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Showing posts with label beverages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beverages. Show all posts

Wednesday, September 16, 2020

Trader Joe's Dairy-Free Cold Brew Almond Macadamia Latte Coffee Beverage

Like most Americans, Sonia and I are hopelessly addicted to caffeine. She's a big coffee drinker and a connoisseur of all things derived from the brewed bean: mocha, latte, cappuccino, you name it. I'm more of an energy drink guy myself. Throughout my misspent youth, I'd drink sodas like Mountain Dew and Dr. Pepper for caffeine, and then switched over to energy drinks after the advent of Red Bull, Rockstar, and Monster.

At any rate, we both get headaches after just 24 hours without a heavy dose of the common stimulant. If coffee is the only source of caffeine around, I'll drink it. Once in a while I'll get desperate enough to drink regular cola again in the absence of other caffeinated beverages, despite a severe aversion to HFCS these days. This stuff, on the other hand? You'd have to twist my arm pretty hard to get me to take another sip of this drink, let alone a whole bottle.

Right after taking an initial sip, I had Sonia try it, desperately trying to mask my disgust so as to elicit an unbiased reaction from her. She reacted similarly. We decided to check the "best by" date just to be sure it hadn't turned. According to the little stamp on the side of the bottle, we had one day to spare. 

I mean, it's not like we don't enjoy nut milks. The combo of almond and macadamia sounded fairly alluring to both of us, especially to my better half. And you can taste a decent amount of nuttiness underneath an acrid coffee flavor, initially. But immediately after detecting the earthy vegan coffee blend in this beverage, there's a fairly intense bitterness that washes over your palate.

We get it. They were going for a healthy beverage without much in the way of sweetener. But this brew needs a little something. And by "a little something," I mean a LOT of something. It's full of protein and decidedly devoid of bad stuff, but neither of us could really get into the taste. Sonia was good enough to finish the bottle, and she noted that by the end, it wasn't quite as revolting as the first few swigs. I noped out after about a sip and a half. 

$2.99 for the bottle. Two stars from me. Two and a half from Sonia. Not a repeat purchase.

Bottom line: 4.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, September 9, 2020

Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Maple Oat Beverage

Ah yes, it's that time of year at last.

Warm summer afternoons fade into cool nights. There's small incremental tinges of oranges and reds and yellows in the leaves. The kids are finally back at school...kinda, but in our dining room...at least there's no mad morning rush to catch the bus this year...still, I digress. Crockpots are being taken out of storage, football is about to be back, and the Pittsburgh Pirates have a less than 1% chance of making the playoffs. All of these are sure signs that fall is peeking just around the corner.

There's one last autumnal harbinger, one that's kinda a big deal for most of you, but that I detest: it's pumpkin spice season. Blahhhh.

I'm sure in the litany of this blog I've posted a lengthy tirade against pumpkin spice everything at some point. I lack the energy or desire to do so again. Plus there's too much other animosity out there these days. I've made my peace with pumpkin spice - if you enjoy your pumpkin spice lattes and enchiladas and TP and who knows what else, go for it, I won't be partaking so there's more for you.

And meanwhile I'll be focusing on maple. Yes, I know maple season is really late winter into spring when the sap is collected and boiled...but there's almost always more maple products this time of year. I guess it has something to do with it being a tree flavor.

New to the maple lineup this year is Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Maple Oat Beverage. granted, oat milk isn't the first thing I'd think to add a hint of maple too...but it's a good concept, right? Oatmeal by itself is kinda plain, but adding milk and maple syrup turns it into a verifiable treat. Now you can get some of the residual tasty treeat without the big bowl of oatmeal first.

Or something like that. Indeed, that's really what the TJ's maple oat beverage tastes like - the milk left over in the bottom of the bowl of oatmeal with maple syrup and milk. Less chunky, of course, and that's a good thing. It's still creamy, however, like a decent "regular" milk but with a slight touch of graininess mixed in. It's neither distracting nor unpleasant, but occasionally noticeable.

The maple flavor itself is actually scarcely more than a small hint. I think that adds some versatility to the product - use as a regular drink, pour over a wide variety of cereals (not Pumpkin Spice O's though), add a splash to coffee instead of creamer and sugar. The maple beverage isn't an all out maplicious sugarbomb of a treat, but more of a subtle pleasure. Me personally? I'm not much of a milk person in any way, shape or form, so while I've tried it I'm not going to be guzzling down this beverage by any means. But it's still a legit treat. Gotta love anything maple.

My lovely bride is more gungho than I. She's been scheming different ways to use the milk, as well as already lamenting its eventual seasonal rotation out. Til then, she'll be using a lot in her coffee as she helps oversee a couple kids navigating elementary school on Zoom calls and iPads. You know, like the good ol' days. Or something. Her only maple oat drink-related wish would be for it to be a touch more maple-y, but she's in love as is. Four from her, and I'll tack on a few of my own.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Maple Oat Beverage: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons






Monday, August 10, 2020

Trader Joe's Organic 100% Pomegranate Juice

Eating a pomegranate is such a unique experience. The Punica granatum's insides don't resemble any other common fruit. The husk part is bejeweled with dozens of tiny red seeds. Popping the little red morsels out with a spoon can be tedious, but the crunch and the unique sweet-tart berry-esque flavor make it so worth it.

I'm not even sure how you'd juice a pomegranate. The seeds are such a small portion of the entire fruit, and even those are mostly a starchy white material coated with something slick and juicy. They must just crush all the seeds and then strain out the starchy pulp..? That's just a guess. Considering how tiresome it is to eat pomegranate, it must be even more laborious to juice one.

Fortunately, we don't have to juice the fruit ourselves. All we have to do is drink it. But even that might not be easy for some.

