Google Tag

Search This Blog

Showing posts with label beverages. Show all posts
Showing posts with label beverages. Show all posts

Friday, June 26, 2015

Trader Joe's Coconut Water

When I was a kid, my dad would occasionally bring home whole coconuts from the grocery store. I used to love the water that came straight out of the coconut, and I'd chug it down just as quickly as it flowed from the fruit. Back then, we erroneously called that liquid coconut milk. It was actually coconut water, same as this product. But I swear, in my memories, the liquid was much milkier and much whiter than the beverage now known as "coconut water." I also remember it being much sweeter than this coconut water. 

I'm not sure what I can attribute those discrepancies to. Perhaps it just tasted much fresher since it was literally only seconds out of the coconut. Or maybe it's one of those dimensional shift conundrums I've been reading about. In my home universe, we read Berenstein Bears books, Nelson Mandela died in the 1980's, and coconut milk came out of tapped coconuts instead of coconut water—not to mention Joe Cocker's "With A Little Help From My Friends" intro to The Wonder Years was pretty good, unlike the one that plays during the opening credits now. Actually, I'm pretty sure that's a syndication/copyright issue rather than a dimensional shift, but it's still pretty terrifying nonetheless. Seriously, if you have Netflix streaming, go play the beginning of an episode of The Wonder Years now. I'll wait for you here.

Weird, huh?

Know what else is weird? Sonia LOVES this coconut water stuff. She says it tastes much better than the Maple Water and it does at least as good a job at hydrating her. She often uses the term "sock water" when describing a beverage she doesn't like—as in water that's been used to clean dirty socks. I might be tempted to describe this coconut juice as just a small step up from sock water.
It's not that Trader Joe's offering is any worse than other pre-packaged coconut water. I'm just not really a fan of any coconut water since I transitioned into this peculiar universe—and likewise, Sonia generally likes any coconut water. Somewhere in one of our podcast episodes, I said something along the lines of, "If I were forced at gunpoint to choose between the Maple Water and the Coconut Water, I'd take the Maple Water." It's true.

Anyway, Sonia gives this product 4.5 stars, and I'm gonna give it 2.5. That still yields a respectable score of 7 out of 10, but be advised, if you're not a huge fan of other pre-packaged coconut waters, you probably won't be a fan of this, and vice versa. 

Now bring on the onslaught of "You're an idiot but your wife isn't" style comments that I've become so accustomed to these past 5 1/2 years ;)

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Wednesday, May 20, 2015

Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer

Need a cool, refreshing drink for a hot summer day, and something like maple water sound a little too silly and hipstery for ya? Well, how about some ginger beer?

Note: Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer is neither ginger ale nor is it alcoholic. Ginger ale, although occasionally delicious, is your basic ginger-flavored soda, of course. Ginger beer, on the other hand, is a beverage produced with via brewing and fermentation and the whole nine yards. Here's a guide on how to make your own to give you an idea of the process involved.

As for the outcome: delicious. Both Sandy and I are pretty big fans. There's very little carbonation, if any, which makes for a cool, crisp flow. Although not as harshly ginger-tinged as some other TJ's brews, there's still a good, solid ginger bite underflow adding lots of bitterness. Yet, there's plenty of tart sweetness to counteract it all, thanks mainly to the limes and sugar.

The taste isn't perfectly balanced or smoothed over, though. The first bottle we drank, it almost tasted like we were drinking two different drinks at the same time. When we looked a little closer at the bottom of the bottle, we saw some cloudy floaty stuff, which I'm guessing was some sort of combination of the lemon/lime juice and ginger that kinda settled after fermentation. Although the bottle says nothing about doing so, for the second time around both Sandy and I gave the bottle a slight shake and swirl to try and mix it all back up, and we both agreed that it tasted a little more even after that.

Still, this is one pretty delicious drink for those warm, sticky nights up ahead. Plenty of ginger bite with some citrus-y zing is never a bad combo. If you insist on some boozy additions, I have heard (but not yet personally verified) that this ginger beer is a great choice for either a Dark & Stormy or a Moscow Mule. That's definitely on my agenda, and Sandy is even more eager to try that than me. And for this ginger juice, if your mind is on your money (or your money on your mind), you can buy these either separately for a buck each or grab a four pack for $3.99 - math geniuses, them. Definitely worth the try. Matching fours from the wifey and me.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Brewed Ginger Beer: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons.

Friday, May 15, 2015

Trader Joe's Maple Water

I would have taken a picture of this product out of the package for you guys, but if you want to know what it looks like, just head on over to your kitchen sink and turn the faucet on. Seriously. You can take that "water" part of the product name pretty literally. It might be ever so slightly thicker than tap water, but certainly not to the point that anyone could pick it up in a photograph. 

So apparently, this beverage is like water that just came straight out of a maple tree. It has lots of minerals and nutrients that were en route to branches and leaves and roots and stuff, but good ol' Trader Joe intercepted it and brought it right to the shelves of his stores for us to enjoy instead.

