. They're still long enough to get pretty far down into your coffee mug, and their texture is just about perfect once they've sopped up a bunch of warm java—almost like a fresh-baked cookie, but wetter.


$3.99 for 16 miniature sticks of biscotti, which apparently equals eight servings. We'd probably buy again. Four stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Friday, June 3, 2022

Trader Joe's Cocoa & Sea Salt Instant Oatmeal


Oatmeal isn't the most exciting food in the world, but I've never minded it. I've never exactly adored it, either. You just have to jazz it up a bit, you know? Add some fruit, maple syrup, or maybe
some pickle seasoning and you're in business. It's simple, nutritious, and filling, even if it lacks fancy colors and fantastic flavors, it's still a staple for many people around the world, including most Americans. In short: don't despise the small and common things like oatmeal in this life, and if you—or Trader Joe's—does something to make it magically delicious, then all the more power to you and your gourmet-ish breakfast.

Cocoa and sea salt? Not the first combo I'd think to throw in my bowl of oatmeal, but I must admit it works. I tried a wee bit of the mix before heating it in the same way I might lick the batter off the mixing spoon before baking cookies. Yeah. No. Don't do that. It's not the same thing. It's gross. All I could taste was the salt. It was a little bitter...and extremely salty.


After a brief spell in the microwave, however, cocoa was indeed the dominant flavor. The sea salt was still detectable but much more subtle. There's still that ever-present wholesome nutty oat flavor that always seems to accompany oatmeal, but the cocoa flavor made it even more pleasant.

It's not over-the-top chocolatey, either. It's not like a dessert or even like a kid's chocolate cereal. There's just a moderately sweet cocoa essence and a touch of saltiness, appropriately balanced against the oatmeal's intrinsic graininess. Sonia adds walnuts to hers for protein and even more nutty goodness. She says she likes it more and more with each bowl she has.

I like it too, but maybe not quite as much as the beautiful wifey. Of course we make ours with milk. Or in the absence of cow's milk, we use almond milk, or possibly some mixture of half and half and water. If I were TJ's marketing guru, I'd call it Trader Joe's Cocoatmeal, and there would be a chocolate vampire or cuckoo bird on the box. Even though it's not really aimed at sweet-toothed children, the box is a bit boring and doesn't do the product justice in our opinions.

$2.99 for 10 packets of oatmeal. Good value. Will buy again. Four and a half stars from Sonia. Three and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Friday, May 27, 2022

Trader Joe's Hot Dog Buns


Unable to procure the brioche, New England style, or gluten-free hot dog buns we've heard so much about, Sonia and I grabbed these regular old Trader Joe's Hot Dog Buns for our Memorial Day festivities this year. In addition to remembering those who made the ultimate sacrifice for our country and making sure the lawn is mowed and tidy, it's also obligatory to cook and consume at least one meat product outdoors on this last weekend in May, you know, if you're an American. I mean, if you're vegan or something like that, you can do veggie burgers or veggie dogs and I'm cool with that. I'm just pointing out that in our never-ending quest to pretend we're normal, Sonia and I made it a point to purchase and consume some buns and all-beef franks for this traditional kickoff-to-summer weekend—and we sampled a couple in advance for this review.


In addition to good taste and a nice, soft texture, I'm looking for at least one other thing in a hot dog bun: the ability to effectively and securely cradle a hot dog. On the taste and texture points, these buns get near top marks. On that last matter, Sonia and I both found this bread product slightly wanting.

They just aren't the ideal shape for hot dog buns. The buns splay apart and create a sort of v-shape that you can stick a hot dog into, but each side of the bun isn't particularly stable and is prone to breakage. It's like they're too square. It's very similar to eating a hot dog with two halves of a slice of regular bread—something I'm sure most of us have done, since they always put a different number of buns and dogs in single packs. You know, there's 10 hot dogs and only 8 buns. You either have to do some math and find the lowest common denominator and eat hot dogs every day for like a month, or you have a couple dogs left over—and you wind up eating them with hamburger buns, regular sliced bread, or you wind up chopping them up and eating them with mac and cheese or whatever.


But again, they tasted fine. Ours were fresh, pliable, bready, and yummy. They're about as firm as the leading brand's buns, at least in terms of mouthfeel. No complaints there. Decent value, too, at $1.99 for 8 buns. It's just they have that weird shape, and they wanted to fall apart so easily, dumping pieces of hot dog onto the ground. At least it made the dogs happy—and by "dogs" here, I mean the canines, AKA mutts, AKA Alfred and Sadie.

Three stars from the beautiful wifey. Three and a half from yours truly for Trader Joe's Hot Dog Buns.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.