Upon first opening the bottle, there was a whiff of something nearly beet-ish. I'm not a fan of plain beet juice, so it was a little off-putting. I poured a glass each for Sonia and me. 

The taste of the beverage is something more in the direction of cranberry, at least at first. It's sweet and sour—tart enough to make you pucker. Up front, the flavor seems pleasant enough to me, but just a moment later, the finish hits you with a wave of dry bitterness that's hard to describe and not particularly palatable to me or the wifey. It's a biting, caustic essence that can potentially mar any element of enjoyment that may have occurred just a second or two prior.

In my opinion, the astringent aftertaste doesn't completely ruin the experience. But if you ask Sonia, she'll say otherwise. She noped out after just a few sips.

I've managed to consume at least half the bottle on this hot August Sunday afternoon. Compared to other more prevalent fruit juices, it's not particularly refreshing or chuggable. Both Sonia and I find it significantly less drinkable than POM Wonderful. I'm thinking of it as a unique non-alcoholic red wine meant to be served chilled—a select strain from the vineyard that I just don't quite "get" yet. I keep drinking it thinking it'll grow on me. It wouldn't be the first beverage that was unappealing to me initially but slowly became a staple in my fridge over time.

As it stands now, I think I'll go with three stars. After all, it's organic and full of antioxidants. I'm choosing to see it as an adventure, and an experience—much like the eating of pomegranate seeds. Sonia gives it two stars, stating that the aftertaste just ruins it for her.

Bottom line: 5 out of 10.

Friday, July 31, 2020

Trader Joe's Organic Cold Brew Black Tea Concentrate

July is such a long month. After the Fourth, it's pretty anticlimactic: no big holidays or festivities to look forward to. Sonia and I don't even have any birthdays among our immediate family or close friends. Also, it's the hottest month. It's like the summer version of January. Thirty-one days of extreme weather. Even before lockdowns and stay-at-home orders, it was a time for me to hide inside and enjoy the air conditioning.

Last year, we spent most of July in the Pacific Northwest, where the temps weren't so bad. Highs in the 70's through this part of the summer? Yes, please. But this year, it's not as easy to galavant across the country with reckless abandon, so inside in the AC is where we've spent most of the month. And any refreshing cold beverages that can help beat the heat are most welcome.

This isn't the first TJ's brand tea concentrate we've tried, but it's the first one with plain black tea. I think it's new. But then again, I think everything I see at Trader Joe's that I haven't noticed before is new, and in some cases, it's a product that's been there for a decade or more. So you tell me if it's new. I'll believe you either way.

This particular product comes in a single pint bottle that makes "up to one gallon of tea." So let's break this puppy open and add some sugar and lemon juice and see what we get...

First impressions: it's good. Just how good it tastes to your palate is going to largely depend upon how you prepare it. How much water did you use? How much sugar or agave syrup did you add? Did you add lemon juice?

In light of that, I'm pretty sure that anyone who likes iced tea is going to find a way to tailor this stuff to their own personal tastes. I once had a conversation with a Southerner who, as many Southerners are, was a sweet tea aficionado. In my Yankee ignorance, I posed the question: "Couldn't you just, you know, like add your own sugar to unsweetened tea?" 

His response: "Or I could just stab your mother."

I think he was joking, mostly. But the takeaway was that you can not simply add sugar to iced tea in order to make true Southern style sweet tea. So you Southern folks might not be super enthused about this product. Me? I guess ignorance is bliss, because I like it quite a bit. I made mine on the strong side and added a good amount of sugar and lemon.

Sonia likes it, too. She used agave and didn't make hers quite as sweet or as strong. I really think that's the biggest strength of this tea: its versatility. It's about $5 for the little bottle, but as it states on the traderjoes website, you're getting organic cold brew tea for about 31 cents per cup. That's darn cheap. I think we're looking at four stars a piece here.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, July 29, 2020

Trader Joe's Roasted Barley Tea

"Cheerios water."

For better, or for worse, or for whatever reason, those were the first words out of my mouth after my first sip of a new icy cool Trader Joe's Roasted Barley Tea.

"Ch...Cheerios water? What the heck are ya talking about, and how would you know what Cheerios water would taste like? You tryin' that out on you own time or sometime?"

"Heck no. But like...if I had a bowl of Cherrios, but instead of milk poured water over it, ate the Cheerios, then drank the water, I think this would taste like that."

"Okay, weirdo. It's..." pauses for another sip "...more like coffee. Like a really weak coffee, like what I'd imagine emergency ration coffee would be like, all watered down and everything...which I hope we won't find out what that'll be like..."

"Thanks for the stark assessment, love."

Well, there ya have it. There's a little slice of life between my lovely bride and I the other night, after making a quick stop at TJ's after a long hot day capped off with a family bike ride to try and save some of our collective sanity. Left us parched, and I figured no better time to give a new beverage a try.

For a first time tryer of boricha (the actual Korean name for this type of drink, though I make no claim to this TJ's version's authenticity), it's so simple a drink, yet one that leaves me intrigued. I mean, literally, it tastes like nothing but grain, kinda, and water. There's no sugar, no other flavors or spices or anything to "liven" it up. It's barley...and water. Part of me wants to be all wiseguy 'merican and say to add malt and hops and then we might really be on to something, but that's not what we have here.

It's light but not overtly crisp and I waver on calling it refreshing or not. I'm sure some folks could consider it that, but I'm not quite on board. It's not awful, by any stretch, and I definitely enjoyed it the more I drank it, but I didn't finish the bottle entirely overjoyed, either. Yet I wish to try it again, and for $1.19 a bottle it's a low priced gamble.

I just noticed on the bottle it said it the barley tea can be served hot or cold. If it ever cools down, I'll definitely have try a heated up version - honestly I think I'd enjoy it more that way, but not when it's in the mid 90s and I have no AC, thank you very much.