Taste-wise, it's not unlike water...but maplier. I know, I know, that's not very descriptive. But it's true. Now, if you're thinking of putting a bit of maple syrup in a glass of water to simulate this product, I don't know if that would do it. You'd need very little syrup, and I wanna say that putting any amount of maple syrup in water might result in a sweeter beverage than the one we have before us. It's barely sweet at all. In fact there's really barely any flavor at all. But I'd say there's a faint nuttiness about it. Sonia says it tastes like that Pedialyte stuff they give to kids when they're sick. She thinks the taste is very strange. And I have this crazy notion that just struck me—it kinda tastes like water with a hint of bubble solution in it. You know the slightly soapy liquid you made bubbles out of with a plastic wand with a circle at the end of it as a kid...? It tastes kinda like that—yet not quite as disgusting as that probably sounds.

This is one of those situations where we might actually have a beverage that could theoretically hydrate better than water. That's not my foodie-hack expertise talking. A doctor once told me that water has a tendency to go right through you, but other drinks "have some substance," like electrolytes. And doctors have magic pieces of paper on their walls that make everything they say more correct than the things normal dumb people say. Turns out maple trees and other plants crave electrolytes just like we humans do.

Despite the fact that drinking maple water is a practice that predates the cultivation of maple syrup, Sonia thinks this particular version of the product is nothing but a fad—a flash in the pan food trend that won't last. She prefers coconut water because there's a little more flavor...and it's less...well, watery. $3 is a lot to pay for a quart of water. As a wise person from The Impulsive Buy recently observed, "I read on the internet that maple water is going to be big in 2015. I also read on the internet that maple water is going to disappear in 2016."

Sonia gives this product 2 stars. I give it 3.

Bottom line: 5 out of 10.

Tuesday, April 28, 2015

Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Breakfast Blend

It's funny, the ways parenthood changes you. All I've ever heard is "Kids change everything!" Oh, they do. Weekends continually being filled up with classmate birthday parties. Bank account continually depleted thanks to child care costs (seriously, more than my mortgage and car, put together!). Not being able to sleep past about quarter after 6. Having simultaneously more patience than believable, yet less than what is required. And on it goes.

One small thing that's changed: me and coffee. Now, coffee has almost been a morning need since the single bachelor days, especially during the work week. Key word: morning. Now, especially with Baby B making her debut back in the fall, coffee is now a morning and afternoon absolute necessity. Cannot function without. I used to have a strict rule to never drink coffee past about 11 a.m. unless I wanted to be up all night. Now I need one right around 3 or 4 p.m. unless I want my forehead to have an edge-of-desk shaped dent. Don't know which would be worse - the doctor visit or the meeting with the boss.

As you may be able to tell with my lovely cubicle corner and that voicemail I need to check serving as a typical corporate backdrop, Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Breakfast Blend has been my work brew of choice over the past week or so. It's probably tougher to tell, but my black mug there is a pretty nifty French press that I use to make my coffee in a single cup size. Pretty nifty.

Now for the coffee, it's not bad. But nothing too unique, either. I drink my coffee black, so I feel like I have a pretty good handle on what exactly it tastes like: good, typical coffee. That's not a bad thing. My work has vending machines and pot downstairs that dispense tepid brown water that tastes like depression; this is obviously light years better. I'd agree with the package's assessment of being "mellow and smooth" but I wouldn't go for "sweet caramel notes" and "floral overtones" the write up on the side proclaims. If it's there, to be honest, I don't really taste it. Maybe some cream and sugar help bring those out, but I haven't tried it. I like my coffee to taste like coffee too much.

So, this breakfast blend isn't anything fancy, but it gets the job done. It's hot, it's wet, and it has caffeine, and when I need a change up from the darker roasts I find I'm beginning to enjoy more, this won't be a bad option. The fact that it's organic and fair trade is unquestionably a bonus, too, and I'm presuming that it was one of the lesser-priced TJ options because that's what I tend to choose for work consumption, saving the fancy stuff for at home with the wife. I wish it had little more something to it, but it keeps me awake, employed, and plausibly productive at the job so I can get home and see what those kiddos are going to be up to next. Like my older one likes to sometimes say with a little coaching, you can't argue with that logic.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Organic Fair Trade Breakfast Blend: 7 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Wednesday, March 25, 2015

Trader Joe's To the Power of Seven Organic Juice Blend

Has it really been five long months since our last beverage review? It's high time we checked out some of TJ's luscious new liquids. I'm gonna skip a lengthy list of links to our favorite drinks and just direct you here: our "beverages" label (always available, for your convenience, in the right side bar). By my quick count, it looks like we've collectively reviewed 70+ beverages right here on this blog. With only a handful of exceptions, I would venture to say TJ's brand juices generally receive favorable reviews from us, with their price tag often being the biggest reason we don't make repeat purchases.

But you get what you pay for. This juice blend is no exception. $4 for 33.8 ounces isn't the highest cost:juice ratio we've ever seen, but this is darn close to the best-tasting, highest quality juice I've ever had. Every one of the seven juices is certified organic: everything from the good old-fashioned grape juice to the intriguing "purple carrot" juice.

Most juice blends like this wind up tasting like some variety of Juicy Juice or an Ocean Spray concoction that I've already had. Not this. It tastes unique to my tongue. I assume, like many other products, that there's a third party that produces this blend and most likely markets it under some different label in other stores, but I couldn't tell you who that is (Perhaps some kind reader will enlighten us in the comments).