Not overly in love, but I'll try it again for sure. That warrants a three in my book, subject to change with further experience. Despite our exclusive to ourselves oddities, my wife shares in this assessment with a three of her own.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Roasted Barley Tea: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Thursday, July 23, 2020

Trader Joe's Sparkling Black Tea with Peach Juice Beverage

There's some pretty ridiculous things to read out there these days. Most comment sections of anything, depending on your definition of ridiculous - it's not always haha funny but often times facepalm inducing. Except here, of course. And there's things like the Birds Aren't Real conspiracy theories - the whole quarantine thing going on is to change their batteries - or Letterkenny scripts so you can read what you mighta missed...and on, and on, and on, with all the time we got on our hands these days.

And there's some little, smaller, more subtle gems like Trader Joe's Sparkling Black tea with Peach Juice Beverage.

It's tea...with juice...that's a beverage.

I mean, how many redundant synonyms must we go through to get the idea that this is in fact a drink?

One could argue that the terms black tea and peach juice are more adjective than noun
. but just calling it "Sparkling Black Tea with Peach Juice" is perfectly adequate without tacking on beverage. Heck, you could likely squeeze out the juice too.

There's another little gem on the package as well: "Once can is opened, keep refrigerated and consume within 1 day." C'mon now. these are packaged inside those teeny tiny little cans, the ones that seem so trendy these days. It's not all that difficult to drain all contents in one go if one were to feel inclined. The only scenario I can envision not finishing a can of this size is sheer forgetfulness or neglect, in which case it will likely not end up in the fridge anyways...which is how everyone else in my house aside from me seems to operate.

Anyways, all that aside, I love this new addition to the TJ's summertime lineup. If peach tea is your thing, you'll love it. It's fun to drink - I thought, going in, that fizzy tea might be a bit odd, but nah, it works. All those happy little bubbles floating their way on down adds a great little touch. For flavor, the classic black tea taste is complemented nicely and crisply with the peach, and from the looks of things, real peach too, none of that from concentrate stuff. It's light and sweet but never sticky or overbearing or has the feel of being fancy-shmancy sugar water. Nope. it's just good honest liquid refreshment for this horrid summer months.

A four-pack will set ya back about $3, or maybe it's $4. Once again, I lost the receipt. How many times have you read that on this blog? Ridiculous. I'm a sucker for home brewed sweet tea, so i'm not gonna say this is my new summer drink of choice (especially because I have my doubts of how well it'd mix with anything boozy) but it'll be a repeat buy for sure. Double fours.

Bottom line:  Trader Joe's Sparkling Black Tea with Peach Juice Beverage: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Wednesday, June 24, 2020

Trader Joe's Hibiscus Lemongrass Sparkling Beverage


Both Sonia and I have "black thumbs." We've attempted growing plants throughout the years both inside and outside, large plants and small, flowers and vegetables, succulents and cacti, and each and every time, we manage to kill them in short order.

We actually had some lemongrass when we lived in New Jersey to help mitigate the out-of-control mosquito population in our backyard. We'd read that it's best to dig up the lemongrass by the root and put them in planters and bring them inside for the winter, although alternatively, you could trim them back and put some kind of covering over them to protect them from frost. They actually do the same thing with palm trees at the shore. Not that there are many reasons to go there in the offseason, but if you ever find yourself in Wildwood in the winter, you'll see random skinny tropical trees with big plastic bags on the tops lining the vacant beaches and empty boardwalks.


Anyway, since we lacked the space to house multiple large lemongrass plants inside, we opted for the method where you leave them outside. The bags we put on them blew away and they were thoroughly exposed to frost for months on end and they never came back in the spring. Byebye, lemongrass.

But while we had the plants, they did seem to keep the mosquitoes at bay to a certain extent, and they provided a lovely citrusy fragrance that would waft through the yard on summer evenings. When I'd clip the lemongrass with the weed whacker inadvertently while doing yard work, the lemony smell was even more pleasant and powerful. 

I often wondered if I could grab a handful of their long skinny leaves and grind them into a pulp and use them as a seasoning for food or flavoring for a beverage. That's almost the notion I get from this interesting sparkling drink from TJ's—that some dude just wandered into his backyard and snagged some leaves and flowers and stuck it in his Soda Stream water and made a unique homemade thirst-quencher.

It tastes very non-commercial, if that makes sense. It's barely sweet at all and tastes quite planty. There's just a hint of that lemony lemongrass essence and a whole lot of hibiscus flavor. I mean, I guess that's misleading to say it has "a whole lot" of any flavor. The taste is quite mellow. It just errs on the side of flowery rather than lemony or grassy.

I wonder if I couldn't achieve something similar by just grabbing some dandelions and ivy from the local park and mixing them with fizzy water. All in all, it's unusual and refreshing, but the flavor isn't something that I'd seek out in the future. Sonia enjoys the taste much more than I do, but then she generally likes hibiscus, and I generally don't.

$4.99 for four 12oz cans. It makes an interesting adult beverage when mixed with gin, so I'll be kind and give it two and a half stars. Sonia will go with four this time.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Friday, June 19, 2020

Trader Joe's Fresh Squeezed Lemonade

Neither Sonia nor I can recall ever having truly homemade lemonade in our lives, which probably puts us among the least-qualified Americans to review this product. But heck, it's almost summer—the solstice is this weekend, in fact—and lemonade is very much a staple of these warmer months, so we'll take a look at it anyway.

I grew up with store-bought lemonades of various brands, most notably Minute Maid and Turkey Hill. I'm not sure why, but I don't think I had even heard of limeade until my teens. My head exploded when I first realized people did to limes what I had previously thought only done to lemons, and since that moment, I've been a limeade devotee.

Maybe it's a Latin-American thing, or possibly a west coast thing, but Sonia grew up with limeade as the staple citrus fruit-based beverage available in her childhood refrigerator. She's always preferred it to lemonade. So again, considering our bias towards limes over lemons and commercially-manufactured juices over the kind mama made, maybe we shouldn't be reviewing this fresh squeezed lemonade product...but here goes just the same.

We've seen numerous iterations of lemonade from Trader Joe's throughout the years, although most have been combined with other elements like tea or other juices. So what makes this one different?

First, it's unpasteurized. They keep all those tasty bacteria in this version—for extra flavor, I guess? Maybe the acidity of the lemon juice keeps the little buggers at bay without necessitating any heat via pasteurization. I'm sure someone will enlighten us via our illustrious comments section.

Second, there are only three ingredients. Three. Water, lemon juice, sugar. That's my favorite thing about this product. It's simple. In these days of complexity, it's nice to see something so clean and straightforward.

Mind you, if I had been the one formulating this product, I might have reversed those last two ingredients. I might have put sugar ahead of lemon juice and made this beverage predominantly sweet, rather than tart. I'm not saying it's not sweet. I'm just saying it leans in the direction of sour more than sugary. Sonia agrees. It's still refreshing. It's still got what I would assume is a "homemade quality" about it.

We both liked it just fine, but we would like to see a Trader Joe's Fresh Squeezed Limeade on the shelves next time with the exact same ingredients used here, except with "lime juice" replacing "lemon juice." Limes are sweeter than lemons, so that might knock the tartness down a notch. Also, tequila works okay with lemonade, but it's absolutely perfect with lime-based beverages. Am I right?

If you love the tartness of real lemon juice, you'll likely love this remarkably uncomplicated beverage. $3.49 for the 1.6 quart bottle. This product gets three and a half stars a piece from Sonia and me.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Friday, June 12, 2020

Trader Joe's Coconut & Almond Creamer

Ahh, coffee. So good, right? And who knew how wrong I've been making it for years?

It's simple, actually. We just bought a kitchen scale for use for baking and fermenting, but my lovely bride Sandy just realized we should be using it to make coffee, too, for our French press. Something about 1 gram of coffee for every 15 grams of water or something....for someone one so math adverse as her, I'm surprised she took it on. But dang! Awesome coffee every time she's made it that way. Smooth, mild, highly drinkable, enough kick. Coffeehouse quality, as simple as that, for a fraction of the cost.

Of course, I haven't embraced or learned this new to us method quite yet, so when I had to make some brew to get us going yesterday, I reverted to the old ways. Grind some beans, dump in an approximate amount, pour water til it looked about right. Result? Comparatively speaking, it was barely drinkable. Looks like I'm going have to do some coffee break science from now on.

About the only thing that made my coffee drinkable was Trader Joe's Coconut & Almond Creamer. Or so says Sandy, I choked down my coffee as is, but when she's gone for creamy coffee recently this has been her choice.

Obviously, it's dairy free. So that's an okay start...we both can handle lactose just fine but prefer to save as much as we can for cheese. Coconut creamer can tend to be a little too heavy, while almond creamer never really seems to make coffee quite creamy enough by itself, so a good blend of the two seems to make the right kind of sense to approximate "regular" creamer the closest.

Not too much coconut or almond flavor comes through - a little, sure, but it's not gonna taste like a flavored latte. The small hint of vanilla helps smooth all that over as well.

 Anyways if you're looking for a decent dairy-free alternative to the usual half and half, giving this one a try wouldn't be a bad idea. I have a feeling we'll be restocking on an as-needed basis, until I can convince Sandy to go all black coffee like I do. I don't have much of say here, so like our old way of making coffee, I'm gonna approximate and hope for the best when I say a seven overall. I forgot to take a pic of the nutritional info so check it out here.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Coconut & Almond Creamer: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Tuesday, June 9, 2020

Josephsbrau Drive Thru Red

One of these years, when the state of the world, the status of the ol' bank account, and the mindset of my family all magically coincide, I want to go out to the West Coast for a long trip up and thru the redwoods of Northern California. I've been to SoCal, and Disney Land and Joshua Tree National Park and San Diego, which were all pretty fun but no further north than Anaheim.  It just looks awe-inspiring, and with enough wineries around, I'm sure my lovely bride would be happy enough as well.

Such a trip is definitely not on the table this year, but what we can do is a day trip from the 'burgh over to Ohio, stop at a state park attraction or two, and meander over towards the Cleveland area Trader Joe's and load up on all the beverages that good ol' PA won't allow them to sell. It's family fun combined with a business trip, so that's what we did, and one of the many sixpacks I came home with was Josephbrau Drive Thru Red, and it just so happened to be the first I dug into.

The name "Drive Thru Red" is thankfully not an endorsement of drinking while operating motor vehicle but rather is inspired by literally driving thru the famous Chandelier tree. A quick Google image search reveals where TJ's got the inspiration for the package artwork. Heck yeah, if I were ever in the area, I'd totally go do that.

But for now, while stuck in La Backyarda or El Porcho for the most part, I wouldn't mind having a few more of these dry hopped red ales on hand. For a beer that runs at 7.2% ABV it's remarkably smooth and goes down easily. As with most dry hopped beers, there's not too much bitterness hitting from the hops, but rather a balance from the inherent maltiness of the ale. The colder the beer is, the better it tastes to my palate, which isn't always the case with beer. Even my usually hops-avoidant wife didn't mind the overall taste and feel of the beer. I personally prefer the bitterness and think this could be the makings of a terrific IPA, which is my only knock, and it's a pretty light one at that.