It's refreshing, sweet, and fruity, but not syrupy. If I had to nail down one predominant flavor, I guess I'd say cherry, but it's much more complex than the other cherry juice products we've seen from TJ's. One can't readily taste the carrot juice, in the manner of a V8 Splash beverage—don't get me wrong, I think the vegetable juices in those V8 blends work, I just think they blend a little more seamlessly in this case.
 
The texture is medium-thin, smooth, and not at all pulpy or gritty. It's not from concentrate. Even the deep dark red color is beautiful and mesmerizing like a fine wine. There's minimal residue and aftertaste, and it goes down nice and easy. Sonia gives it four stars. I'm giving it four and a half—and an enthusiastic thumbs up.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Friday, October 31, 2014

Trader Joe's Harvest Blend Herbal Tea

This awesome autumn season isn't over yet, but it never hurts to venture outside the pumpkin patch once in a while to see what other goodies are out there in TJ's land. But don't worry, the 73% of you that love pumpkin won't be disappointed. Stay tuned for more pumpkintasticality next month! I just had to try this harvest blend because I've been looking for a nice caffeine-free way to wind down at night. Plus, whenever you see an animal on a Trader Joe's brand box of tea, you know you're in for a treat. I'm thinking elephantslemurs, and now foxes.

This beverage is almost like a subtle cinnamon cider mixed with chamomile tea. And it actually has apple in the ingredients! Like an apple cider, it works both hot or iced, although I think you get more of that soothing chamomile effect when it's nice and steamy. Perfect for those long, dark late autumn nights—which reminds me, don't forget to "fall back" this weekend, folks!

The flavors are balanced beautifully, with a calm core of chamomile rounded out by flavors like ginger, hibiscus, chicory, and orange peel. The cinnamon isn't overbearing, and believe it or not, you can totally taste that aforementioned apple. I've never heard of such a thing before. Apple in tea. It's an understated essence, but it lends a nice hint of faint fruitiness to an otherwise herbal aroma.

Sonia and I both like it, and I must confess, I'm not the biggest fan of chamomile. But in this context, it's absolutely welcome. This is a very relaxing, delicious tea. Have a hit of the Harvest for homely hibernation. It's a four and a four for the fabulous Mr. Fox.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Thursday, October 30, 2014

Trader Joe's 100% Honey Crisp Apple Cider

It's like I've been heard by the Trader Joe gods, who have chosen to smile upon me.

As a voice calling out from the pumpkin-goodie riddled wilderness, I, Russ, the increasingly long-bearded prophet, have stood firm against the gourd-gorging ways of society that befall every autumn. Okay, with that one exception - more gingerly than pumpkinny, but anyways...Moving along...I have cried out for the need of a fall-time product that is delicious and satisfying and has nothing to do with any silly orange thing that grows on a vine. Additionally, I've mentioned  my love of honey crisp apples, and have referenced my semi-adhered-to Paleo diet far too often, and have hoped that somehow, some way, Big Joe would hook a brother up.

BOOM.

Trader Joe's 100% Honey Crisp Apple Cider. That's right. All juice. No added sugar. No sweeteners. Not from concentrate. Nothing added. Nothing taken away. No nothing except the sweet, sweet nectar of God's most delicious apple. Caveman friendly (though, like most things, not in excess). There's few things more delicious in the world than chomping into a sweet, crunchy, juicy honey crisp apple right off the tree - as a family, we ate half a peck in just over a week and our jonesin' for more. So darn delicious that I salivate just at the thought.

And this cider? Listen, it's not the same...but it's close. It's everything except that satisfying bite, without the resulting stickiness in the aforementioned facial hair from excess juice. It's tart yet sweet, and very clean and smooth tasting since it's just one apple variety, not a blend like a lot of other ciders. The cider tastes wonderful both cold right out of the fridge and hot in a mug - it's a delicious, satisfying beverage that paired well from dishes from a lamb stew I made the other night to a simple chicken/sweet potato fry dinner from a Target bag - really, for $2.99, it's real good stuff.

I'm not here to say the TJ's can compete with the local, fresh-pressed stuff from an area farm or a place like Cold Hollow up in Vermont, because I don't think it can, but for a cider that's commercially mass-produced, it's pretty darn good. Almost perfect, I'd say. Sandy enjoyed the cider as well, saying after we polished off the last of the bottle that she wished she had the chance to infuse some with a little cinnamon. Well, when we go back to TJ's, I know what we're putting in our cart, so dear, you'll get your chance. Definitely worth a repeat buy all fall long.  

Bottom line: Trader Joe's 100% Honey Crisp Apple Cider: 8.5 out of 10 Golden Spoons

Monday, October 27, 2014

Trader Joe's Pumpkin Spice Chai Tea Latte Mix

Of all the pumpkin products I've tried this year, I think this one's the most underrated. It certainly doesn't have the internet buzz that many other fall foods do this year, but sometimes the best things come when they're least expected.