And it's cheap! Well, comparatively. I'm pretty sure it's a buck per bottle. That's much less than anything at the local bar and on par if not even less than Yuengling, the Pennsylvania standard lager. If not for being over a two hour drive away for the closest alcohol friendly TJ's, this beer would be an absolute summer staple at my house.

Good solid beer, for sure. Drive Thru Red reminds me there are things to look forward to, while offering a little something for now. Double fours.

Bottom line: Josephbrau Drive thru Red: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Tuesday, April 14, 2020

Trader Joe's 100% Ginger Drink Mix

You are what you eat...and apparently now I can officially be what I drink!

Yup, through and through, I'm 100% a ginger. Both my parents had red heair - my mom's kinda blonded out a bit, and my dad's kinda retreated and browned - but both had vibrant red hair not too too many years ago. All my siblings have red hair, too, and some of us have our own little red heads too. But red hair, pale freckled skin, propensity to sunburn after 10 minutes, even at midnight? Yup, that's me.

Ginger, as a flavor and ingedient, is definitely an acquired taste. I've come to embrace its warmth and spicy sharpness, especially in beverage form. The best kombuchas has ginger in them, for my palate.That being said, it's one of those things that can come to be "a bit much" fairly quickly and easily, so I knew that Trader Joe's 100% Ginger Drink Mix was going to be an interesting try.

The ingredient lsit here is pretty simple: it's just ginger. I'm unsure of the proper term, but it's a dried up, light, powdery mix inside the single serving packets. Really, the first thing that came to mind was a fine sawdust. There's no sugar or added anything to make big ol' granules of anything.

And you know what? The ginger powder doesn't smell like anything either. Not that I can tell, or nor can my lovely bride, who's olfacotry senses are much more keen than mine. This led to believe that somehow this might be a very mild mix - smell is such a large part of taste, after all.

Well, I was wrong.

Being that it's been a little chilly and dreary in the 'burgh, and I was heading back towards my chillier and drearier basement for work, i opted for the hot beverage option. The ginger drink mix dissolved nealry instantly will just a customary stir or two in the near-boiling recommended 12 ounces of water I poured into my mug.

First few sips were mild, warm, a bit spicy..and then it just got more and more and more, well super gingery. I had to cough once or twice in reaction. I mean, it was all pretty enjoyable...but I sure was glad to pour in a little more hot water to warm up my cup and dilute it down a little more.

Good flavor though, through and through. Served hot, the ginger drink probably could use a little twist of lemon just to make the flavor profile not as "one note" as straight up ginger. There's all sorts of potential here - could be served cold on a warmer day and still be pretty pleasant. I'm not sure if there's potential to use this in a DIY fermented beverage as a super easy way to add some ginger, but at the very least it could be an excellent mix in for other drinks. Sandy keeps mentioning how she wants to use this to mimic "that Starbucks drink" that I can only vaguely recall having one sip of nearly a month ago - something with pineapple and turmeric and ginger or something. Don't know, really, but sounds good.

Somehow I'm the only one who's tried it thus far here. Sandy's been more into tea for an afternoon warm beverage, which I'm not a huge fan of, but I'm sure we will get around to trying out the drink mix in a variety of ways. Got any good suggestions? Share away. I like it enough to give it a seven overall.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 100% Ginger Drink Mix: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, March 23, 2020

Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Yerba Mate Beverage

Yerba mate. Ginkgo biloba. Myocardial infarction. Antidisestablishmentarianism.

There are some words and phrases I don't get to say on a daily basis, but I wish I did. Dispensational premillennialism, for example.

I guess I should have been a theologian, herbalist, or doctor if I really wanted to say those words. 

Wait. Does anyone really get to say "antidisestablishmentarianism" on a regular basis? Pretty sure they just made up that word for the purposes of fun facts and spelling bees. Anyway, I wish I had occasion to say it more often. 

On the other hand, meh. The grass is always greener, methinks. I should just be grateful I get to say "yerba mate" a few times on this glorious day...another day of social distancing and elbow bumps instead of handshakes. A day full of other wonderful phrases like "shelter in place," "toilet paper hoarders," "hydroxychloroquine," and "cytokine storm" --things I never imagined I'd come to say on the regular. Yet here we are. It's a brave new world of weird new phrases.

Can't say I know much about yerba mate. I've had a yerba mate hot tea or two, thanks to the lovely Sonia, a veritable tea aficionado. It has an earthy and faintly bitter tea-ish flavor. I guess it has antioxidants or something like that, too. Sounds good. I like antioxidants. I'm quite certain it's a placebo effect, but I always feel better when I eat and drink stuff that's rich in antioxidants.

This tea is no exception. Maybe it's the caffeine, but it's invigorating somehow. It's super refreshing and the flavor is light, flowery, and faintly citrusy. It's a very interesting flavor, especially considering there's no sugar and zero calories. The carbonation is a nice touch. It's bubbly, but not overly so. And I love me some carbonation. It makes everything that much fancier. Take water, for example. It comes out of your tap, basically for free. Add carbonation, some weak flavoring, and stick it in a can? Suddenly you can sell an 8 pack for $3.38 at the local Walmart.

I think carbonated iced teas are the future. I hope to see more drinks like Trader Joe's Organic Sparkling Yerba Mate Beverage. $1.49 per bottle. I give it four stars. I was quite certain Sonia would like it even more than I did, but she wasn't blown away by the taste. She expressed a desire for a stronger flavor—more hibiscus in particular. Three stars from her.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Friday, March 20, 2020

Trader Joe's Organic Cold Pressed Orange Juice

Lots of things seem backwards and out of order these days. You don't need me telling you that.

But man...if I can't even make sense out of a product name, that's when I know I'm in trouble.

See this: Is this Trader Joe's Organic Cold Pressed Orange Juice? That's a logical name to me. But that's not what the label says. It says: Trader Joe's Organic Orange Juice Cold Pressed from top to bottom. If a little punctuation were tossed in, say, to make it Organic Orange Juice - Cold Pressed or even Organic Orange Juice, Cold Pressed, those make sense to me too. But not as it is. And since my teachers always urged me to think outside the box, I'm not relying on the green background rhombi for too much clarity, and instead will name this product based solely on what makes most sense to me.

Call it focusing on what I can control. It's what I (we?) all need right now, even in small instances.

Whatever this OJ is actually called, it's good! Cold pressed juices always seem to get the very best out of its ingredients. I don't profess to know the magic behind it, but man, love the results, time and time again.

TJ's cold pressed OJ, new out, is no exception. It's of medium consistency, with some pulp but not too much. Most folks would find it accessible in that regard, I think. And it's nothing but oranges either - no added sugar or water or anything, so results may vary bottle to bottle. But it tastes like pure, unadulterated orange - tangy, ripe, sweet but not too much of any of those - in a bright, citrusy fashion Tasty enough to savor despite my inner compulsion to chug.

The price is a little debatable, or could be to some. Cold pressed juices tend to be pricier, and at $1.99 for a small single serving bottle, you can make out of that as you will. It strikes me as fair enough, but not a price that I'd willingly stock up on for every day use.

And of course, it's got all the vitamins and minerals and goodie-goodies. Loads of Vitamin C - it's nearly twice the daily recommended in just one bottle. And that even in "normal" times isn't a bad thing. Scurvy anyone? No thanks.

But I enjoyed my bottle full, and kinda hoping that the extra one I bought theoretically for my lovely bride will be ignored over the next couple days to the point where I wouldn't feel guilty partaking of it. That's not under my control, naturally, but then again, what really is when it comes down to it?

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Cold Pressed Orange Juice: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Tuesday, March 10, 2020

Trader Joe's Sparkling Strawberry Juice Beverage

I've always been a tinfoil hatter. I won't get into my specific beliefs or reveal my true level of crazy because 1) this isn't a conspiracy blog and 2) your well-intentioned requests for me to seek professional help will fall on deaf ears and be a big waste of time for both of us.

But in light of coronavirus doom and stock market doom, I have to start factoring in "prep-value" for these various items we're picking up at Trader Joe's. We'll see if the powers that be throw in a world war and go for the ultimate trifecta of doom. Either way, it can't hurt to have a deep pantry. 

Anyway, things like shelf life, nutritional value, cost, and even stackability have always been factors that I've considered, but may focus on more so nowadays. I like square or cube-shaped packages because they utilize limited space so efficiently. However, most preppers would argue that things like...I dunno...maybe like water would be something to look into before strawberry soda. So the whole premise of this review and lack of an appropriate segue means you just wasted a bunch of time reading these first three paragraphs and I wasted even more than that writing them. Hey, I mentioned I was crazy all the way back at the beginning.


Appropriate for the end of days or not, Trader Joe's Sparkling Strawberry Soda is unique and refreshing, if nothing else. In terms of packaging style, sweetness level, carbonation, and overall intensity of flavor, it's very similar to the watermelon juice we saw last year. It's a subtle flavor compared to, say, strawberry-flavored Fanta, and not nearly as sugary. I'm perfectly fine with the lack of syrupy sweetness here.

Trader Joe's also put out an offering a couple years back that flaunted both strawberry and rhubarb flavor that was reminiscent of this beverage. I liked the rhubarb element more than I thought I would, and I kind of miss it here. Still, plain old strawberry has always been a great flavor for everything from pies to jams to ice cream, and I think it's highly underrated in the world of soda. I'll take a strawberry carbonated beverage over a cola any day of the week.

The product costs about four bucks, and you get four small (8.45 oz) cans. While the pricing isn't outrageous, it's not a particularly great value in my book, especially since I could down all four cans in one sitting after a half a mile hike on a warm day. In general, pretty packaging and quality ingredients don't come cheap.


Sonia loves the flavor and would happily purchase another box. Four and a half stars from her. While I'm okay with the taste, I think I'd opt for the more exotic strawberry rhubarb soda if I had a choice between the two. Finding a way to keep the cost down would also be a big plus for me. Three and a half stars from this guy.

I don't think anything super doomy will happen soon, but even traderjoes.com mentions "drought, pestilence, bandits" and "zombie apocalypse" at the bottom of each and every product description page. Could they be sending us a message?

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Wednesday, December 18, 2019

Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Oat Beverage

I don't know how Christmassy this oat beverage is, but there is a buzz about it on social media, and it's totally new to me. It seems each year, there's a new type of "milk" on the market. When I was a kid, there was, of course, the classic cow's milk, which I had sensitivities to as a child. Then they started pushing fake milks like Similac and other animal milks like goat's milk.

In recent years, they discovered they could milk soybeans, almonds, cashews, coconuts, and now, apparently, oats. Trader Joe's Non-Dairy Oat Beverage is a drink made of nothing but water and hydrolyzed oats. Simple enough.

Its consistency is similar to any of the above-named nut milks—that is, it's thinner than cow's milk and slightly thicker than water. Flavor-wise, it reminds me of milk left over from a bowl of Quaker Oat Squares.


I always loved that cereal. Always loved the milk that remained in the bowl. It tastes like that: lightly sweet, oat-flavored milk. The carton mentions there's an innate sweetness to oats, and this beverage lets that flavor shine in a way regular oat grains can't for some reason—something about breaking down starches into sugars.

I could see this as off-putting to dairy milk purists or people who don't like the flavor of oats. I didn't mind it one bit. I was, in fact, pleasantly surprised. I was fine sipping on it plain, it worked well on cereal, and it made a decent base for hot chocolate, too.