This beverage certainly isn't much to look at. But dishwater gray or not, this stuff is sweet and flavorful, and in my opinion, exactly what you'd want a pumpkin chai to be. There's still plenty of classic chai spices in the mix, like clove and cardamom, but they blend very nicely with the more pumpkinesque spices like nutmeg and allspice. And it seems as if both types of drinks traditionally contain ginger and cinnamon. Mix it all together with sugar and a base of black tea, and you have yourself one tasty, exotic brew.

I'm generally into cold beverages more than hot ones, so I followed the directions for a "cold chai latte," pouring the drink over ice after mixing. I substituted water with milk. I tried both almond milk and cow's milk, and I honestly think almond worked best with this mix (although there is powdered nonfat cow's milk in the mix already). You really have to stir this stuff like crazy to get all the little crystals to dissolve in the liquid, but the excessive agitation not only swirls all the ingredients together, but gives the drink the slightest bit of foaminess, too. The tea definitely has some caffeine in it, so get ready for a little buzz with your beverage.

Now I must admit that some of that buzz just might be from the sugar, though. Sonia thinks the mix is too sweet, so she simply used less of the mix in her milk. I guess 23 grams of sugar per serving safely excludes this product from the category of "diet drink," but it's still significantly less than say, a can of coke, for perspective—and sweet-toothed me drank it up like a fat kid at a soda fountain.

At $3.99, a can containing eight quality chai lattes is a decent deal. Sonia is still holding steady with her string of solid four's for this year's pumpkin blitz. This time, I'm going with four stars also.

Bottom line: 8 out of 10.

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Trader Joe's Distinqt Tequila Reposado and Trader Joe's Margarita Mixer

Since Sonia and I moved out of California and crossed the country, we haven't been able to get our hands on any alcoholic beverages from Trader Joe's...until now! To celebrate finally selling our old condo, we decided to check out the Princeton, NJ Trader Joe's, which surprisingly has an extensive selection of not only Three Buck Chuck, miscellaneous wines, and Trader JosĆ© beers, but also Trader Joe's brand hard liquor! It's a bit of a trek from our new home—right across the river from Wilmington, Delaware—but we had to go up there for business anyway. We were completely overwhelmed with choices. But since it's still warm-ish and still September, the month of Mexican Independence, we decided that margaritas wouldn't be out of the question.

We were hoping to find some TJ's brand mezcal, a liquor native to Sonia's parents' home state of Oaxaca, Mexico. It's a smokey-tasting alcoholic drink made from a plant in the agave family. However, we selected another fine Mexican beverage: tequila! It wasn't cheap: $22 for the bottle. But tequila isn't something you can "go discount" on even if you wanted to. I'm no expert when it comes to hard liquor, but I couldn't tell the difference between Trader Joe's Distinqt and any other major brand I've ever tried, like JosĆ© Cuervo or Sauza, which are all in the same ballpark price-wise.

Tequila's always a little harsh as a shot, but it mixed together beautifully with the margarita concoction. The best thing about the mix was the absence of high fructose corn syrup and weird artificial stuff, unlike a lot of other major brands. And unlike the tequila, the margarita mixer was very affordable at $2.49. We added a little salt on the rims of our glasses, poured both liquids on the rocks, and stirred. We skipped the triple sec this time around. It was delicious!

As with most margarita mixers, the sweetness of it offset the bitterness of the tequila. Along with the salt, it made for a wild rollercoaster of a ride for our taste buds. It's been over a year since my last visit to Margaritaville—and this will undoubtedly be my last until next summer at least, so I enjoyed it while it lasted. Since I lack the expertise to critically score a tequila, I'll go with a positive, yet not-overly-exuberant score of 4 stars. Sonia will match that. I think the margarita mixer deserves a little more since it meets the taste and quality standards of the other brands I've had, but does so with better ingredients. 4.5 from me. Sonia gives it 3.5, stating that it's a little too sweet for her tastes, and that it burns her throat slightly. (I think it was the tequila burning her throat.) 




Bottom line: Trader Joe's Distinqt Tequila: 8 out of 10 stars. 
Bottom line: Trader Joe's Margarita Mixer: 8 out of 10 stars.

Monday, September 29, 2014

Trader Joe's Original Coconut Creamer

It's been several months now, since Sandy's sudden evolutionary epiphany, that we've bought any cow milk for ourselves. Our dairyfree beverage of choice has been almond milk, though I'll admit, about the only one of us who really drinks it is our toddler, who drinks cupful by insistent cupful every day. Sandy will have some from time to time, especially if it's some flavored variety, but aside from the occasional inclusion in a smoothie, since I've given up cereal on my Paleo quest, I rarely if ever have any. Coffee creamer, though, has been the exception - well, not for me, I've gotten used to enjoying my coffee in the manner consistent with the infamous Airplane line - but we've just been buying regular half-and-half all along, and haven't thought much about it.

Until now. Here it is, an answer to dairyfree coffee creamin' dreamin': Trader Joe's Original Coconut Creamer. Unlike some other coconut milk creations TJ offers*, this seems, to my (limited) knowledge to also pass the Paleo test. No dairy. No soy. No gluten. Just some water, coconut, sugar *ahem* "dried cane syrup", and some chemical stuff which I don't know what they really do but I suppose it's important and hopefully not caveman-adverse.