I haven't seen any other brands in mainstream grocery stores, but then again, I haven't really been looking. I'm sure it's just a matter of time until we see Oat Silk on the shelves of the local HyVee or Piggly Wiggly. Until then, I have nothing to compare this oat beverage to.

Sonia liked it as well, and she says she could see it replacing almond and dairy milk in our household. $2.29 for 32 fl oz. Four stars from her. Three and a half from this guy.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Friday, December 13, 2019

Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Egg Nog Liqueur

I've always loved eggnog. It has always said "Christmas" to me more than any other single beverage or food.

In general, I think eggnog tastes better sans alcohol, although I've experimented at length with various alcoholic additives, including whiskey, bourbon, rum, and finally JƤgermeister—my all-time favorite. Prior to this beverage, I'd never tried a liqueur version, nor had I ever mixed eggnog with brandy.

It works very well. It's basically what you'd expect from a very fine eggnog mixed with top-shelf French brandy and spiced rum. I feel like the spices are slightly more pungent than usual, but they're blended oh-so-perfectly in this instance.

This eggnog liqueur is super creamy, but not too thick. As much as I love creamy beverages—everything from fruit smoothies to blended coffee drinks to milkshakes to eggnog—I've never wanted them particularly thick. A thin beverage is more drinkable in my opinion, more chuggable—not that you'd ever chug Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Egg Nog Liqueur. It's best when sipped slowly, savored, and meditated upon. It's probably one of the best eggnog beverages I've ever tried—certainly the best pre-mixed version containing alcohol. Superb.


I, personally, think it's time to force beverage companies to put nutrition facts and ingredients on all their alcoholic products. I would think a drink as apparently top quality as this one shouldn't have many ugly secrets to hide. It would be a great selling point if they did publish them on the bottle, whether they were forced to or not. I'm sure it has more calories than we'd want it to, but at least we wouldn't be completely in the dark.

$7.99 for the bottle. Just under 15% ABV, so it's on par with a red wine as far as alcohol content is concerned. 

Eggnog has grown on Sonia since we've been together. She wasn't really a fan when I met her, but now, she's down with the nog. She's in agreement that Trader Joe's Old Fashioned Egg Nog Liqueur is a very tasty concoction. Four stars from her. Four and a half from me.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Monday, September 30, 2019

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Pie Spiced Ginger Brew

Ever heard of the Baader-Meinhof Phenomenon? It's that thing that happens when you just hear of something for the very first time, and thereafter, everybody and his brother seems to be talking about said thing. It's on TV commercials, it comes up at workplace water cooler convos, you overhear folks discussing it in the grocery store—it's something you'd never heard of in all your many years of life and suddenly it seems like the whole world is talking about it constantly.

I had that happen with "Moscow Mules" shortly after my esteemed colleague reviewed the original ginger brew for this blog. Somebody mentioned that it would make a great Moscow Mule in the comments. It came up in a conversation with Sonia soon afterwards, and I had to ask her, "What the heck is a Moscow Mule?" She explained it to me, as she'd ordered one or two in the past and had known about them since long, long ago. I thought, "Hmmm. Okay. Odd that my wife knows about this super obscure mixed drink served in a copper mug and I don't."

My very next trip to the state liquor store, I noticed there were pre-mixed cans of ginger beer and vodka, and they were being marketed as Moscow Mules. I couldn't believe it. How strange, I thought. Then it was mentioned in a movie we were watching, the details of which escape me now. A friend brought up Moscow Mules as an off-handed interjection while we chatted on the phone. It just kept coming up. Over and over and over.

Since then, I've sampled a makeshift Moscow Mule or two, although I have yet to try one in an actual, authentic copper mug. We did add vodka and lime juice to the above-mentioned triple ginger brew, and it did indeed make a tasty concoction.

This stuff? We don't have any vodka on hand to test my theory, but I'm thinking Pumpkin Pie Moscow Mules are just a big fat NOPE. And in all honesty, I'm not over the moon with this pumpkin pie ginger brew in the first place. It's not that I dislike it, it's just that the original is better. If it ain't broke, don't try to fix it. I'm generally okay with pumpkin/pumpkin spice/pumpkin pie offerings around this time of year, and I generally enjoy the flavor when it's appropriate. I just like that plain old ginger flavor better in this case.

I won't say the pumpkin pie spices "clash" with the ginger flavor, but they don't really enhance it, either. They're all just kinda there, whereas before, there was a nice pungent wave of ginger. Now it's a mishmash of ginger, allspice, cardamom, nutmeg, clove, and cinnamon. It tastes vaguely of pumpkin pie spice...and vaguely of a traditional ginger beer.

It's not the worst beverage we've had from Trader Joe's, but it's not the best, either. The presentation of the product is still stellar, the pleasant fizzy carbonation is still there, and as usual, only top-quality ingredients are used. It pours mostly clear, with a faint yellow-orange tint. If you're dying for pumpkin spice beverages beyond those lattes you've been grabbing at the local Starbucks, I won't tell you NOT to get this. I'll just tell you I prefer this particular beverage withOUT the pumpkin spice. And I'm not a pumpkin spice hater...yet. As I might have guessed, Sonia liked it slightly more than I did, but she wasn't bouncing off the walls and singing impromptu songs about fall like she does when they really nail the pumpkin spice thing.

Looks like three stars from me and three and a half from the missus.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Thursday, September 26, 2019

Trader Joe's Autumn Maple Coffee

Maple and coffee.

Coffee and maple.

It's absolutely a thing. And no, it's not really all that weird of a combo, like, say, chicken and donuts. In our house, my lovely bride Sandy puts maple in her coffee all the time. I do, occasionally, as well if I need a slight change up from plain black brew.