And it works too. There is a definite yet slight coconut taste to it that does come through, so you have to plan a little bit for that, especially if you're planning to enjoy a flavored coffee. Sandy and I made a pretty vibrant "symphony" coffee (light and dark) over the weekend, and while I personally felt that the creamer dulled the flavor a little, the coconut still made a decent flavor accompaniment. Perhaps that "flavor dulling" is more due to it being the first coffee with creamer I've had in weeks, not sure. Generally, it seems like it'd work fine with regular roasts, but if your coffee has a taste that wouldn't mingle with coconut, then I'd say definitely avoid. The creamer won't get your coffee quite as tannish-brown as the regular moo juice will, but it gets the job done pretty well.  Sandy, who enjoys her sugar and creamer with coffee and not the other way around, had absolutely no complaints.

For a $1.49 for the pint, I'd imagine this being a regular pick up going forward. While I've now gotten to the point where I'm much more partial to black coffee than I'd ever thought I'd be, TJ's coco-creamer is still a nice little product option for anyone looking to avoid some dairy for whatever reason, or even just for a nice change of pace from the same ol' same ol'. I'll dabble from time to time. Double fours.

Bottom line: Trader Joe's Original Coconut Creamer: 8 out of 10 Golden Spoons
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

* Stupid maltodextrin AKA processed corn sugar junk.

Wednesday, September 24, 2014

Trader Joe's Rio Red Grapefruit Juice

Ah, the amazing grapefruit. It's not exactly season-appropriate, but there weren't any new pumpkin products on the shelves during our last TJ's run. Just as well. October is definitely the best month for a pumpkin blitz. That is, if we can find something pumpkin-flavored that we haven't reviewed yet.

At any rate, it's still fairly warm here in South Jersey these first few days of fall. So a spring/summer beverage isn't too far off the mark. Some might say grapefruit and its derivative juices are year-round treats. I certainly wouldn't argue with that, either. 

I grew up eating grapefruit halves at breakfast time. I'd put Sweet'n Low or Equal on it and spoon out the sections one by one. **Please note: I am not advocating the use of artificial sweeteners. My parents had them on hand and told me to use them. I was a just little kid and didn't have a say in the matter.** Then at the end, I'd pick up the grapefruit, hold it over a glass, and squeeze it as hard as I could. Actually up until the age of seven or eight, I'd have my dad do it for me. It was a kind of coming-of-age when I finally developed the upper body strength to match my father's grapefruit-squeezing skills. And man, there was only about a quarter cup of liquid that came out of the mostly-consumed grapefruit, but that juice was always amazing, despite a trace amount of artificial sweetener. Now, as an adult, I don't eat fresh grapefruit as often as I used to, but I still do the same thing when I finish half a grapefruit—and the juice is just as amazing as I remember it. Fresh-squeezed is always the best. Since then, every glass of bottled grapefruit juice I've ever consumed has had to stand up next to that pristine quarter cup of heaven that I'd produce myself at the end of my breakfast—and pretty much every glass of bottled grapefruit juice has been found wanting.

And while I want to say that's the case with this beverage, it's really like comparing apples and oranges. Or grapes and grapefruits, if you will, because the number one juice ingredient here is white grape juice. This is a grapefruit-flavored juice blend, not unlike Ocean Spray's famous Ruby Red. In fact, Ruby Red uses white grape juice to sweeten their cocktail as well, but it plays second fiddle to the red grapefruit. In TJ's mix, there is apparently more white grape juice. If you try really, really hard you can taste the white grape, but by and large, all the extra white grape juice does is make the blend slightly sweeter, and in my opinion, perhaps a tad less tart. That's the best way to describe this juice: like Ocean Spray's Ruby Red Grapefruit Juice, but leaning toward sweet rather than tart. And that, in my book, makes a pretty decent, refreshing juice drink. I give this beverage 4 stars. Sonia gives it 3.5.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.

Friday, September 12, 2014

Trader Joe's Strawberry Chia 100% Juice Smoothie


A few months ago, I was whining and pining for my long lost Jamba Juice after being unimpressed and underwhelmed by a $5 juice product from TJ's. Looks like they've stopped stocking that pressed juice at our local store, at least for the time being. I certainly wouldn't miss it if it disappeared forever. But I'll be danged, believe it or not, this strawberry chia stuff is a product I can get behind. It's thick, sweet, tasty, filling, and each bottle has way more omega 3 alpha-linolenic acid than I ever knew I needed. $2.99 a bottle won't break the bank, either.
With 48% of your daily fiber and 340 calories per bottle, this is a beverage that "eats like a meal." I can make this work for lunch all by itself. Some of you weight watchers might be horrified by the calorie count and the presence of 8g of fat, but look at it this way: wouldn't you rather be taking in calories from good sources like fruit and chia seeds than most other snacks? 

There are exactly three ingredients in this drink: apple juice, strawberry puree, and chia seeds. None of those things are going to show up on my gut the way 340 calories worth of bad carbs would.

I'm certainly no nutrition expert, but circa 7 years ago, I was 25 pounds leaner because I had a smoothie every night for dinner. In truth, the bottle claims to have two full servings in it, but I just don't see it that way. By drinking the whole thing, I feel very full, and I honestly don't want to eat anything else for quite a while. By drinking half of it, I feel like I need a bit more food in my body, and the little devil sitting over my left shoulder whispers something along the lines of "Go ahead, you've already had your fruit today. Have a slice of pizza or a donut," and sucker that I am, I fall for it every time.

But anyway, in summary, this just might be the smoothie that I've been looking for. Strawberry is the dominant flavor, and it's pleasantly sweet. The puree and the seeds blend seamlessly, texutre-wise. And a nice little blend of vitamins and protein make this a must-try for smoothie-enthusiasts and health nuts. I'm torn between an 8 and a 9, so I'll go with 8.5 stars.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Friday, September 5, 2014

Trader Joe's Spiced Chai

Not to be confused with Trader Joe's Spicy Chai Latte Mix, this beverage is full of black tea and chai spices, and it's every bit as tasty as its previously-reviewed cousins. As soon as hot water hits one of these teabags, there's a smell of fragrant spice in the air—similar to the scent of potpourri in one of those country stores that sells really expensive candles, wooden signs, and Boyds Bears run by mean, ultra-conservative old people that don't like Gen X'ers—but you go in anyway because you know you'll find the perfect Christmas gift for Mom there. That's how it smells. Like that...but a little more exotic.

It tastes like that, too. Just by itself, there's enough complexity and richness to keep your taste buds occupied. Even I, with my child-like sweet tooth, was able to stomach this stuff plain. Add sugar and half and half for a dessertier indulgence. Don't tell me "dessertier" isn't a word. It rolls off my keyboard more easily than "more dessert-like," and it's more appropriate here for some reason. The flavor tingles the tongue, but it doesn't burn the throat at all the way some chai has done to me in the past.

There's a good bit of caffeine in one cuppa this magical tea. I can't give you the exact milligrammage, but according to Chai-Direct.com, it has about 40mg per 4oz. I swear this stuff woke me up better than a regular cuppa coffee, but maybe that's because I drank more than 4oz each time I had it. I like the monkeys and elephants on the box. I'm buzzed with caffeine. Sometimes that gives me little ADD fits and I find it hard to focus.

Sonia loves this chai. And she's a self-proclaimed chai fanatic. She even tried the Oprah Chai, but she likes this stuff much better. This chai even tops her previous favorite, Tazo. She gives it four and a half stars. I guess I'll give it four.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Trader Joe's Organic Mango Lemonade

Several of our readers have suggested that this beverage is somehow "Disco Lemonade." Other than the line in the Marcy Playground song, I didn't think Disco Lemonade was a thing. Apparently, I am wrong yet again. There are two ways to make a Disco Lemonade cocktail, and though neither one involves this Trader Joe's beverage, I'm sure a little blue curacao and/or vodka mixed into this product would produce a tasty concoction—and an interesting version of the drink. But we didn't get a chance to find out with this bottle.

This is a highly chuggable, smooth, sweet, sassy lemonade right here. It's been around for quite a while in that TJ's beverage section. Not sure why we never checked it out until now. It has just the right amount of mangoiness. It's very sweet, but there's a hint of tanginess, too. Mango has a great flavor, but it can sometimes be overpowering and unpleasant. See Mango NectarMango Green Tea was similarly disappointing to Sandy and Russ. More successful were the Apocalypse Now Juice and the Orange Peach Mango mix.

This beverage is thin like lemonade, and it's über-refreshing on a hot day. The flavor's a bit more interesting than plain old lemonade, but it has a similar calorie count and sugar content. I really can't think of a single complaint I have about this product. The price is reasonable at $3.49, considering it's "organic." I put quotes around "organic" to satisfy those grumpy people who want TJ's to spend millions of dollars to hire a third party to investigate all of their organic claims, effectively raising the price of every organic product in the store. I'm happy just to take their word for it and shell out less money, though I might pay for that cavalier attitude some decades hence.

On that cheerful note, we leave you with our final thoughts: this is some really good stuff. 4.5 stars from me. 4 stars from Sonia.

Bottom line: 8.5 out of 10.

Wednesday, June 25, 2014

Trader Joe's Yellow Cold Pressed Juice

During my seven years in Los Angeles, I lost a good bit of weight by drinking smoothies and juices. I frequented Jamba Juice, and when there wasn't one available, I settled for Robek'sSmoothie King, or Surf City Squeeze. Sure they have sugar. Sure they have fat. But with a vita-boost and a fiber-boost, they're more filling and more nutritious than most meals, and they completely curbed my appetite. And while we do have a JJ here in southeastern PA now at the King of Prussia Mall, it's just not really on my way to or from anything, and fighting my way through that mall parking lot every single day just to get a smoothie isn't really an option I'd put on the table. So I'm still searching for something to replace my old smoothie habit.

Unfortunately, this isn't it. This is just really expensive yellow juice. Don't get me wrong, it's natural, it's healthy, and it's 100% juice, but you've really gotta have a massive hankerin' for some yellow pepper juice to buy this product on a regular basis. And for me—this was about all the yellow pepper juice I'll ever need in my lifetime. I didn't just read about yellow pepper juice in the ingredients. I smelled it. I tasted it. It's there. It's there in a big way. It tastes like a juiced yellow bell pepper sweetened with pineapple juice. And that, my friends, is why I can't recommend this product to you wholeheartedly. That and the fact that 15oz. costs five bucks! Sure my Jamba smoothies were pricey, too—but those things were like a whole meal for me.