So to get them together, infused, in something like Trader Joe's Autumn Maple Coffee is a must-buy for us. So how good is it?

Listen: If you haven't figured it out yet, we're mapleoholics here. And as two adults with more-than and close-to full time jobs and a van load of young kids, we're definite coffee addicts too.

But...this stuff is only okay at most.

There's a couple issues. First and foremost: It only comes pre-ground. Wha!?!?!? There is an absolute difference in coffee taste for fresh ground vs pre ground, and for French press vs regular drip. At home, we're French press people...but you need coarse ground for that, less any grounds don't get caught by the filter. We don't have that option here.

So we dragged up our Hamilton Beach BrewMaster from our basement stairs (because where else would you store your coffee maker you usually only use when hosting a large mass of people?) and dug out the paper filters and fired it up.

When hot and ready...ugh. The coffee just doesn't taste right when hot and piping fresh. There's this really almost acidic kinda bite, and it's oddly bittersweet. Instead, wait for the coffee to cool for a few moments. That's when the maple flavor develops a bit more and is actually pleasant.

I've heard from some folks how aromatic the coffee is when brewing. It is quite maply when the bag is opened, but when percolating, at least in our case, not so much.

Some of the issues I mentioned might be mitigated somewhat if you're a cream-and-sugar fan for your coffee. I'm not. So take what I said there whichever way you see fit.

Neither Sandy nor I are huge fans. The maple coffee is a decent buy at best, which is kinda disappointing for us. I'm not sure of the price tag but it's probably around $8 or $9 for the cannister. We'll be charitable and say double threes.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Autumn Maple Coffee: 6 out of 10 Golden Spoons 

Tuesday, September 10, 2019

Trader Joe's Organic Lemonade

Please excuse the slightly disheveled shape the box of Trader Joe's Organic Lemonade pouches is up top of this review. I salvaged it as best I could. You see, my kids drink pretty much only water and milk, with the occasional hot chocolate or fizzy water. Oh, and my four year old likes the last sip of my coffee too...even though I drink it black...weird.

Point is, drinks like this are a downright treat. And when playing in a creek at a picnic with a bunch of friends, when these punchy pouches get busted out, there were shrieks of joy. 

Personally, I've never liked the idea of beverages in pouches. I get it from the ecological standpoint but there's too many bad memories of stained and ruined, CapriSun-soaked Champion shorts from my youth. Seriously, I know of no kid who can do these themselves. I just turned 37 and can barely manage it, can anyone really expect the under-10 crowd to?

But anyways, for what it is, this TJ's lemonade is decent. It's not awesome but not awful either. The comparative competition isn't really all the delicious fresh squeezed juices out there, or those you can make for yourself...I mean, this is from concentrate and all that. It's all the other juice boxes on the shelf, with which I'm not well acquainted with current offerings.

The lemonade itself is pretty well balanced. There's plenty of citric lemonosity but enough sugar to keep it all in check without being overly tart. And there's not that much added sugar, I don't think, for being what it is. It's smooth, pulp free, and can definitely be a touch refreshing. There's no sticky sweetness or odd aftertaste or anything. It works.

I'd prefer lemonade more on the tart side, with the pulp and what not, but something tells me as the middle aged guy in this conversation that I'm not the target audience here. Yeah, at the aforementioned picnic, I was more after the adult beverages while trying to ensure no one was in danger of drowning. I'm not 100% sure of the price on these, as a friend of ours brought them in, but probably in the $4ish range for eight pouches. Correct me if I'm wrong please. All the kids at the picnic liked them enough for me to give 'em a score higher than I would otherwise.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Lemonade: 7.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Thursday, August 8, 2019

Trader Joe's Organic Juice Shots

Okay, I'll admit it. I'm completely ignorant about the answer to the following question: What is the point of Trader Joe's Organic Juice Shots?

Up until sitting down to write this review, I was working under the assumption that these new dinky drinkies were some sort of natural energy boost type deal. In that regard, they fail miserably.

Digestive aid? Maybe. My stomach hates me enough and has enough issues that one or two of these won't sway it either way.

Anti-inflammatory? Maybe. I'm in my mid-thirties so my body is still sorting out what it's doing in that regard as well.

One objective they do miserably fail at, at least for my lovely bride and me: being a cool, refreshing, fun little beverage that nwill make me ever want to drop $1.99 each on them ever again. No thank you. No.

TJ's has these in two varieties, of which I've had a swig or two of both: No Joke Ginger and Mighty Turmeric. Let's take them one at a time.

No Joke Ginger: Ugh, these stuff is harsh.  No other word for it. This flavor was the one Sandy was more willing to try...one small sip and she nearly spat it out all over the inside of our minivan's windshield. I tried and could see why. It's pungently gingery - so strong, so harsh and when mixed with lemon juice and coconut water in the proportions it's in - ugh. Not good. This coming from a guy who loves ginger kombuchas too, so I thought I could take it. Nope. Awful. The cayenne doesn't make it any better either. I somehow gulped mine down. 

Mighty Turmeric: Better than the ginger but still not great. Everything seemed a little more well balanced, with a bit of warming glow from the turmeric that was enhanced by a little black pepper. Still, this was not something I can truly say that I enjoyed drinking. It just didn't really taste all that great. I'm kinda glad it was such a small bottle.

These two new juices are something I'm willing to be wrong about. And hey, if they work for you, and have some benefit for you that you value, I'm not gonna disparage that one bit. I'm just gonna say, it's not for us and you go ahead and enjoy. If we're not buying them again, that means more for you, right? Feel free to leave a comment or two with your take on these, especially if you like 'em. There's just no love from us. Double thumbs down.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Juice Shots: 1 out of 10 Golden Spoons