There's a bunch of pulp that settles on the bottom of each bottle. It's a "shake well" kinda situation. I guess that proves that an actual whole piece of fruit was used. I'm thinking that if you're really really into this type of product, that you should just buy your own fruits and veggies and juice them yourselves. Although, I must admit, I've tried juicing and I know it's a lot of work buying all that produce, cutting it, processing it, storing the unused portions properly, and then the worst part is cleaning the juicer—although I have heard many of the newer juicers magically clean themselves with the help of little elves that live inside the plastic base of the appliance. Plus, it's really not cheap buying boatloads of high-quality fresh fruit either. But I would think you'd get a bit more than 15 ounces for $5.

Whether Sonia was just caught up in all the Instagram hype over these juices or whether she really genuinely thought this thing was worth its price tag, I'm not entirely sure. She was happy with the taste—choosing to focus on the pineappliness instead of the pepperiness. She liked the pulpy texture, too, which I must admit wasn't bad. But you can get that texture in a traditional half gallon of country style OJ for a lot less money. 

There are also Red and Green versions of this pressed juice. We just might be crazy enough to try those, too, but feel free to leave your thoughts about them in the comment section below! 4 stars from Sonia. 2.5 from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
We want to know what you think! Take the poll and let us know!

Thursday, May 22, 2014

Trader Joe's Matcha Green Tea Latte Mix

Last year, we reviewed TJ's Tropical Sweetened Matcha Mix. That product left more than a little to be desired. Neither a tropical fruit drink nor a true matcha green tea drink, Sonia and I felt that it missed its mark—regardless of the fact we couldn't tell which mark it was aiming for. It was just...off. 

And while I've never been thoroughly impressed with the taste and texture of matcha green tea to begin with, true matcha fans like Sonia might get really excited over this Matcha Green Tea Latte Mix. It's thick and creamy, and it actually tastes like matcha. It mixes very smoothly and leaves virtually no powdery grit after stirring—IF you follow the instructions and mix it with hot water. If you want it cold, just chill it after you mix it. Mixing it with cold water requires several years worth of stirring.

For extra creaminess, you can make it with milk or soymilk. I found that if you mix it with water and also serve it on ice, as per the instructions, that it gets a little too watery and thin. If you're going to chill it with a glassful of ice cubes, we found it's best to use some kind of milk. It's still sweet enough, but it loses almost all of its creaminess.

I'm not sure what it is that turns me off about matcha. I feel like it looks and tastes just a little too much like a plant...or algae...granted, sweetened algae, but I'm just not into drinking algae at all. I like tea. I like chai. But I didn't even like that matcha flavored mochi that much—and Mikawaya mochi is wonderful. Mushroom Mochi? Glad Russ reviewed that stuff. You couldn't pay Sonia and I to try it—we're both pseudo-allergic to mushrooms.

How did we get to talking about mochi? Back to matcha. Anyway, I couldn't even stomach the Matcha Green Tea Smoothie from Jamba Juice—and I love me some Jamba Juice. I'm just not a matcha guy. But if I were, I have determined that I might have liked this particular product.

Sonia loves it. She says it reminds her of the matcha latte from Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. She gives it 4 stars. I don't think I'll be drinking it on a regular basis, but since I can tell that it's a quality product, I think I'll go with 3 stars. If you're into green tea, but not necessarily matcha, check out Green Tea and Lemonade or Pomegranate Green Tea.

Bottom line: 7 out of 10.

Wednesday, April 9, 2014

Trader Joe's Watermelon Cucumber Cooler

Back in the days when this old blog was not so very old, and there were only 340 or so TJ's locations nationwide, people knew me as "the sweet beverage fiend," or "the hummingbird." I grew up on full-calorie sodas and sticky sweet, high fructose corn syrup-laden "juice" drinks. And while I've basically sworn off HFCS altogether at this point—and love Trader Joe's because they very infrequently, if ever, use it in their products—I still love me some sweetness. So when this product tasted just as much like cucumber as watermelon, I was a little disappointed.

I mean I know it says "cucumber" in the title of the product, but I thought that was just to make it sound healthier than it actually is—in the manner of TJ's Tropical Carrot Juice Blend or Omega Orange Carrot Juice. I'm not saying those carrot drinks aren't healthy, I'm simply pointing out that the carrot flavor is cleverly blended in with a multitude of other sweeter essences. But this actually tastes like cucumber. And while my instinct is to simply complain about tasting cucumber juice for the next couple paragraphs, I really can't think of anything else to say about it, and I know my negativity would attract a plethora of negative comments, and I'm sure there are plenty of you, like Sonia, that will actually enjoy drinking cucumber juice.

Surprisingly, however, both organic sugar and watermelon juice outrank "cucumber juice" on the ingredients list. And even more surprisingly, the cucumbery taste is growing on me—ever so slightly. Sonia pointed out that this beverage will be perfect come summertime. It's meant to be a "cooler," just like the title says, and I must admit that it's a great thirst quencher. It was a little better with a ton of ice. It definitely does taste like watermelon, too, but the watermelon to cucumber ratio favors the "cuke" a good bit more than I was expecting. It's a light flavor. And...it just tastes a lot like cucumber. I'm sorry I keep saying that. It's just...you don't drink cucumbers. I'm open to new things, but...cucumber juice? It's weird, but I guess it's not necessarily bad. Always good to expand your horizons, right?

I think I'll be generous and give it 2.5 stars for its thirst-quenching properties and uniqueness. But be warned: if the idea of cucumber juice turns your stomach, you probably won't like this product. Sonia gives it 4 stars. She's down with the cucumberiness.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Friday, April 4, 2014

Trader Joe's Effervescent Orange Vitamin C Drink Mix

Of the 500+ reviews on this blog, the vast majority have been Trader Joe's brand foods or beverages fit for human consumption. However, there have been one or two that we've deemed "not fit for human consumption." There have been one or two that haven't actually been Trader Joe's brand. There's been food fit for animals—and of course animal food fit for humans. We've entirely avoided reviewing Trader Joe's fine line of household cleaners, flowers, hygiene and beauty products. Yes, you can find all of those things at TJ's, and the few that we've tried we've been fairly impressed with.

But now this product is walking that fine line between "beverage" and "medicine." And while one might argue that TJ's beers and wines can be used for "self-medicating" purposes, this is fairly new territory for us. So really, we're not going to be able to tell you much about the immune system-bolstering properties of this product. Although I'm perfectly willing to eat out of a dog bowl, I'm not willing to subject myself to a scientific scenario that would expose me to real cold germs.

I must say, though, that I often get sick this time of year. I've noticed a lot of people get sick this time of year actually. There seems to be a round of colds whenever the weather changes, even if it's getting warmer instead of cooler. I'm not going to research that claim at all for fear that I will find information that contradicts my hypothesis. But Sonia agrees that people get sick just as the spring arrives, and that's good enough for me. Despite that fact, neither of us has gotten sick this year. Could that be evidence that this product actually works to strengthen your body's natural defenses? I say...maybe.

So anyway, as you've probably already figured out, this product is a store-brand version of Emergen-C. We've always been fans of Emergen-C, and we usually have some on hand here in our household. Not only do we like its nutritional properties, but we love the taste as well. Sonia got in the habit of mixing herself a glass to have with dinner if we ever ran out of juice and iced tea, since it's sweet and tastes good enough to drink just for the flavor. That's our biggest complaint about TJ's version. It simply doesn't taste that good. It's not bad...but it's less sweet and orangey than the name brand product that we're used to. It's less pungent—less flavorful all around.

The nutrition information is similar to Emergen-C, and includes 1667% RDA of your vitamin C and 500% of vitamins B-6 and B-12. Both products give me a little energy rush when I drink them, particularly when I'm not sick. TJ's version is a little less expensive than Emergen-C at $7.99 for a box of 30 packets. Overall, it's a decent product, but we think we'll stick to Emergen-C for now since it tastes significantly better. 3 stars from Sonia, 3.5 stars from me.

Bottom line: 6.5 out of 10.

Monday, March 3, 2014

Trader Joe's 100% Cherry Juice

Not to be confused with Trader Joe's Cherry Cider, this beverage is, as the bottle claims, 100% cherry juice from concentrate. And while its "cider" cousin is much sweeter and more Juicy Juice-esque, this beverage isn't nearly as tart as I thought it might be. It is, however, the "adult" version of the Cherry Cider, and no, I don't mean that it's endorsed by Ron Jeremy or anything like that. I mean they both kinda taste like cherry, and they both contain nothing but 100% juice, but sugar-craving sweet-toothed children would probably enjoy the cider beverage more, thanks to the sweeter juices blended into that one. This 100% cherry drink is a great balance of tart and sweet. And no, I have never seen a Ron Jeremy film, with the exceptions of Boondock Saints and Ghostbusters, but I did see him in person once at the Jiffy Lube on La Brea and Melrose, and one of his friends used to speak at our old church a lot. No kidding.

At first gulp, this beverage tastes just like a cherry Jolly Rancher. But the finish isn't quite as syrupy sweet. There's a slight aftertaste, but I usually detect some aftertaste after eating actual cherries, so I guess that's to be expected. Plus with the juice, you don't have to worry about spitting out pits. But at $4 for a quart, this stuff ain't cheap. I'm guessing it takes a whole lot of cherries to make a quart of juice, though.

Sonia liked it too, maybe even a bit more than I did, but she doesn't think this will be a regular purchase in our household. It's too much money for too little juice, and honestly, I'd just as soon drink the Juicy Juice-ish stuff anyway. I love me some sweet beverages. And while this drink is definitely sweet, I'd say it's geared for grown-up palates only. 

Now we have Cherry Cider, Cherry Juice, and we're eagerly awaiting the unveiling of TJ's Cherrystone Clam Beverage. Just kidding. I'll give this juice 3.5 stars. Sonia sees my 3.5 and raises me half a star.

Bottom line: 7.5 out of 10.